Is It Proper to Ask?

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I have felt a calling to the chivalric orders of the Church for sometime now. I’m just not sure if it proper to request admission to one.

I was a member of our military for 23 years, both active duty and National Guard. I look back on my military career with a certain amount of pride for what I accomplished and the things I did. When I retired, I joined the Knights of Columbus, and have enjoyed it immensely. I rose through the ranks to become the Grand Knight of my council. I don’t say this to brag, but just to show you where my heart lies, in service to God and country. That feeling is still with me. But I have always felt the call to the Knights of the Holy Sepulchre, but from what I understand, one must be invited to join by another member or be recommended. I only know of one person that could do this for me, my spiritual director. Now I haven’t approached him with my thoughts on this, simply because I’m not sure if it’s proper to do so. I don’t want to appear prideful and I don’t want my director to feel pressured.

So, would it be proper to request admission into this order from my spiritual director?:confused:

Thanks in advance!🙂
 
jimcav said:
So, would it be proper to request admission into this order from my spiritual director?
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I know many men who are KHS, and I don’t think of any them requested admission. However, I think it would be appropriate to express interest in the order, how he became a member, what the process is, what being a KHS involves, etc. If he knows you’re interested, then the conversation might turn in the direction of him asking you.
 
If you speak of the Knights of the Holy Sepulcher of Jerusalem or the Sovereign Military Order of Malta? If so, those orders can only be joined by invitation. If your spiritual director is a member of either order, he may be able to invite you (thought I’m really not sure of the specifics). There are also usually annual fees, I believe, and I’m not sure what those amount to.

Ask your spiritual director if you feel called! I’m sure he’ll be of more use than I am.
 
aemcpa said:
I know many men who are KHS, and I don’t think of any them requested admission. However, I think it would be appropriate to express interest in the order, how he became a member, what the process is, what being a KHS involves, etc. If he knows you’re interested, then the conversation might turn in the direction of him asking you.
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Thank you for your answer.

I guess I should have stated that my spiritual director is a Passionist priest, but he himself is not a KHS. He does however know the right people there that could get someone in. I have only met 4 members of this order in my life, and that was only at a Diocesan function, so I feel that I will probably have to “ask” or inquire or I will never have the chance. I believe there are only about 30,000 members world-wide.

I think that your approach would be correct - express interest while not actually asking, then just let it happen - or not. It really is up to God’s will for me in the end.🙂
 
They very well might. I’m not sure if it’s “large” though and large would mean different things to different people. There is nothing that I have read that states that specifically, but I have heard that there could be.

It is something that I am prepared for should it be necessary to help their mission, which is to help Christians living in the Holy Land, who as we know, are really being squeezed out like never before.
 
jimcav said:
They very well might. There is nothing that I have read that states that specifically, but I have heard that there could be.

It is something that I am prepared for should it be necessary to help their mission, which is to help Christians living in the Holy Land, who as we know, are really being squeezed out like never before.
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OK. 🙂 Let me/us know 🙂
 
jimcav said:
But back to the original question, is it proper to ask or inquire for membership?
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I would say no. I am pretty sure that you need to be recommended. Even asking someone that you know that is in the organization might put them on the spot a bit.
 
Luigi_Daniele said:
I would say no. I am pretty sure that you need to be recommended. Even asking someone that you know that is in the organization might put them on the spot a bit.
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As much as I want to think differently, there is something deep inside me is telling me the same thing. 😦

It pains me to hear this, because the chances are slim that I would ever be asked, simply because I don’t know, nor have I come in contact with many KHS, besides the few in passing that I mentioned. But then again, maybe I have been around some and didn’t know it, and they just didn’t see me as a KHS, which is something I have to understand also.

Gods will be done…
 
aemcpa said:
I would think it’s OK to ask someone who is a member how one becomes a member, what does one do as a member, etc.

This may be helpful: holysepulchre.net/history/membership.html
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Thank you.

I’ve been to that site(and all the rest I think:)), and it does leave some room for different ways of admission, although how much is debatable. I had stated earlier though, as Luigi has, that I wouldn’t want to put my spiritual director on the spot concerning this. I don’t want to be admitted under any circumstances other than my being “right” for selection to this order…

I will consider what you said though. Thank you!🙂
 
If you’re curious, say so. Let your spiritual director know that you would like to know more. If you put it as merely asking for more info (letting him know about how much you found out), and wanting more clarification. Try to leave out that you really, really want to be asked. That would take the pressure off (hopefully) and leave it open for an invitation to be made.
 
Christy_Beth said:
If you’re curious, say so. Let your spiritual director know that you would like to know more. If you put it as merely asking for more info (letting him know about how much you found out), and wanting more clarification. Try to leave out that you really, really want to be asked. That would take the pressure off (hopefully) and leave it open for an invitation to be made.
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Thanks for your response.

That seem’s to be the consensus at the moment - inquire about the organization and membership, but only for information and then see where it goes from there. I would really have to map this out in my mind before approaching him about this. He know’s me well!🙂
 
Luigi_Daniele said:
Do these orders have a large financial commitment?
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It does cost a few thousand every year, because you’re required to attend the annual meetings. Expect to pay for a hotel, plane ticket, meeting registration, etc. If you’re a male, you’re required to wear White Tie. All of that is in addition to the annual fees.
jimcav said:
But back to the original question, is it proper to ask or inquire for membership?
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Technically if you’re under consideration, you’re not supposed to even know.

The way it goes is that you’re supposed to have friends in the order who propose that you be admitted. The regional head decides if they’ll nominate you. Then they invite you. You need two people to nominate you.
 
What is wrong with this people that someone cannot just ask for a membership?
 
Andre1000 said:
What is wrong with this people that someone cannot just ask for a membership?
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It’s a Knighthood so it’s supposed to be an honour. That’s like a priest asking the Vatican to make him a bishop. Or like an actor asking to be awarded an Oscar.
 
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