Is it possible to have a tasteful wedding w/o going overboard?

[KCT]

All these wedding posts . . . now I’m wondering . …

Our oldest is engaged and planning to marry in the summer of 2007. I dread the thought of going to bridal shows because I don’t want to get sucked into the whole wedding racket. Is it possible to have a nice, memorable, tasteful wedding w/o spending a huge amount of money?

Our dd is willing to rent a dress or get one used. A step in the right direction, IMO. Her future FIL knows some photographers, so she hopes to get a good price for pictures. Same deal w/ tuxes for the guys.

Are there books out there for planning weddings that are nice but don’t break the budget? I don’t want the day to be tacky, but there MUST be a way to keep control of expenses. Any ideas?
–KCT

 

[Mom_of_5]

I am really in tune with what you are saying. I put on four weddings. The most expensive was no lovlier than the least expensive. Watch the paper for bridal fairs. There is one that goes throughout the country selling a lot of beautiful used gowns. It is a fund raiser for breast cancer. Or, do you sew?? Also look for the used gowns in your local newspaper. Decide how much you can spend and stick to your budget. Our last wedding was done with silk flowers from the craft shop. We found them in the marked down section. We were creative, made mothers corsages, buttoniers for the guys, etc. If you have a friend, like we do, that is into making beautiful cakes, let her make the cake, OR, practice. Make several simple cakes and have fun with it. You have time to experiment. The church had the flower baskets with white silk flowers in them already. We added a few silks in the bridal colors.Have a reception in your back yard or in the park. Keep it simple. Chicken on the BBQ, salads and veggie/fruit tray.(Of course that great cake)

Pictures. So many people have digital cameras, find a relative or friend who is really good with it and someone else who can do a good job of setting the pictures up,(a helper) or call around and find an independant photographer who will take pictures for a flat fee, you buy and develop the film, put the albums together yourself. I did this for all the weddings. Wonderful pictures. You make a complete list of pictures you want her/him to take and go over it all a week or two before the wedding.

Bridesmaids dress: simple does it. Get something they will wear again. Perhaps they can get together and sew them, use a very simple pattern and nice fabric that is easy to work with. Same for flower girls. You don’t have to have tuxedos…nice suits if the groom and groomsmen have one, do fine, although renting tux’s is fairly reasonable, especially if you have friends in the right places.

Above all, have fun, be creative and don’t spend beyond your means. A wedding is supposed to be a joyful time, not totally stressed out!

Love and peace

Mom

 

[Island_Oak]

I absolutely love how weddings have become personalized in recent years to fit the preferences, budgets and values of the marrying couple. No longer are you expected to host a stuffy, formal affair full of fueding family members, dozens of attendants swathed in yards of taffeta, hundreds of attendees looking for a free drink and an orchestra to keep your guests dancing till dawn. The event can be as simple, intimate and even remote as the couple involved want.

With the enthusiastic encouragement and funding by my parents, my husband and I did the formal, splashy thing with 800 guests invited to a packed church, followed by a black tie reception, sit-down dinner, dancing, and lots of champagne. This doesn’t begin to cover the luncheons, showers, rehearsal events, etc…Don’t get me wrong…it was an incredible couple of weeks, but became such an “event” that I could hardly focus on the vows we were supposed to be celebrating. Had I to do it over again, I would opt for a VERY simple, intimate ceremony at church surrounded by a small circle of the closest friends and family. I would follow this with a brief honeymoon trip that was simple and relaxing (skip exotic and festive). I would also plan to host some sort of reception/party to which a larger circle of friends, extended family, aquaintances, co-workers, etc… could be included at a later date. This way the appropriate focus could always remain on the ceremony or activity at hand and I think be far more meaningful and enjoyable for the couple.

 

[BlestOne]

KCT:

All these wedding posts . . . now I’m wondering . …

Our oldest is engaged and planning to marry in the summer of 2007. I dread the thought of going to bridal shows because I don’t want to get sucked into the whole wedding racket. Is it possible to have a nice, memorable, tasteful wedding w/o spending a huge amount of money?

