Is it weird if wife and I split up for the weekend to be with family?

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Hello everyone. I was just wondering if it is at all strange or weird for my new wife and I to go our separate ways for the weekend to be with our families? I am not talking about Thanksgiving either. We will be together for Thanksgiving and the day after. I am talking about just a plain old weekend when we decide to head back to our hometowns to be with family. My mom and dad seem to think it is strange that we are not together for the weekend. I just tell them that it doesn’t hurt at all to split for the weekend. I like to be with my family all weekend and she obviously wants to be with hers. I know what some might say, and that would be " why don’t you both go together to see her family and why don’t you both go together to see my family. Well, we just really do not want to do that. I like to spend the whole weekend with my family and she likes to spend the whole weekend with hers. I just do not see the harm in it at all. I do not think it is weird or strange. I just wanted to see what other people thought or if anyone of you ever did that in your relationship.
 
JMJ01 said:
Hello everyone. I was just wondering if it is at all strange or weird for my new wife and I to go our separate ways for the weekend to be with our families? I am not talking about Thanksgiving either. We will be together for Thanksgiving and the day after. I am talking about just a plain old weekend when we decide to head back to our hometowns to be with family. My mom and dad seem to think it is strange that we are not together for the weekend. I just tell them that it doesn’t hurt at all to split for the weekend. I like to be with my family all weekend and she obviously wants to be with hers. I know what some might say, and that would be " why don’t you both go together to see her family and why don’t you both go together to see my family. Well, we just really do not want to do that. I like to spend the whole weekend with my family and she likes to spend the whole weekend with hers. I just do not see the harm in it at all. I do not think it is weird or strange. I just wanted to see what other people thought or if anyone of you ever did that in your relationship.
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Hello;

I don’t think there is any ‘harm’ in it, per se. But, maybe next year, just save some of your vacation time to spend longer time with each family…together. As a couple now, you should be together. I have gone on visits to family without dh,but that is usually because he had to work. But, if this works for you both this year–then let it be. I don’t think it’s weird, but just try to make it that you can be together the next time you plan something like this. Being together as a married couple, whenever possible, is always better than being apart. 🙂
 
I agree with whatevergirl and of course once you have children then you will need to learn to split the time between families so the children can be with both sets of Grandparents as equally as possible.

Brenda V.
 
I agree with them. This year is fine, but I would try next time to split the time better. Take vacation time if needed.
 
When we were first married, we had to be in the same room at the same time, all the time. That got al little suffocating after a while.

Now, 25 years later, we are not joined at the hip, although we are one flesh. There is nothing wrong with being apart for a few days, although, for holidays, it’s fun to be together when you visit.

Whatever works for you. as long as you are not longing for time apart from each other.
 
FWIW, my DH and I have been married for over 20 years and have never spent so much as a single night apart… and we love it! No, I wouldn’t say we’re joined at the hip, but life is too short as it is and we want to spend every moment together that we can. After seeing his brother widowed after only 8 years of marriage and his mother widowed after 53, and seeing how much they miss their spouses, I can’t imagine WANTING to spend time with my family without him. He’s as much a part of my family as I am of his and I realize how incredibly blessed we are in that regard.

I’ve been invited on weekend trips and “sleepovers” for wives who want to “get away” from the husbands for a weekend. Now THAT I do consider “weird”! I’ve never been able to understand the “need” to be away from your spouse for a period of time. If it works for some people, fine, but not for us. The 8-10 hour workday that we are apart is almost too much for us!

Yeah, we’re still on our honeymoon!
 
Do what’s right for you and don’t be concerned about what other people think. If neither one of you has a problem with the other wanting to spend time alone with family then that’s all that matters. Just make sure that neither one of you is agreeing to it just because you feel you have to.
 
When we go back to our hometown, I stay at my mom and dad’s house, DH stays with his family. DS stays at one house for a couple of nights and another for a couple of nights, and is off with a cousin for a sleep over sometimes.

It works great. We eat meals with different families, depending on schedules - all with my family, all with his family, some here, some there - we all get the quality time we need with our loved family members.
 
I guess the answer is “it depends.” While it can be good, on occasion, to have alone time with your own parents, I can’t imagine wanting to be w/ my parents/sib over my husband on a regular basis. It sounds like the OP & spouse do this frequently–which makes them sound/act more like they are actively dating and not married. I guess I’m wondering why/what is it is better about visiting solo than seeing to your respective families together as a couple?

After 20 years of marriage we have spent MANY nights apart–mostly due to work-related travel, but also guys’ hunting/fishing/golf weekends or my girls’ weekends with friends. These are rarely done to escape spouses–but kids?!..:yup: Wouldn’t trade those sanity breaks and I think we each secretly enjoy solo time when the other is briefly away (nothing like having your own king bed all to yourself once in a while!)
 
JMJ01 said:
Hello everyone. I was just wondering if it is at all strange or weird for my new wife and I to go our separate ways for the weekend to be with our families? I am not talking about Thanksgiving either. We will be together for Thanksgiving and the day after. I am talking about just a plain old weekend when we decide to head back to our hometowns to be with family. .
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can’t come up with a scenario where it would be weird or wrong.

it is a matter of personal preference. and if it works for you, why is it the concern of anyone else?
 
J, If you and your wife see no problem with visiting family separately, then go right ahead and do just that. My husband and I do the same thing, btw!

Take care!
*Stella
 
My brother and his wife do this many years. It kind of bothers me that my SIL doesn’t want to see us. I don’t really feel like she’s tried to connect with us…

I think the inlaws need to bond with the families they are marrying into. So, I do think it’s better for spouses to go together. But, if you are going to be in town for the whole weekend, a few hours at the respective houses by yourselves would be fine.

Just my opinon.
 
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