Is it wrong to not give our child a sibling?

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mkipp said:
We have a soon to be 4 year old daughter. My wife and I will be 35 this summer, and we are debating if we should have another child. We are regular middle class professionals, and have the space in our house. But, we always worry about the cost of a second child. Also, would it be good for our daughter to have sibling.
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Obviously I can only offer humble advice, but in addition to the benefits others have touched on, consider the medical reasons for having a sibling. God forbid your daughter should require an organ or bone marrow donation in the future, her brother or sister could be her best match. It’s no guarantee of anything, of course, but it’s something I would think about.
 
maryjk said:
Hostility? Sorry, I don’t see it.

Maybe you can explain your statement.

What do you mean “like birth control?”

Long term?

To avoid becoming pregnant?
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My understanding based on reading and listening to speakers on the subject follow these basic guidelines when utilizing NFP:

First, you should have a substantially good reason to use NFP for delaying the birth of children.

Finances are a muck.
Spacing births to recover from the last birth

well. the critera does include that Catholics are not supposed to use NFP with a birth control mentality. Almost every single example that I’ve seen would be solved by abstinence. We’re not animals, we’re son’s and daughters of God. So basically I still fail to understand any of the birth preventing methods after what I went through with a Protestant wife for 18 years. It broke my heart that she was not open to life all of the time. I assumed she was coming from a large family. It broke my heart when she got a tubaligation against my wishes. I’ve finally gotten to a point where I got past it after 8 years now. If I’m not mistaken, both parties have to agree to either abstain or to use NFP.

The offense you guys are taking is misplaced. My choice of words could have been more selective, but I’m blunt and sometimes that comes across rude. Sorry that you took it offensively. Did not mean to do that. Just remember, I’ve never used NFP and never will be able to use NFP even for health reasons because of my wife’s choices. She still has that fundamentalist personality to overcome. She’s the one that laughs at people for going through such extreme measures. She thinks its weird. We all have room to grow. I wanted to do it even though she had a tubiligation - mainly because I was still torn by my wife’s decision to have the procedure against my will, and while I was away from the hospital. She had just had our last child. If you think my feelings aren’t important, then you have room to grow too. We’ve been together for 24 years now. Our Protestant wedding was ever as real as our convalidation. I know that my marriage was considered invalid. But I didn’t believe it so in the beginning after rejecting Catholicism for what I thought it at that time. Now I know. But I still fail to understand the legitimacy of it after reading history about its development. In spite my feelings, I accept Church’s teaching on it as I do the use of NFP. I don’t understand it’s use, but I accept it.
 
OLofMtCarmel said:
My understanding based on reading and listening to speakers on the subject follow these basic guidelines when utilizing NFP:

First, you should have a substantially good reason to use NFP for delaying the birth of children.
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The Catechism says a “just” reason.
Finances are a muck.
Spacing births to recover from the last birth
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Or medical reasons.
Well. the critera does include that Catholics are not supposed to use NFP with a birth control mentality.
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Actually, no it doesn’t. A “birth control mentality” or a “contraceptive mentality” is something lay people have come up with. Neither of those statements are written in the Catechism.
Almost every single example that I’ve seen would be solved by abstinence. We’re not animals, we’re son’s and daughters of God. So basically I still fail to understand any of the birth preventing methods after what I went through with a Protestant wife for 18 years. It broke my heart that she was not open to life all of the time. I assumed she was coming from a large family. It broke my heart when she got a tubaligation against my wishes. I’ve finally gotten to a point where I got past it after 8 years now. If I’m not mistaken, both parties have to agree to either abstain or to use NFP.
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I am sorry your wife went against your wishes. It must be a very hard thing to live with.
The offense you guys are taking is misplaced. My choice of words could have been more selective, but I’m blunt and sometimes that comes across rude. Sorry that you took it offensively. Did not mean to do that. Just remember, I’ve never used NFP and never will be able to use NFP even for health reasons because of my wife’s choices. She still has that fundamentalist personality to overcome. She’s the one that laughs at people for going through such extreme measures. She thinks its weird. We all have room to grow. I wanted to do it even though she had a tubiligation - mainly because I was still torn by my wife’s decision to have the procedure against my will, and while I was away from the hospital. She had just had our last child. If you think my feelings aren’t important, then you have room to grow too. We’ve been together for 24 years now. Our Protestant wedding was ever as real as our convalidation. I know that my marriage was considered invalid. But I didn’t believe it so in the beginning after rejecting Catholicism for what I thought it at that time. Now I know.
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:confused:
But I still fail to understand the legitimacy of it after reading history about its development. In spite my feelings, I accept Church’s teaching on it as I do the use of NFP. I don’t understand it’s use, but I accept it.
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My comment was that if you haven’t met anyone that has used NFP long term, then maybe you need to get out more. In other words, met more people. 🤷

But it seems like you don’t believe anyone should use NFP, at all, and certainly not long term. Since this is not what the Church teaches, we are free to follow Church teaching, rather than your beliefs.
 
We never had a child for the enjoyment of their siblings.

We had them for our own desire to love another child, to be co-creators with God, and to increase the joy in our family.

There were years in which we delayed, and now I am sorry we did. I feel like someone is missing from our family from those years we were too selfish or too scared.

Have another baby for you, your spouse and for God! You will never regret it.
 
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