Our dd is willing to rent a dress or get one used. A step in the right direction, IMO. Her future FIL knows some photographers, so she hopes to get a good price for pictures. Same deal w/ tuxes for the guys.

Are there books out there for planning weddings that are nice but don’t break the budget? I don’t want the day to be tacky, but there MUST be a way to keep control of expenses. Any ideas?
–KCT

OK let me tell you about my wedding as I am planning it…5 weeks away. My brand new designer dress was bought on e-bay for 45.99 ($20 shipping) valued at $500. My shoes were bought on clearance, plain white pumps for $12 dollars. Bridesmaids are my daughter and soon to be step daughter, I refuse to get dresses that will be worn just once so I trucked out to Kohls and found absolutely perfect 2 piece outfits 1/2 price. Both dresses together cost $67 and change. The shoes for the girls were clearance at Shoe Carnival for $5 apiece. Tuxes I can’t get a deal on YET…My son is a DJ so him and his business partner will be DJing the reception at a reindeer ranch. Which is off season right now and does have a banquet hall facility and will cost us a little less than $20 a head which I could have gone cheaper on if I had time to do the food myself but I am not going to stress out about it. All expenses included , our wedding will cost about $3200 to $3300 for about 100 people which is pretty good for where we live. I could have gone cheaper if I wanted to do more of the work but I work full time and so does my fiancee. I am buying the supplies for a friend to make the fresh rose bouquets(her wedding gift to us) and hiring a florist for the church arrangements only. Sam’s clubs have pretty roses for $14.99 for 2 dozen which is enough to make 1 bridal bouqet and 2 bridesmaids bouquets and 3 bouteneers(sp) for the men. I will probaby buy 4 dozen so that we can also have roses for our blessed mother and for my mom and his. Not bad at all as the average wedding this size for our area costs about $5000 to $6000. I am doing it just about 1/2 price if I don’t find deals on the tuxes and rehearsal dinner. (Still working on those deals) Church donation is $150 and music is $100 soloist (couldn’t compromise as I know she will do very traditional religious music I pick out) and $100 organist…no debating those unfortunately but well worth it.

Just be resourceful and open to creative ideas. I was just about to spend $40 a pair on shoes dyed the same color as the dresses when I decided to go with silver sandals instead (dresses are wine colored with silver and gold beads and stitching on them) Shoes look better than dyed ones and the girls will wear them again. We had to go with 2 piece outfits because the girls are so totally different body types, 1 tall and very slender perfect size 3 and the other is very short and round. These outfits look good on both…when that happens it is like a sign from God himself…and 1/2 price!!!
Also, I am asking for money gifts instead of “stuff” since this is second marriage for both and I have a son going off to college this year. Most folks understand we have plenty of “stuff” and not enough $$ so they are OK with it.

 

[BlestOne]

Oh…forgot to mention…my boss taught me a secret to getting great prices on priceline for hotels. They (the hotels) would rather rent out a room dirt cheap than let it sit empty and he has been very sucessful at booking 4 star hotels for $40 to $50 a night by waiting until the day of the trip and bidding on it at 5 am. He brags that he paid more for parking at one than the room. Imagine a surprize hotel for the honeymoon that you get for $50 and stay at a 4 star hotel!!!

 

[Princess_Abby]

Absolutely.

