Is it Ok or not?

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DavidSappho

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If you are reading this your a saint. I REALLY need help. Love Y’all.

Recently I read a news story about a young man who sent white “powder” to the white house on a British news site. I looked at his pictures and the young man was so hapless and silly looking I couldn’t help but laugh really Really hard at the way he looked. Like Mock. Then I started thinking about how funny I found the abstractions of reality that he must be going through to look like he goes and send white substance to government members etc… you would get it if you read the news story… Anyway I found this to be SO funny in the moment and a source of pure hearted joy because the kid was so odd. I stopped myself from laughing or thinking about it because what if that happened to me? Or my loved one? Would I want them ridiculed online. No way Jose of course not. Why would I ever want that. So…
  • I did not laugh anymore and I stopped myself-
Even bringing it up now is plastering a smile to my face but I am holding it back. I am wondering IS IT OK TO LAUGH AT THIS OR THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THIS WAY. Or Laugh at the things that genuinely humor me even if they are bad IS IT MORAL? I can stop myself from laughing but should I? Morally?. Maybe I will have a change of heart and not find things like this funny but tragic rather in the future…I a young man at 29 years old.

Another situation…And please Im looking for help from an experienced male.
My young son is wicked good at baseball Recently we lost in the play offs because of his coaches coaching errors. This really kind of irked me. I vented to a friend privately. I decided to bite my tong when it came to saying anything to my son. I just dont think the guy is a winner. I dont think he could coach anyone to win anything. I treat him with respect but privately I think he is terrible at coaching. I was glad that the season ended ! but now its a new season and I got an email from the same team Mom who I am pretty sure is his wife. I cant remember 100 percent sure…I should be flattered they want him on the team but its disheartening since I want to win championships and for the team to play well. I love that stuff.

IS IT WRONG OR BAD OF ME IN SOME TYPE OF GODLY WAY TO SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE ABOUT WHAT I THINK AND AS YOU CAN TELL I THINK A LOT IS IT WRONG OF ME TO BRING IT UP TO HIS MOTHER IS IT EVEN WRONG OF ME TO CONSIDER IT MENTALLY ANY MORE PAST THIS POINT. I want to vent but at the same time does that not contribute to the problem if I even Speak about it to anybody? I’m not sure and I don’t know what to do here. I should be more in self control however I don’t even know if its an issue of self control in regards to expressing myself openly.

Is It Wrong to laugh at things I find funny such as the boy in the story and is it Wrong to say anything about the lovely man who is my sons coach to Anyone. I’m talking about Wrong Morally wrong. Not is it obnoxious or something like that. Is it Wrong in some ( Life type) way to do this? Please God I am praying that you grant someone with wisdom in your will to give me an answer to this that is right and I can believe in.
 
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Laugh until you can’t breathe. God gave us laughter. The only time I think it is wrong to laugh is if you are intentionally hurting somebody’s feelings. That isnt nice. Other than that laugh all day long.
 
I’m not a man obviously but do I gain any credibility in that I do have a husband, a father, three sons, four grandsons, four brothers, eight uncles, six brothers-in-law, 18 nephews, so a reasonable amount of contact and interaction with males in my family, and I really haven’t heard any other them laughing about a serious crime that can lead to murders, nor to find amusing, the perpetrator, however unlikely a criminal.
It’s good though that you stopped yourself upon realizing the impact on personal family members…empathy won out in the end!

What’s moral, Jesus commands us to love others as ourselves, with practical kindness, not laugh even at criminals, even ‘pathetic’ ones. But you know that. You stopped laughing
but you already acknowledged that.

Maybe you have a talent for self-amusement that needs a legitimate outlet!
A peculiar creative sense of humor does have a place.

Regarding sport and your son’s team.
Do you need also to find a personal outlet for excelling, for achieving, in your own sport of some kind?

Really your son’s sport and his team’s achievements aren’t about you.
Are you, in a sense, making his game about you, and what you want?
This is your son’s life and team and sport.
Whether or not you think the coach is excellent, is not what most matters.
It’s your opinion he’s not good, but he is their coach.

You can’t change that this man is the coach, but it isn’t moral to bad-mouth another person.
If you wish to express your concerns, I imagine you wouldn’t do so in your son’s hearing or the team’s, so as not to undermine the coach.

