Is it okay to go on dates for fun?

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QuizBowlNerd

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I am a Catholic woman who has always felt pretty disinclined towards marriage - I am almost certain that I am called to the single life. However, I have been known, on occasion, to spend evenings with acquaintances of the opposite sex simply to enjoy their company and get to know them a little better. Dinner and dancing are par for the course.

I’m definitely not looking for anything impure (besides the aforementioned dancing, the greatest extent of physical contact I have ever experienced is having an arm offered to me so I wouldn’t slip on icy pavement), and I’m not leading anyone on. But because I am not discerning marriage, is “going out” in such a manner out of line for me?
 
I personally don’t think so, since there is no actual intimacy involved. Perhaps a friend can come out of it. Just do not lead them on!
 
You can just say that you are looking for friends and that you do not want any other type of relationship.
You should not allow the new friend to spend any money on you for any reason.

It is not a sin to have friends
 
Since they know it’s for friendship, not romance, it’s perfectly fine.
 
Yes, dating is supposed to be fun.

If it “gets serious” as in you feel very attracted to a person to the point where it might be leading you to sin, or the other person is clearly looking for marriage and not just to have some fun together, then you should maybe rethink whether or not to continue dating that particular person. If they want to get married and you don’t, then don’t lead them on. But if you’re both just looking for some friendly times and good clean fun, then date away, no problem.

I sure didn’t go out on dates thinking “potential marriage”. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be married for a long time. My mother, same thing. She turned down a few proposals, and dated because dinner and dancing and the like were fun, social things to do, often with a group of other dating couples.
 
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littlebird said:
You should not allow the new friend to spend any money on you for any reason.
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Huh? I would say don’t accept expensive gifts, but if the friend wants to pick up the dinner tab and he has the money to do it and says, “Oh no, I insist”, then it would be fine to accept and say, “OK, but you must let me buy dinner next time”.
 
So then in your opinion it is ok to accept inexpensive gifts ?
 
littlebird said:
So then in your opinion it is ok to accept inexpensive gifts ?
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Of course. That’s something friends do. (not something I personally do, but that’s because I’m a cheapskate.)

Go ahead and date! Have fun! You feel disinclined to marriage now, but who knows how you’ll feel if you date someone and realize that maybe you aren’t disinclined anymore.
 
So then in your opinion it is ok to accept inexpensive gifts ?

( sorry , i was replying to Tis Bearself. I think that I did not reply correctly )
 
Of course. You’re friends. Friends give each other little gifts for Christmas and birthdays. It’s perfectly normal. Don’t you exchange small gifts with your friends?

If a guy is giving you an expensive diamond bracelet, then unless he is a very rich man who hands out diamond bracelets like candy canes, he’s likely sending a message very different than if he gives you a paperback book or a gift card from Starbucks or something normal that people give each other.
 
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I think it depends on context.

I went on many 1:1 adventures with both males and females in my Catholic Young Adults group. Sometimes the guy paid, sometimes we went dutch.

I would not go out with a man on Catholic Match just “for fun” unless we had agreed ahead of time we were not looking to date.
 
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