I"m going to cut and past a former post of mine from a different thread awhile ago…

i have had two very good friends get married on extremely tight budgets. it can totally be done! here are some tips:

my first friend, Rachel, had a morning wedding and a breakfast that followed. she had a delivery from a local bakery that included dozens (and dozens) of bagels, a variety of different cream cheeses, pastries and donuts. she ordered several fruit platters from the grocery store, and a friend picked them up for her super-early. she ordered six breakfast casseroles from a local eatery, and another friend picked those up. she had several juice, tea, coffee and hot chocolate selections to choose from. total cost: $250
–she went to a place called “paper warehouse” and bought a bunch of plasticized “party platter” stuff, like a punch bowl and table clothes and goblets and silverware and plates, napkins, etc. very cheap but still with the appearance of class. everyone commented that they had never attended a morning wedding before, but that they thought it was a great idea!

my second friend, Tatum, had a mid-afternoon wedding and reception. she utilized a local grocery store and ordered three “deli party platters” at $30/each. they included meat and cheese selections, as well as rolls and condiments. she also ordered tubs of potato salad and pasta salad (but bought pretty bowls to put them in), bought cut up veggies and pre-arranged fruit platters, all from the grocery store. she chose to serve only beer and wine (along with soft drinks and water), and had a friend be the “bar tender.” it LOOKED catered, but it was all in the presentation. total cost:$500 (due to beer and wine)

*call your local community college or university and ask the music dept if they have any string-instrument students willing to play at a wedding reception for the experience and a small gratuity
*instead of a florist, use either silk flowers or rely on a local flower shop/grocery store to supply you with whatever is in season.
*again, utilize the local community college or university and contact their home ec (or drama/costuming) department. a friend of a friend did this and she basically got her wedding dress at cost–they were willing to take it on as a class project, and she just had to buy the materials. it was a beautiful and simple dress that was long, empire-waisted and strappy.
*consider getting married at Christmas time or just after Easter, when the Church is fully decorated for you!
*ask your Church if they have any “wedding props” available for your use–my parish had one of those arched structures that you can place at the front of the altar–my florist decorated it beautifully with strung roses. if we’d had to buy it, it would have been expensive.
*watch the david’s bridal sales!!! they have seasonal sales where select dresses go down to $99
*get an “autograph frame” (a small picture frame with a huge white space surrounding it for signatures and messages) in lieu of a guestbook–can be bought at target very cheaply, and some guestbooks are expensive
*design your own invitations and/or wedding programs with cheap software or a very creative friend, and have them printed at kinkos (my best friend’s roommate is a graphic designer, and she did a gorgeous job on our wedding programs, taking into account my (name removed by moderator)ut)
*if you can’t afford a professional cake baker, again, use that grocery store! a friend of a friend did it and she got a miniature “wedding cake” and then two sheet cakes that guests were served from–she and her husband froze the mini cake for themselves to keep.

just some ideas off the top of my head that i have seen done at weddings or heard about

 

[Celia]

We managed to do my wedding at about $6,000 total cost and we had just about everything - DJ, rented a hall, the big dress, tuxes, I had 5 attendents, and about, oh, a little over a hundred people. (When you don’t have a lot of guests, it’s easier to get the nice stuff because you don’t have to buy as much of it.) And, pick your battles. Only spend big bucks on the stuff that’s really important - for me, it was my dress and the flowers, and to a certain extent the food. Some stuff, like the invites or church decorations, you can do so cheap these days it’s not worth spending a lot of money.

If I had to do it over again, I probably would make it a little simpler than I did. (originally we started out with punch and cake in the church hall, lol, that didn’t last long) The good thing is you have a lot of time to plan, so you can shop around online & stuff for deals on dresses & whatnot.

Princess Abby, I love the breakfast reception idea. That seems really cute and classy at the same time. :yup:

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

BlestOne:

OK let me tell you about my wedding as I am planning it…5 weeks away…

And just a week ago, you were wondering just how you were going to put the whole thing together!!! Blest, this is the best!!! Way to go!!!

 

[Krasnaya_Kometa]

My dad is a Church organist. He says that occasionally he’ll get a wedding with several performers, many more songs than usual, and he says that it never really goes well. If you’re planning on doing that, make sure you’re well organized and that the musicians all have a chance to meet with each other. Of course, we live in a less-than-ideal city, Catholicism-wise anyway, so you may not have this problem in other cities.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

The weekend of the Fourth of July, our parish secretary married her long-time beau. They used a Fourth of July “red, white and blue” theme. Working within this theme when the stuff was on sale saved a bunch of money.

