Is it okay to use NFP on wedding night?

[Debora123]

This is silly. Nowhere does the Church say you have to start popping out kids the second you get married. The Church DOES however, discourage long engagements so that people do not fall into sin. Some people may be ready for marriage but not kids. Some peoplenmight want to finish college, or may be starting a new job or may simply want to get to know their husband/wife on a more intimate level before adding kids into the mix. Is it really so hard to understand why a couple who has done no more than hand-holding and some light kissing might want to get used to the drastic changes that come with suddenly sleeping in the same bed, being sexually intimate, learning about the other person’s numerous idiosyncrasies, etc. before adding kids into the mix?

Learning to be a good husband or wife is a lifelong process, but I think it’s prudent to want to do SOME of that learning when it’s just the two of you. You have your whole life to have children and the years of fertility are numerous and LONG. I am 34 and pregnant with my 2nd. If I had one child every 2 years until the end of my fertility, I would probably end up with around 8-10 children. There is lots of time n

Don’t let anyone on this site tell you that you need to start busting out kids right away. The Church itself allows us to prayerfully discern this on our own. It’s nobody’s business but yours, your spouse’s and God’s.

Again, ideally, you will be able to consummate your marriage right away!!! But if not, it will be less than a month until you can either way

 

[Corki]

A serious reason would be if through prayer you have discerned that you believe God is telling you to wait on children. It’s up to your conscience to determine whether you truly believe that it’s God will that you don’t have a child yet, or whether your using NFP because YOU want time to get settled in your career and YOU need time to get to know your husband. It is no easy thing to discern the difference between our desires and God’s will in these decisions but that is what we are called to do. Note that the question should be “Does God wish for me not to have a child at this time” as opposed to "God should I have a child at this time?. ** It would be wrong to assume that we can use NFP in good faith as long as God doesn’t come along and bop us on the head and tell us to have kids.** We already know God wants us to be fruitful and multiply, so the question that is discernible is whether there is a good reason to go against this idea.

That’s a very good way to put it and it made me smile.

 

[Debora123]

I think it’s pretty rude that people would tell an engaged girl that she shouldn’t be getting married just because it wouldn’t be wise to start popping out babies 9 months after the honeymoon.

I went through the whole engaged process at my Church prior to getting married, and not a single thing they taught us suggested that people shouldn’t be getting married if they need to postpone pregnancy during the first year of marriage. Let alone during the honeymoon.

 

[catholicgirl08]

Hi!

I see nothing wrong with it at all. I wouldn’t even ask a priest because to me this is your husband, yours, and God’s decision. I believe if God wants a baby to be born it will be–I think God can and will interfere with plans if he wants to. But if he does–it isn’t a bad thing–as he knows better than we do. I would pray about it!! Of course, there is nothing wrong with asking a priest if you want to–I wouldn’t think you would have to though.

Is it okay to use NFP to avoid pregnancy because you are just starting a new career and getting used to life with your partner and want to wait a few years? I believe this would fall under the emotional and financial reasons but are they serious reasons? We are not closed to children for forever, just want to wait for a few years until we have a stable foundation conducive to children.

Thanks and God Bless!!

 

[sw85]

I think it’s pretty rude that people would tell an engaged girl that she shouldn’t be getting married just because it wouldn’t be wise to start popping out babies 9 months after the honeymoon.

I went through the whole engaged process at my Church prior to getting married, and not a single thing they taught us suggested that people shouldn’t be getting married if they need to postpone pregnancy during the first year of marriage. Let alone during the honeymoon.

I can’t speak for anyone else but what I said was that NFP was permissible so long as it wouldn’t be a total catastrophe emotionally or financially to get pregnant, and that if it was, it would be prudent to delay marriage until it wouldn’t be.

Which is true of any married couple regardless of how long they’ve been married: if even the small risk of pregnancy associated with NFP is too much to bear, it’s better to remain continent.

 

[jrgiancola]

I’m an Orthodox Christian now. My new church accepts artificial contraception. It believes that sex between husband and wife is for pleasure, intimacy and procreation, and that it serves to decrease the tendency towards adultery. It does NOT accept in vitro fertilization because that involves destroying a woman’s ova. But it DOES accept artificial insemination from the husband to the wife if they are unable to have children.