Is It Wrong Just To Be Frienfs With Your Spouse?

[Augustine3]

It’s hard to risk rejection.
But this is what we are called to do. We are called to be Christ-like.
No matter what the cost, no matter how foolish you feel, not matter how much you feel taken advantage of, you must be ready and willing to reconcile. If that means making the first move for the 100th time, so be it.

Christ gave his all for us, while we were still sinners.

I’m just trying to provide an opportunity for her to make an effort toward our relationship. She’s a village girl, her priorities are to take of her husband’s material needs. But some how she has modernized with our children to not just take care of their material needs but emotional nurturing as well. See what I mean it doesn’t make sense…

I feel like I’ve been lied to. When we were dating we used to pray the rosary every day and talk about Christ at every opportunity. Now, she doesn’t like talking about religion and she hasn’t prayed the rosary since our honeymoon. It feels so unfair especially when you read the lives of blessed Louis and Zelie Martin who had a strong devotion to Christ. They were on the same page.

 

[HelenRose]

I’m just trying to provide an opportunity for her to make an effort toward our relationship. She’s a village girl, her priorities are to take of her husband’s material needs. But some how she has modernized with our children to not just take care of their material needs but emotional nurturing as well. See what I mean it doesn’t make sense…

I feel like I’ve been lied to. When we were dating we used to pray the rosary every day and talk about Christ at every opportunity. Now, she doesn’t like talking about religion and she hasn’t prayed the rosary since our honeymoon. It feels so unfair especially when you read the lives of blessed Louis and Zelie Martin who had a strong devotion to Christ. They were on the same page.

I would advise your not comparing your marriage to that of saints unless you want to lead the life of a saint. Saints do not compare, they do not play waiting-for-the-other-guy-to-give-in games, they do not feel sorry for themselves when they find out that their unrealistic ideals of womanhood has somehow eluded them.

And I doubt if they ever said, “It’s not fair.”

Louis and Zelie had originally planned on having a platonic marriage but a priest talked them out of it. Louis was quiet and retiring. Zelie was a successful business woman. She suffered years of extreme pain with breast cancer without sharing that with her husband. They were saints and they raised a saint but they had their problems. Saints are not perfect but their love for God overrides the problems that they carried within their hearts.

 

[Augustine3]

Can the moderator please delete this thread?

Thank you.

 

[Augustine3]

I would advise your not comparing your marriage to that of saints unless you want to lead the life of a saint. Saints do not compare, they do not play waiting-for-the-other-guy-to-give-in games, they do not feel sorry for themselves when they find out that their unrealistic ideals of womanhood has somehow eluded them.

And I doubt if they ever said, “It’s not fair.”

Louis and Zelie had originally planned on having a platonic marriage but a priest talked them out of it. Louis was quiet and retiring. Zelie was a successful business woman. She suffered years of extreme pain with breast cancer without sharing that with her husband. They were saints and they raised a saint but they had their problems. Saints are not perfect but their love for God overrides the problems that they carried within their hearts.

Thank you. I needed some humility knocked into me. At first glance I didn’t like your post, but in my heart I know it’s true and I need to let go of my pride. God bless you!

 

[HelenRose]

Thank you. I needed some humility knocked into me. At first glance I didn’t like your post, but in my heart I know it’s true and I need to let go of my pride. God bless you!

My prayers are for you and your wife. We will be married 50 years in the spring. I became a Catholic about 25 years ago. Never once did I expect my husband to follow suit. I was only grateful that he understood my decision and never held me back. Six years ago, out of the blue, he announced that he will become a Catholic. I never expected that. I never even prayed for that. It was a gift from the Holy Spirit.

Love God, Love your Children, Love your wife. Let God be the one who guides.