The biggest highlight of this was the bridesmaids outfits. Now, as the secretary’s mother is the parish office manager, I have NO idea where she found the time, BUT- They bought a bunch of white sailors’ “crackerjack” shirts (known as blouses in the Navy) at an Army-Navy surplus store. Mom fitted them to the bridesmaids and flower girls as old-fashioned middy blouses (think around the turn of the 20th century). She then made a red-checked skirt for each bridesmaid/ flower girl. They were adorable!!! More importantly, they were inexpensive, and could be worn again.

Our daughter’s post-wedding reception was a pizza party at an Italian restaurant in the City, about 50 people. I made the cake. Open bar, pizza, salad, antipasto. Cost $300 total with tip and decorations.

You do not have to spend your life savings on your daughter’s wedding. You have to figure out how much YOU and your husband think you can safely afford to spend, and inform your daughter this is it. Then, you and she (and her fiance, if he’s not more interested in the latest TV sports)

The best time to feed people is in the morning or in the mid-afternoon. The morning is cheap and has lots of simple but interesting breakast fare. The mid-afternoon is great for an elegant tea. The third best time is late evening, say Mass at 7:30 or 8 PM, followed by a light repast.

I saw a cute reception in Budget Living where the couple rented her brother’s elementary school cafeteria (Catholic). They had tater tots, small pizzas, salad, “bug juice” and some other schooly food. The invitations looked like report cards.

There is at least one book out there on weddings on a budget that actually tells you how to, rather than just suggest price lists and goofy stuff that wouldn’t work anyway.

 

[1ke]

KCT:

All these wedding posts . . . now I’m wondering . …

Our oldest is engaged and planning to marry in the summer of 2007. I dread the thought of going to bridal shows because I don’t want to get sucked into the whole wedding racket. Is it possible to have a nice, memorable, tasteful wedding w/o spending a huge amount of money?

Our dd is willing to rent a dress or get one used. A step in the right direction, IMO. Her future FIL knows some photographers, so she hopes to get a good price for pictures. Same deal w/ tuxes for the guys.

Are there books out there for planning weddings that are nice but don’t break the budget? I don’t want the day to be tacky, but there MUST be a way to keep control of expenses. Any ideas?
–KCT

My wedding is in 2 weeks. Yes, it is possible to be reasonable, save money, and still have a nice wedding. I bought my dress at a discount place, David’s Bridal. The bridesmaids dresses are from Chadwick’s of Boston catalog, and I have a 30% off coupon so they were only like $50.00.

I highly recommend the book Bridal Bargains by Denise & Alan Fields. They also have a book called Cyber Bride. These two books, hands down, saved me tons of money and gave me good ideas. I would read a chapter before tackling that particular task, like the chapter on florists before my appointments with florists.

I do recommend the bridal show just to get business cards and ideas. I ended up using a couple of vendors from the show. I got recommendations from the reception site coordinator. She had some very reputable vendors that she pointed me to-- ones that weren’t at the show and didn’t advertise. She pointed me to a florist that was a work at home mom-- saved tons on the flowers because she works from her house.

I recommend going to your local craft store and buying several books on wedidng crafts. My favorites books is Wedding Papercrafts edited by North Light Books. I bought stuff on sale, used coupons, etc.

I did tons of research on the internet. I made my own invitations and programs. I bought paper from several online sources. I made my own wedding favors. Cheap supplies are available online. I made gifts for my attendants by buying bulk bath salts online and some glass jars online.

You can send a message here through Catholic Answers to me if you want more detailed info.

I’d also suggest going onlie to www.weddingchannel.com and visiting their message board and they have tons of online articles, like quesitons to ask vendors, etc. Lots of ideas from crafty, budget conscious brides.

