Is it O.K to avoid suffering?

[fcozen]

My wife who is a non-practicing christian always constantly reminds me of my failures whenever problem arises. Is it ok to not take her calls, block her e-mail address or avoid her during these times.

 

[martino]

You would probably be better off dealing with the problems in your marriage. Avoiding your wife is not the same thing as avoiding suffering!

 

[Kaily]

Dear friend,

Instead of ignoring her, have you tried to deal with her patiently and offering up these suffering united with our Lord’s sufferings, if we knew how much suffering could do for souls we would always ask for it. Our Lord felt very misunderstood also, so you are only sharing in His sufferings. Try to deal with her patiently and to show the love of Christ to her especially by your example.

Father Corapi has some very good talks on this subject of suffering I would recommend listening to some of that. Also, this is a big cross for you, so I can only say to lift it and unit it with Christ’s cross for the redemption of souls and He will use these suffering of yours for her conversion.

God Bless You
Kaily

 

[otm]

Is there any truth to what she says? If so, what are you doing about it? Do you think she is harping on them because she has nothing better to do? Have you ever told her she is right, and asked for her help?

Just a few stray thoughts…

You might try Marriage Encounter, or Retrouvaille if things are bad enough. And you might think about some counseling…

 

[puppylove]

You sound exactly like my husband. Sometimes I can understand why he doesn’t communicate with me because I can “fly off the handle” if he tells me something I don’t like. Things sometimes get very nasty between us. We totally disagree on many issues especially those surrounding raising our “blended family”. For example… dh thinks that it is okay for his children to disrespect me, but I am not supposed react to their behavior in a negative way. In a perfect world, this would be true, but we don’t live in PERFECT… Not communicating may make matters worse, but on the other hand, trying to talk may also make things worse. You are caught between a rock and a hard stone and I feel for you. You might want to think about getting some counseling. A counselor can help mediate the issues. God bless you and keep the faith. God will prevail.

 

[Pug]

Refusing to communicate with a wife can really backfire. Lots of ladies need to communicate to deal with stuff. So the stuff won’t get dealt with. Often this means she may be more and more angry next time, even thought she won’t be able to say why (the reason is the accumulation of being ignored).

There is some merit in dealing with people in the manner they best understand. Yes, I know it isn’t fair that you should have to deal on her level.

But, if her calling you is some game, then refusal to participate may well change the dynamic and improve things. It might not, though. Game players can hate it if you force them to switch tactics. Then they just find a more annoying game to play.

 

[Deacon_Tony560]

COMMUNICATION= the No.1 problem in marriage. I pray that you will both get professional help. May God bless you both.

Deacon Tony SFO

 

[Bob_Baran]

fcozen:

My wife who is a non-practicing christian always constantly reminds me of my failures whenever problem arises. Is it ok to not take her calls, block her e-mail address or avoid her during these times.

Are you living with your wife?

 

[fcozen]

Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut. Yes, i’m still living with my wife and i don’t have any plans of leaving her. I believe that whatever differences we have, regardless, is part of each others cross to carry. I went to confession last saturday and received the same opinion from our Pastor. Seek counseling before it becomes unbearable. I hope i’m not committing a sin by avoiding her calls and blocking her e-mails. Ranting is never an effective way of communicating and i’m running out of ideas in making her understand this!