It isn’t right for us parents to live through our children, or to pressure them either.
Of course they want to win.

What matters is that the boys enjoy their game, and it helps to keep them physically healthy and strong.
If they win, good, paise your son for anything he did well, or team members did well, show interest, but no guilt or blame for anything, though quiet as to how to play better, is okay.
They tried their best they could manage, but the other side may have stronger players.

If you yourself play sport or take up a sport, it’s up to you how you deal with that, and the coach’s efforts, and the team’s losses and wins.
Maybe this is what you lack? a team to play with, direct your legitimate competitiveness.

It’s okay if you laugh at me for my (name removed by moderator)ut, which might easily not be to the point. I often laugh at me too.
 
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Well…yeah…guess that’s credible enough…The perp sending the packages with the mysterious white substances in them probably has mental health issues and its not kind to laugh at that. Its kind of cruel actually.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
 
Please never lose your sense of humor. My family also has a mischevious sense of humor, too.

Its a lot of fun; and sometimes it helps in difficult circumstances, to see the funny side of things even in a serious matter.
In both the concerns you raised, the way you asked about both subjects, David, shows you’re a good kind man.
God bless you and your family.
I hope your son’s team improves and has some wins soon.
 
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I just get an adrenaline rush from watching the big games and seeing him pitch or be up to bat in the big moment and its more like incredible entertainment like if you were watching one of your family members excel and its really interesting and so compelling for me to be there in that moment with him and watch him. I go the route of fairness like most Catholics I’ve met and let him sort his sport out himself and in the tradition of my family and upbringing abstain from leveling some kind of undo pressure, whats the point?. as far as -Worshiping God is number one anyway…if he hits a game winning hit but I want him to. So we practice and train…Like most people I know in this modern day and age if he didn’t want to play I wouldn’t force him. Your reply was cool. It made me think and feel things I might have been ignoring in regards to my own emotional involvement in his sport…Nah I wouldn’t say anything because…well…Im not irrational and Im not the coach so Im not gonna talk…I believe in putting your money where your mouth is so if Im not out there coaching Im not gonna criticize anyone, from this reasoning I can deduce that I probably should not and WILL not even say anything to anyone even privately because Im not even there!!! How Arrogant!

but I was actually asking weather or not it is MORAL---- in the situation to express my personal feelings at all…Is it OK at all to tell ANYONE how I feel privately even…Or is it wasted energy and bad energy - that will only lead to further deterioration of my mental state about this season and the teams chance of winning as a whole on some unspoken level…Actually I am feeling much better about him as coach now from talking about it to you on this forum and not just venting to one of my confidants who wouldn’t even know the coach or anything like that…I believe in a fair game you know…honestly…Its just those big games are so piercing to my psyche Im not sure if anything I do in real life compares…In fact as far as emotionally I would rate that a 10 like making a lot of money. I would rate making a lot of money on a project in my work to definitely the level of excitement I get from watching my kid. But without any of the actualy work hahah! MAN!!! HAHAHAHAHA
 
You’ve explained your approach as a person and as a Dad, and it has given a fuller picture of who you really are. Your first post didn’t really as fully convey who you are, though it did show that you do care ultimately about others, and about what is right.

With this very balanced attitude,
as well as the fact that you see where the coach’s training and guidance could be improved,
I think you’d make a good coach., if you ever have the chance.

We parents can’t help that our kid, kids, mean more to us than we can say. Your son is blessed.
My own sons, grown, still do things that make my heart joyful and proud.

I understand you better now. In my first reply I was trying to feel my way around your thoughts and questions. It’s hard to get responses right when you just have a few paragraphs on the internet to go by.
You seemed a bit quirky and intense, and yes, you are, not in a weird, but in a wonderful kind of way. However the balance in your nature and attitudes also came through (as well as the real focus of your enthusiasm) in post number 5, and so, yeah, you’re okay David.

Of course you’re enthusiastically involved in your son’s interests and achievements.
I’m so proud of my own son achievenents. I understand

God bless your family and you
 
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First I commend you for realising that you laugh at somebody.

Laughing at funny thing is perfectly alright but to laugh at the misfortune of the others is not being christian-like.

