Is It Possible for a man and a woman to be just best friends?

  • Thread starter Thread starter AAT
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

AAT

Guest
As stated on the title, do you think it’s possible?

I’ve read many theories from a psychological standpoint, kinda curious if there’s a theological view on this.

Note: not just “friends”, but best friends. A good measure would be maybe you can go out with just them and not feel awkward/intimacy
 
Last edited:
Absolutely!!
In fact, I have more male friends than I do female ones.
I have also been happily married for over 26 years and my husband has no issue what-so-ever with me having male friends.
 
I guess I didn’t make it clear

I guess it’s not just “friends”, but best friends. As in someone you probably would chat with everyday and can casually hang out with just the 2 of you being there without any intimacy or interest of going to a deeper relationship.

I’m going to edit it a little to avoid confusion.

Btw, I have more female friends than male too! But I never dated so never really had to consider of another person possibly being affected over my decision of being close friends
 
It does not change my answer.
My best friend is a guy.
We have been friends since we were 10. There is/has been nothing romantic between us, ever.

I have only one sibling, a younger sister. Most of my guy friends are like brothers to me and the thought of ever being romantically involved with any of them is disturbing.
 
I’d say possible but under extremely specific circumstances. For instance, as oneofthewomen indicated, children raised together from early childhood who did not develop attraction in puberty are likely to be able to maintain that relationship.

Other situations are one of mentorship. I have a very good male friend, my best friend outside of my husband, who is a couple decades my senior. There is no romance between us, but we are indeed very close. He is the godfather to one of my children.

I also have a good friendship with one of my good friend’s little brothers. He’s my age, and she’s 15 years older than the pair of us. My friend and I met because her brother and I were both in the same young adult group. Through the years she and I have bonded, but I’m still good friends with her brother. I actually know, and am friends with, her entire extended family. I’ve been to many a family event.

So, I think given the right experiences males and females can have good friendships outside of marriage with people of the opposite sex.

I do think it would be extremely unlikely that a woman and man who meet in adulthood as single people would remain close to that person of the opposite gender after engagement or marriage, especially if the other remains single.
 
I say absolutely. It has been a long time since college. I used to think about my husband, myself, and our mutual best friend as the “three musketeers.”
I knew from day 1 that there was no way I would ever have a romantic relationship with him. I am sure the feeling was mutual on his part. Interesting that when he “tested” my fidelity before marriage that I didn’t even recognize the pass while still turning him down.
By the time my daughter was born, if the nurses hadn’t seen my husband, they would have thought that he was the father.

My husband’s best friend is not the only man with whom I had a close relationship. An older man at the college adopted me as his younger sister. Never mind that I already had 4 older brothers. He was there to “show me the ropes” as it were and make sure I was safe.

I lived in a small town for a long time. The people you work with are naturally the people that you spend time with. I have known many people without anything building into more than a platonic relationship.
 
AAT said:
I guess it’s not just “friends”, but best friends. As in someone you probably would chat with everyday and can casually hang out with just the 2 of you being there without any intimacy or interest of going to a deeper relationship.

I’m going to edit it a little to avoid confusion.
Click to expand...
You might want to specify heterosexual men and women also? Gay men will sometimes have very close friendships with women.
 
I would have my doubts about ‘best friends.’ It would depend on the level of mental/emotional/psychological intimacy. (and physical attraction not being there) But I think you can have friendships with the opposite sex that are very important and have depth - and aren’t sexual. We have all done this I would hope, many times.
 
Last edited:
Just speaking for myself but I think it is possible, but more so for a woman than for a man. Personally, I think the qualities that I expect in a best friend, if I found them in a woman friend, it would start me thinking (possible) romantic relationship and that would fall out of the “friend” classification. And if the romantic relationship failed, I would not go back to a “let’s just be friends” category. I have enough friends.
 
I agree with oneofthewomen wholeheartedly.
Also, my daughters went to Catholic schools. Same 30 kids in their grade for years. Dances were rough, because it was like dancing with your brother. Slow dancing??? ewww.

Of course it can be done. We’re not animals that can’t control ourselves.
 
Yes men and women can be good and even best friends. I’d go as far as to say this can even be the case even if one or both had a romantic interest at some point.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
You might want to specify heterosexual men and women also? Gay men will sometimes have very close friendships with women.
Click to expand...
Well under this assumption also but other posters seem to get it even before I specified!

It’s interesting though. Most posters who answered yes are those who has experience of having a best friend of the opposite sex, and those who are skeptical tend to think more of the psychological/consequences in theory.

I love these stories though! 😁 I have a best friend who is female that I also hope to persevere through my/her marriage.
 
I think so. But it often happens that one develops unrequited romantic feelings towards the other.
 
AAT said:
It’s interesting though. Most posters who answered yes are those who has experience of having a best friend of the opposite sex, and those who are skeptical tend to think more of the psychological/consequences in theory.
Click to expand...
A lot of the “no” votes are because of a weird assumption that a past or present attraction is incompatible with friendship. That of course is false, in my experience at least. I’ve been attracted to nearly all of my female friends at some point. As long as one doesn’t act inappropriately it isn’t a big issue.
 
Maybe they can be friends. But they shouldn’t.

When I think best friend, I think somebody I can unload my troubles onto, somebody whom I can call at night, somebody I can go out with more than once per week, somebody who knows all my secrets. Unfortunately, it is not good for a woman in a relationship to spend her time doing these things with another man. It would be bad for my relationship, like having a bird on the line making static in the connection. Furthermore, it’s bad for the man, if he’s in a relationship, because his wife will not handle the things I mentioned, and bad if he’s not because it will keep him from forming the relationship he needs.

After many years of thinking the opposite, I’ve learned these friendships are just not worth it.

To the woman above who said her husband is totally fine with it, he doesn’t have much choice. If he rebels, you would look down on him for it. But his heart isn’t necessarily as happy as you think.
 
While I agree with your definition of best friend and also the concerns of having a best friend of the opposite gender during a relationship, I think we shouldn’t comment on the other poster’s SO. She knows him better than we do.
 
Maybe so. But I don’t know his side of the story. A lot of men feel very scared of their wives. They know 7/10 divorces are led by women. He must know he’s not her best friend, the childhood friend is. I think that’s very strange.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top