Is it wrong if...

[dafalax]

We just don’t want to make her uncomfortable.

If it’s affection that shouldn’t be expressed in front of a roommate, it’s probably best reserved for after you’re married. It doesn’t matter how society has changed. Our job as Christians is to transform society, not be transformed by it.
Furthermore, i have had too many people tell me they were just innocently sleeping together and later it was discovered they weren’t being chaste at all. If i was her roommate or a friend, there’s no way i wouldn’t believe there was hanky panky going on, and you ARE responsible for what people believe when you put yourself in that sort of situation. I don’t care how many people on this post say they wouldn’t think anything about it. I think if you really thought it was okay, you wouldn’t have asked this forum in the first place.:tsktsk:

 

[az_4_faith]

If it’s affection that shouldn’t be expressed in front of a roommate, it’s probably best reserved for after you’re married. It doesn’t matter how society has changed. Our job as Christians is to transform society, not be transformed by it.
Furthermore, i have had too many people tell me they were just innocently sleeping together and later it was discovered they weren’t being chaste at all. If i was her roommate or a friend, there’s no way i wouldn’t believe there was hanky panky going on, and you ARE responsible for what people believe when you put yourself in that sort of situation. I don’t care how many people on this post say they wouldn’t think anything about it. I think if you really thought it was okay, you wouldn’t have asked this forum in the first place.:tsktsk:

Amen.

We as Catholics are called to be counter-cultural. We’re supposed to set the bar for others to follow, not fall down to where the bar has been lowered.

Please know how much your example affects others, especially those who know you are Catholic.

 

[leo123]

I do the same thing with my fiance and I would agree that the likelihood of freely choosing to engage in sexual acts is not that real.

What is real however is the possibility of doing certain actiocs you may regret if you are very sleepy e.g. have slightly woken up from sleep but largely still asleep. This is all the more true if you have had a drink (even only a little) and thus are that little bit more confused.

It has happened to me and my fiance more than once and while we never had sex we did feel the need to confess the following day.

You may not wakingly choose to sin but when you’re tired and confessed due to sleep and/or alcohol then you may do acts you regret

GB

 

[setter]

Okay, I’m going to risk sounding extremely old fashioned but . . .

So to kind of answer your question, where do we draw the line? Do we go back to the one-parent-present-in-the-parlor rule while courting? Or do we snuggle on a bed in a dorm room and wonder why anyone thinks it might be somewhat scandelous?

Problem is, we’ve gotten so permissive that young people are confused as to what is appropriate or not. Snuggling on the dorm bed, napping/cuddling together in dorm rooms may not seem harmful, but not so many years ago, it would have been unheard of! Or at least avoided.

If my daughter had asked me the OP’s question, I would have been honest with her. I’d have told her “get your boyfriend out of your dorm room”. I trust my daughter completely, but he has no business there.

I’m sorry, but I’m old fashioned.

Old fashioned and right on.

What is left for marriage, including the privilege, comfort and intimacy of snuggling? How come laying as “spoons” is now acceptable? Is not marriage preparation, or more generally preparation for adult living an exercise in self restraint and delaying gratification for a greater good, a wider mission than one’s own immediate needs? If everyone ways guided by the wisdom of the old fashioned, there would be a minuscule of the problems encountered now days by the unrestrained and self-indulgent youth.