If you can differentiate that in a given situation then you would know how to behave accordingly.

I think in the first part of your post, the situation perhaps is somewhere in the middle. It is ok to laugh because it is funny but also knowing that it must be very unfortunate for the young man to come into that situation, which probably he did not want to and beyond his control. So in that case, he deserved our compassion.

Similarly if we encounter someone in public places making a fool of themselves, we would not laugh at him/her.

As for venting at the coach,.I think you have the right to be upset and angry. Having said that we should be objective and try to right the wrong in an objective manner.

God bless.
 
First question about laughing at others - I think it’s morally wrong to judge people by looks because you said this is what attracted your amusement (I sometimes do it too so I am no saint here). And since the bad situation he is in also attracted your humor as you described I think it was morally wrong for you to laugh at him.
A priest once said - “someone asked me why does Jesus never smiles in icons? And I did not know the answer for sure but I started wondering if he ever smiled at all? Does smiling at someone actually mean you love them more? Should we not look underneath the surface because nobody loves us more than he does.” Now Jesus is Lamb of God, he is perfect, he helps us with his perfection in the Sacraments, so even if he never smiled or laughed and let’s say this is the perfect standard (we don’t know for sure now) it does not mean God is mad at us that we laugh at things that aren’t funny. We are not perfect and never will be we just aim to be good as we can. God created us humans not angels. I have a mean sense of humor too. All I can do is try to prevent it from hurting people, like if I think something mean about someone in the real life I try to keep it to myself, not issue a funny conversation with someone who might find it funny too and humiliate that person behind their back or even worse to their face. I have been humiliated in my face and behind my back and I know how much it hurts even if it’s from people I don’t know. But it happened from friends too. Former friends that is, eventually things did not last.
So I think even if it was morally wrong to laugh at that guy you did nothing wrong against him, you did not affect his life in any way with your mean laugh at him. But maybe you should follow your conscience and try to control it because you can hurt someone even someone close (make sure to control it when your wife doesn’t look her best e.g. Trust me we are all vain and it hurts when a man makes a joke on our appearance and we hold grudges on that one.)
 
About the second question - I am commenting on the abstract here since I am not a man and I don’t have kids but I sort of were your kid in a way. I understand your anger I would feel it too. But criticising the coach behind his back may turn into gossiping and creating scandal. It’s better to just figure out what to tell him to his face. He may get bitter against your son though. I know my mom used to criticize my profs at school and they did turn against me when they could but she was right. For example we used to have a really bad math teacher who taught us very little and skipped classes and we were behind schedule because of him and eventually she managed to get him removed from our class together with other parents. We got a new teacher who was far better and I know she was right to do this even if the prof was annoyingly picking on me because of what she said to him and about him. She told him she will do all she can so we get another prof. If you truly believe the coach is bad then approach him and tell him you feel he is wrong in X and Y decisions, you want your son to be given a chance at developing in baseball and this matters to you and you mean not to offend him personally you just aren’t pleased and your son is no 1 in this matter to you. And hear what does he have to say. Way better than talk about him with someone else. I would hate it if someone criticized me but never told me anything about it. Wouldn’t you?
And pray for it (even if it seems a small matter not really fighting world hunger here) to God and let it in His hands after you’ve been open about it to the guy. It is important for us to stay close to God. I haven’t read anywhere the Holy Fathers or other saints criticizing us if we pray for small things. We mustn’t curse or pray for the evil to come upon someone else. But God knows it all. God knows world problems and our small problems. If our small problems bring us closer to Him then they are good enough and large enough to help us in our faith.
God bless.
 
I would try to find a way to learn the difference between joy and “hilarity”. Joy does not mock other people, joy does not occur at the expense of another person.

Humor is a gift from God. Here is a way to look at it, if the Blessed Mother were sitting next to you, would she laugh? If she would laugh, you can know it is real humor. If you would be embarrassed to have the Blessed Mother sitting next to you, it is not humor, not joy, it is something other than from God.

About the baseball team thing, same applies. One can have genuine disagreements with another person. Kid’s baseball is supposed to be fun and about learning to play on a team, learning to lose with dignity and learning to respect others. Is your son learning that from you? Would your private words help your son respect his coach?
 
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