Is it possible to know that someone went to hell based on how they died?

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ellam25

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Hi I know that generally we don’t know someone’s spiritual fate although we may have our guesses. I am just wondering if its possible to know someone went to hell and here is why I ask specifically.
I was very close to my step cousins ages 7 and 11. My step uncle who was having an ongoing custody feud over the two children decided to kill them with an overdose of drugs and then shot himself and died. Later police found word documents on his computer with lots of plans on how he was going to kill the girls with details dating back to a year before their deaths…so it was very premeditated. Aside from that he wrote an email to my aunt, as well as his ex wife and his two brothers and sister that he was “fed up with his wife always coming out on top” and how disappointed he was in the system and that he was “exercising his right to decide his children s destiny”. Now I always include his soul in my prayers although not very hopefully and once when I was praying with my dad I mentioned my step uncles soul and my dad said: " no he is in hell. You can’t pray for someone in hell " which is true . I always assumed my uncle was in hell but never thought I could no for sure although the circumstances were not promising. What do you think? I miss my cousins every day and am still struggling not to hate him no matter where he is.
 
No is the short answer. Only God knows the final destination of any particular soul. Although one may have very good grounds for suspecting such and such a person is in hell (or heaven), ultimately it is mere speculation and conjecture and is pointless.

I am sorry to hear of this terrible situation and cannot imagine how distressing and devastating it must be but I think it is better for you to just let the question of whether he is in hell, go. If not it could end up tormenting you.

Leave it to God to deal with. You aren’t obliged to pray for his soul. At this stage it is probably better if you just prayed for yourself and your family for healing. Maybe have a Mass said for healing of your family tree. Focus on healing for now.

I can understand the concerns you have about hating the man and you are right. No matter how tempting, do not give into the temptation to hate; because if you let hate into any crack, once it gets a foothold, it cannot be controlled or constrained and it grows like cancer. You start off hating so and so (and feel justified in doing so) and end up hating everyone and everything. Even yourself. Hate poisons everything and will rob you of any and all joy going forward. Make it your prayer to not give in to hatred. Perhaps in time you may be able to pray for him but don’t feel you have to or put pressure on yourself to.

May God bless you and your family.
 
ellam25 said:
Hi I know that generally we don’t know someone’s spiritual fate although we may have our guesses. I am just wondering if its possible to know someone went to hell and here is why I ask specifically.
I was very close to my step cousins ages 7 and 11. My step uncle who was having an ongoing custody feud over the two children decided to kill them with an overdose of drugs and then shot himself and died. Later police found word documents on his computer with lots of plans on how he was going to kill the girls with details dating back to a year before their deaths…so it was very premeditated. Aside from that he wrote an email to my aunt, as well as his ex wife and his two brothers and sister that he was “fed up with his wife always coming out on top” and how disappointed he was in the system and that he was “exercising his right to decide his children s destiny”. Now I always include his soul in my prayers although not very hopefully and once when I was praying with my dad I mentioned my step uncles soul and my dad said: " no he is in hell. You can’t pray for someone in hell " which is true . I always assumed my uncle was in hell but never thought I could no for sure although the circumstances were not promising. What do you think? I miss my cousins every day and am still struggling not to hate him no matter where he is.
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Only God knows the state of a person’s soul at death.
 
No, we can never know and should never hope for someone to be in hell. Although his actions are horrific, there is always the possibility that he made a heartfelt act of contrition between pulling the trigger and dying.
 
Of course, the others are quite right: outside of a private revelation, we just cannot know.

I think the question should be, “What do we do in situations where we strongly suspect someone went to hell?”

The answer, of course, is that we pray for their souls all the more.
 
Elam,
My heart goes out to your and your family, The sorrow you are experience from this horrific event must be so heavy.

When the Church says we “can’t” pray for a soul in Hell, She does not mean it is forbidden: the Church has never forbidden us to pray for the soul of anyone or any group, nor declared anyone to be in Hell. What is meant by “can’t” is that the souls in Hell cannot benefit from our prayers, so it’s like telling someone, you can’t use the car key in the house lock.

However, we first do not know whether or not a soul is in Hell. If your step-uncle suffered from some mental illness or had another miigating factor, he may have escaped that dreadful eternal fate, and if that is the case, his soul will need a lot of prayers, won’t it! So for that reason, as well as the important reason you mentioned, that it helps you to avoid hating him, it is goid to pray for his soul.

