It offends me that you would accuse me of withholding the facts. They are exactly as stated. I was not present so I did not embellish by adding anything I was not sure of. I am not trying to blame the Catholic Church; I only wanted to find out if what my father stated was really true: that it is policy, even recommended, to administer Anointing of the Sick to someone on their deathbed whether they want it or not. I am heartened to find out that this is not true, that it is not Church policy.
No need to be offended. I’m just pointing out that often times what is posted on the internet isn’t the full story. What I mean is this. We’re only privy to the facts as you describe them here. And, I have no doubt that you are describing them truthfully. But, that doesn’t mean they are all of the facts of the story. If one eye-witness account were sufficient to solve a murder mystery, then detectives would be wasting their time interviewing numerous witnesses. But, we know that’s not how it works. Detectives are meticulous to hear from every eye witness when a crime has been committed. So, among other things, I’d like to hear both your father’s perspective and the priest’s.
What EXACTLY did your father say to the priest? What EXACTLY was the priest’s understanding of the situation? By your own admission, you were not present.
Again, I mean no disrespect, but as you’ve laid out the situation, it’s pretty clear that your father was mistaken in his understanding of not only Catholic practice on a situation such as this, but also Catholic teaching about sacramental theology. Could he also have mistakenly communicated something different to you than what he communicated to the priest?
For instance, could this conversation have transpired?
Dad, “Hello, yes, my daughter is dying from cancer and I’d like a priest to come anoint her.”
Priest, “Certainly! I’ll be right over!”
When the priest arrives, he sees a woman crying, who is otherwise in an non-communicative state. If the above conversation transpired, he would rightly be led to believe that she might be crying from fear of death, sorrow, or any number of other reasons. He would see it as his duty to offer her comfort, as he no doubt has done many times before.
Speaking personally, if I were called in that situation, I wouldn’t even think to ask your dad if the daughter actually wanted to receive the sacrament. I would assume she did by virtue of the fact that her relative is asking for it. Likewise, I’d assume that she is a baptized Catholic. Family members ask for the sacraments all the time on behalf of loved ones who can no longer speak due to an advanced illness.
So, again, sorry if you were offended. That certainly wasn’t my intent.