 

[mari319]

It’s absolutely possible to have a nice wedding without going completely broke! One of the many tools I used was a website at www.theknot.com. They have a budget tool. It can give you the “average” cost of a wedding but you obviously don’t have to use that. We put in the budget we had planned for our wedding and it calculated approximately how much each thing you want (you can edit that list too) will cost as a percentage of your total budget.

Here are some of the ways we saved money on stuff:

1. My mom made my dress. It cost only about $100 total. (Do you have any seamstresses in your family who would help?)
2. We got our invitations online for $0.50 each, including envelopes and personalized return addresses. (No response cards though.)
3. We asked for email or phone RSVP to save on postage.
4. We had a family friend who decorates cakes make our cake for a discount.
5. Most tux shops will give the groom his free if you have more than 3 groomsmen/ushers.
6. We made our own programs. I’d be careful about making your own invitations, though. That tends to get even more expensive than the online invites we found.
7. We did a buffet for the reception, but that might not be a cost savings depending on what you have and where you are.
8. We made our own favors and decorated everything on our own.

Good luck and have fun! Use as many contacts for discounted services as you can find between yourselves and your friends.

Blessings to the bride and groom!

 

[Ray_Scheel]

In past years I photographed weddings several times, free (or cost of expenses) for family and close friends, and enough to be worth my time for acquaintances. Participatingi n the provider end of wedding services has colored my perception of what constitutes a “good” wedding/reception. To this day I carry a few safety pins to every wedding I participate in in any significant way, not once has there been a time they didn’t come in handy.

A small-time photographer who charges a set fee and hands over the negatives (or a CD of high-res images with a reproduction release printed on the label) are usually cheaper than the full-time pros and do a better job of delivering the memories en masse. It has to be someone practiced at taking a lot of pictures under pressure in indoor conditions - I got my initial “training” shooting slide film for a process retreat program I was active in (Aggie Awakening). They also need to have been to several weddings to be able to help keep things running as smoothly as possible. Its a good sign to find someone who wants to take as many pictures as possible before the ceremony, as that minimizes the amount of time guests are kept waiting.

IME, DJ’s are more fun than live bands for receptions and are generally cheaper. They have a greater selection of music and don’t take breaks, plus are more able to help keepo things flowing smoothly at the reception. At my wedding, on of the DJ’s slipped me a pair of scissors as we headed to the door, having caught onto the fact that my truck (the get-away vehicle) had been thoroughly sealed with cling-wrap. Notable exception was a case where an old Jr. High bud got married who’s younger brother is a rising star in the traditional / folk music circles - the reception was several hours of trational music, squardance tune, etc - a real blast and totally unlike the normal experience with a hired band.

An organist that can also serve as a cantor, or a pair, is all that’s needed for music in the church. A group of strings an a good pianist are nice if you can afford them, but its really easy to over-do it with too many singers / instruments. Keep the focus on the couple, not the help.

DW picked inexpensive and re-usable dresses for her bridesmaids, but beware of geting a deal that was “too good” - my wife’s dress was essentially hostage until we forked over additional fees for “rush” alterations last minute due to the shop losing measurements of one bridesmaid 3 times, and another two had their measurements lost once. For a while we were plotting a reason to get my wife’s dress out early (say for a photo shoot) then meeting the bridesmaids at a dress shop/outlet to jointly pick an alternate I was going to pay for myself, and have someone else finish altering my wife’s dress. It turned out ok, they finished the alteratins the morningo f theday before, but we were not surprised when that bridal shop folded 8-9 months later.

If there is a meal to be catered, simple foods actually satisfy guests more than more extravigant dishes. If you expect a significant number of toddlers or young children, make sure there are plenty of grapes, cheese, and crackers.

Someone in every family has a DVD burner and enough know-how to take stacks of baby / childhood pictures of the couple and turn them into a DVD slideshow to entertain guests at the reception until the bridal party arrives. You can star scanning now…

We did rent tuxes, but I chose about the cheapest version available, and a verly limited cast of folks required to wear one.