Is it time to "dump" her?

[Ellyakamommy]

OP, a better understanding of our sexuality is a true gift from God!

To answer your questions about the current relationship you find yourself in–respectfully, you changed the the boundaries within the relationship dramatically and well, it makes sense that she’s testing them. Not necessarily to objectify you, but to know what they actually are. The fact taht she’s asking after lines and is this in or out it an attempt to work with you. If you haven’t, you need to share with her that weather she intends to do it or not, you’re feeling objectified. You aren’t treating her with very much dignity to have had sex with her, told her you can’t because you found religion, and dump her because she didn’t come around the same way you did and now you feel objectified. No where have you acknowledged that by having a sexual relationship with her, you were objectifying her. Pot, have you met Kettle?

 

[chevalier]

I have been seeing a girl for about a year and a half now and I am beginning to really consider moving on.

When we first started seeing each other, I was not in a very good place spiritually. I had essentially given up on living a chaste life. As time went on though, I had a very radical change of heart by the grace of God.

I can now understand how offensive this was to God and as a result I refuse to give into the temptation of having premarital relations with her any more. I can also see that a good marriage is a three way relationship between God, the husband and the wife.

It is this same commitment to chastity that has become a real point of contention between my current girlfriend and myself. As a fallen away catholic, she sees no problem with premarital relations and she says that she feels as though something is wrong between us if that is not present in our relationship.

When she asks me exactly where the “line” is regarding what she can do with me, I feel as though I am being objectified and treated without respect. While I do care for her and pray that she would return to the faith, I can not see this kind of attitude as being the foundation of a happy and holy marriage.

I suppose that I already know the answer to my own question. I just wanted to get a second opinion on the situation (and perhaps encouragement or advice) before I take the next step.

Well, I saw BlueEyedLady’s advice about counselling and I softened up a bit. Heck, what do I know about that. As you describe yourself, you’ve made a journey too. If you can, she can too. Other people have. There is no reason why others would not. So I guess counselling can somehow help sort it out without needing to end the relationship.

On the other hand, should you actually need to end the relationship, it is better to end a relationship than to keep being exposed to temptations. This is not to say that someone who pressures you necessarily doesn’t love you or respect you but the act, albeit unwittingly, is not really what love or respect is about. Nor is a “dream relationship” about contention over the basics.