Is it okay to date nonbelievers?

[Black_Zawisza]

I have a friend of a friend who I’m very attracted to, and I have good reason to believe she feels the same way about me. The only problem is, she’s agnostic.

If I remember correctly, the Bible has a verse telling the Jews “do not be yoked with the unbelievers”. Does this mean that I shouldn’t date them, either?

 

[06convert]

We can’t tell you whom you should and should not date.

With that being said, you should always do what is best for your spiritual well being. Your relationship with God should always come before all other relationships. This includes, friends, family, and even spouses. God is always first.

So you have to decide if this person is going to hurt your relationship with God. If so, you should avoid that person. But there is certainly no requirement that a person must be Catholic or even believe in God to date them. In fact, just the opposite, perhaps God is working through you to be an example and draw this person toward God and His church.

You should approach this decision like any other, with prayer.

Also, you should consider long term, should the relationship last for an extended amount of time. If this person never believes in God is that something you can handle and handle without damaging your own spirituality? If you are Catholic it would be required by the church that you are married in the church and promise to raise your kids Catholic. Is that something she would be prepared to do?

 

[dmccormack]

If you want to date someone that classifies themselves as an Agnostic go for it. Live your life strong in your faith and ask her to go to church with you. I used to classify myself as an Agnostic until I met my Fiancee, she showed me the beauty of the Catholic Church and now I can’t imagine my life without the Church. So please do not get discouraged about someones religious view. If she sees that the Church is an important part of your life she may be drawn to you fervor

 

[heathernoel]

Jiminy Cricket said :Let your conscience be your guide.

I will assert this into your equation, though. I wasn’t ‘religious’, but spiritual, when I got married. It has been a struggle, a worthy one, but a struggle nonetheless, for us to get on the same page. If she is agnostic, you might not get to the point where you are ever on the same page. That’s got to be hard. Just be careful, ok?

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I, for one, do not advocate dating outside of your religion. Having said that, it does not mean that it is “wrong” or that there are not instances where those relationships can work out. However, there are so many teachings of the Catholic church that are crucial to a successful marriage and if the person that you are dating does not believe in those teachings or respect your beliefs, there will be problem. Again, dating is what one does to search for a spouse. You look for qualities in that person that are in line with yours. Not to say that the person cannot change, but since religion is important, why not find that in a potential spouse?

 

[KrazyKaiju]

We can’t tell you whom you should and should not date.

With that being said, you should always do what is best for your spiritual well being. Your relationship with God should always come before all other relationships. This includes, friends, family, and even spouses. God is always first.

So you have to decide if this person is going to hurt your relationship with God. If so, you should avoid that person. But there is certainly no requirement that a person must be Catholic or even believe in God to date them. In fact, just the opposite, perhaps God is working through you to be an example and draw this person toward God and His church.

You should approach this decision like any other, with prayer.

Also, you should consider long term, should the relationship last for an extended amount of time. If this person never believes in God is that something you can handle and handle without damaging your own spirituality? If you are Catholic it would be required by the church that you are married in the church and promise to raise your kids Catholic. Is that something she would be prepared to do?

To supplement this, I’d like to say that the fact that she does not share the same faith may offer benefits. Let me ask you a question: Is it better to date a knowledgeable nonbeliever or one whose Christianity is based on blind faith? The latter person shares the same faith but may follow it for the wrong reasons. The former doesn’t share your system of beliefs, but she has strong reasoning behind her convictions (that is what I meant by knowledgeable). To be able to engage in logical discussion about discrepancies can help you strengthen your faith.

With that being said, though, God still comes first. Notice that marrying a nonbeliever is only a means of strengthening your faith.

I hope that helps,
-KrazyKaiju

P.S. (Thinking about long term possibilities…) Also consider the effects that 2 faiths will have on your kids. It may be a plus (for the same reasons as above), but it has potential drawbacks.

 

[Seatuck]

I have a friend of a friend who I’m very attracted to, and I have good reason to believe she feels the same way about me. The only problem is, she’s agnostic.

If I remember correctly, the Bible has a verse telling the Jews “do not be yoked with the unbelievers”. Does this mean that I shouldn’t date them, either?

It depends upon why you date. If you are dating to interview someone for the position of wife then you should weight the pros and cons of dating and marrying a non catholic. How will this person support you in your mission and help you get to heaven. Can this particular non believer do that?

We are warned against being unequally yoked. We will find many hardships in life and in trying practice our faith if we are unequally yoked.

 

[rwoehmke]

Being the child of a couple, one of whom was Catholic and the other a luke-warm Lutheran, and having half (three) of my own children married outside the Faith, it is my opinion that just being married to someone of the same faith is difficult enough without intentionally multiplying the difficulties. It may be altruistic to marry someone from another faith thinking that maybe you can convert them, but in the long pull it is usually more painful than helpful. Having been an RCIA instructor for twenty years, I have seen my share of converts coming into the Church because they want to share the Faith of their spouse and kids, but I am familiar with far more people in mixed marriages who pray without much hope that their non-Catholic partner will see the light. It can get to be a non-healing aching sore in an otherwise satisfactory, even happy marriage.

 

[TheRiver]

There is no right or wrong answer that we here can determine, it’s only something you can do with careful thought and prayer. The Bible does strongly recommend against it, though it does not forbid it, as like in many other things, the Holy Spirit does work its way in relationships and converts the other at times.

It would seem logical to go for someone who is in the same standing as you, but it’s difficult since you have feelings for her, and that’s not a bad thing, if you feel that you do love her and want her to be a part of your life then perhaps you might want to take that extra load of praying for her conversion, it’s all up to what you want, and she wants