Secondly, even if he is in Hell, your prayers will be used by God to help other souls in Purgatory–they will not go to waste.

You have been fortunate enough to receive a great blessing from God to help you cope with this terrible event. Express your gratitude to God for that, and pray for the rest of yoru family, esp your father.
 
I am sorry for the loss of your cousins, especially in such a senseless way. We have no way of knowing who is in hell or not in hell. You can, in charity, pray for your uncle, but don’t forget to pray for the other family members who are also struggling with coping with this tragedy.
 
I must admit he could have had a better death, and from outward appearances it doesn’t look good. But we weren’t in his shoes or in his mind. It may be that he is in purgatory and is in great need of your prayers. And also your cousins because they were old enough to know right from wrong.

Another thought is that God sees the person’s life in a single glance and also everything that touches that person while living. A theological opinion has it that by our prayers now, God may apply these in advance to when he was living to help him. So it may be that your prayers now may be a factor in his well being while he lived.

So let’s hope and pray for the best and leave the rest in Jesus’ hands who died for everyone.
 
There’s a wonderful story from St. Jean Vianney, the Cure of Ars, that may set your mind at ease:

It is said that one day, Fr. Vianney was walking around Ars when a woman came up to him, distraught. He took the time to calm down the inconsolable woman and then asked her what was the matter.

“Pere”, she began, “my husband just took his own life. He went out to the main bridge over the river and threw himself in!”

“I’m very sorry for your loss and I will remember him in my prayers,” he replied.

“But, Pere”, she retorted, “I fear that he is beyond prayers. Not only did he commit suicide, but he had not been to the Sacraments for twenty years. I fear his soul is lost forever.”

Father Vianney looked into her eyes and said calmly, “Madam, you must remember. There is always a distance between the bridge and the water.” Meaning that even in that last moment, he may have repented and asked God for forgiveness.

Do not despair of your uncle. Pray that in that last moment, that he asked God for mercy and made a perfect act of contrition. If he did, in his infinite love and kindness, God would grant it.
 
I just need to comment that when the Church states “we cannot pray for someone in hell” she is merely stating a truth, indeed no one can pray for someone in hell. Because hell is a permanent state.
However the Church has NEVER declared any one to be in hell (Not even Judas the betrayer of Jesus), even when she feels she has the authority to declare someone in Heaven she refrains from declaring damnation to any one.
Remember that in one way or another we are all sinners.

Therefore it follows, that since no one knows WHO (Human family) is in hell we should pray for all the departed. Without distinction.
Also as others have suggested do pray for your dad that he may find forgiveness.

…
 
Is it possible to know that someone went to hell based on how they died?

No not really. For you are not God. You do not see what may happen interiorly in the last moments between them and God.
 
We are obliged to pray for the dead. That is true. I don’t believe however that we are obliged to pray for any one soul in particular. For instance I pray daily for some individual souls that come to my attention and say the prayer to St Gertrude for all souls in purgatory, particularly that soul most in need of prayer. There are some souls that I do not pray for, for whatever reason (say a suicide bomber or notorious murderer or Hitler) and I don’t feel I am neglecting my obligations by my choice. I leave it to God to do what he wills with my prayers. If He chooses to use my prayers for some soul I had elected not to pray for then I am content as it is God’s will.
 
I’m so very sorry that your family has to go through this tragic loss. I will pray for you and your family. May the Heavenly Father bring you and your family healing and peace. Amen.
 
Spritus1 said:
I don’t believe however that we are obliged to pray for any one soul in particular.
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Well, outside of parents, family, and friends, yes, you may be right.

But obviously, just doing what we must do in justice, and never doing anything at all out of charity, is against Christ’s clear council to be perfect, even as our Father in heaven is perfect.
 
A friend of mine told me a very touching story about a person who died after having spat on the Crucifix in contempt. Surely they were impenitent? Well, actually, no; it was revealed to someone that Our Lord appeared to this soul at the moment of death and they were saved.

As St. Faustina says: all may seem lost, but we don’t see everything God does. We see very little, in fact, and should therefore implore the Divine Mercy unceasingly.
 
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