Is it okay for me to fix my mom up on a date?

[SueKrum]

My mom has been a window for five years now and has never been out on a date since my dad died. they were married for 33 wonderful years and she still misses him greatly.

mom is totally blind and has been since birth. my dad was visualy impaired. since he died, my mom sort of feels like half of a person. I think a part of this is because she’s blind and some people treat her like a fragile object. for this reason, she’s never been very comfortable in social events.

Anyway, there is this guy that was a friend of my father’s back in the 70’s. he’s a super nice guy and has never been married. he’s catholic and is in the NIghts of Columbus. he and my mom have been friends and since dad has died, she especially enjoys his company because he also has a vision problem. we are all in a group called “the national federation of the blind of Florida”. Andy (the guy I am talking about) is super shy and would never ask a woman out and of course, my mom would never ask a guy out. I think they would be perfect for eachother. Andy is very moral and so is my mom. a friend of ours aggress with me that they are a good match.

would it be taboo for me and my friend to try and fix them up on a date? is there some ediquate against it since he was close friends with my father? I have been praying for some nice man to come into my mom’s life. mostly to be her companion. not neccesearly for her to re-marry, but to take her out once in a while or bring her some flowers. you know, make her feel like a lady. although, I think if the two of them got to liking eachother, they would marry because neither one of them would want to do anything sinful.

so let me know your thoughts. would that be okay?

 

[Della]

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to see your mother happy and cared for with a good man. But, I don’t think trying to set them up on a date would be the best course of action–they might feel like they are being pushed into each other’s arms. Just invite the man over for dinner with you and your mom. Give them the chance to talk to each other alone and see how they get on together. Jesus said we are to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. I think this is one of those times. All the best to you and your mom. And good luck! You have my prayers.

 

[SueKrum]

thanks. I wasn’t thinking of anything romantic. but there is this play house here and a show is comming that my mom would love to see and I’ve got a cupon and I think that if Andy could just be persuaded to ask her to go with him (or should I say encouraged?) my mom would be very excited and honord. Andy is an old fashoned gentlmen and I just think the thought of a date has never occured to him because he’s so shy.
but yes, you are right, I don’t want to push and shove them into eachother’s arms. Andy has been over a couple of times for dinner. I just think they are adults of the same age and should do something together without me around. but they are both sort of clueless about it. know what I mean?

 

[Princess_Abby]

How cute are you!

Why don’t you just ask your mom? “Hey Mom, you and Andy seem like good friends, what if we asked if he would be interested in going to the theatre this weekend with you?” or whatever. At least if you get a horrified NO, then you know where she stands. If she “protests” but not overly so, I’d take the hint and chat Andy up about this great piece of theatre coming to town, but you’re busy and your Mom would really like to go…

 

[Della]

SueKrum:

thanks. I wasn’t thinking of anything romantic. but there is this play house here and a show is comming that my mom would love to see and I’ve got a cupon and I think that if Andy could just be persuaded to ask her to go with him (or should I say encouraged?) my mom would be very excited and honord. Andy is an old fashoned gentlmen and I just think the thought of a date has never occured to him because he’s so shy.
but yes, you are right, I don’t want to push and shove them into eachother’s arms. Andy has been over a couple of times for dinner. I just think they are adults of the same age and should do something together without me around. but they are both sort of clueless about it. know what I mean?

Yes, I know about being clueless. When my dh first asked me out I thought he was just asking as a friend to go see a film we both had talked about seeing. Duh! LOL!

I agree with Princess Abby. Just ask your mom if she’d like to go to the show with Andy and if she indicates she would (it sounds like she’d like to date Andy but is too “old-fashioned” to make any move herself), then by all means go ahead and see if he’d like to take her with your coupon. Sounds like a plan to me. Good luck and God bless.