Is it wrong to tell people of my intentions to be a Nun?

[karoleck]

• Yes, that is very true!
• Thank you for your advice.
• Exactly. You’ve hit the bullseye, Fr Dominic!

Your question would have been valuable, just to have got such a great reply from Fr.La Fleur! What a wonderful spiritual insight he has give us all to ponder and pray about!

I have been thinking about your question and some thoughts have come to me. When I grew up, the college that I attended, had a boarding school ,as well as teaching day pupils.In the last year at college, all the young men who felt called to the priesthood ,lived in a house by themselves within the same campus.But that was in the “age of faith” where a call to the priestly or religious life was valued and nurtured.So there was not a problem, as regards telling their fellow students ,what they stood for.

Times have changed in the western world ,for the worst(in most places) and I would say that the biggest opposition to a person wanting to follow a priestly or a religious vocation(like yourself) would be at a "catholic"educational institute!;It is not a ‘cool’ thing to do,as far as the world is concerned ,though I know there are rare exceptions-------------------------------------
of educational institues that are run by orthodox catholics or faithful teaching orders.I was under the impression that a lot of recent vocations, came through home schooling families.

St.Don Bosco is reported to have stated that one in three young catholics have a call to the priestly or religious life(some both).But as Our Lord in the scriptures says “many are called,few are chosen.”

Now this gets back to your question–the call to follow Jesus ,in the age of faith and telling "those who should know"should be as natural as breathing.But this is unfortunately a secular age,even within catholic circles it has penetrated;so I would caution a certain prudential silence in your discernment.

I know that some posters have said that they survived these attacks on their road to the priesthood, by opening telling people that they wanted to be Priests/Nuns or Sisters in their schooling years;but I would suggest that many did not !

Remember that person who found “a treasure in the field” and how that person “sold everything” in order to purchase it–“a pearl of great price”.That person would not have told a soul until “the treasure in the field” was purchased;just in case an enemy might come and steal that treasure.“The pearl of great price” is a vocation to follow in Christ’s footsteps and we all know who the “enemy” is.

 

[auderyja]

Your question would have been valuable, just to have got such a great reply from Fr.La Fleur! What a wonderful spiritual insight he has give us all to ponder and pray about!

I have been thinking about your question and some thoughts have come to me. When I grew up, the college that I attended, had a boarding school ,as well as teaching day pupils.In the last year at college, all the young men who felt called to the priesthood ,lived in a house by themselves within the same campus.But that was in the “age of faith” where a call to the priestly or religious life was valued and nurtured.So there was not a problem, as regards telling their fellow students ,what they stood for.

Times have changed in the western world ,for the worst(in most places) and I would say that the biggest opposition to a person wanting to follow a priestly or a religious vocation(like yourself) would be at a "catholic"educational institute!;It is not a ‘cool’ thing to do,as far as the world is concerned ,though I know there are rare exceptions-------------------------------------
of educational institues that are run by orthodox catholics or faithful teaching orders.I was under the impression that a lot of recent vocations, came through home schooling families.

St.Don Bosco is reported to have stated that one in three young catholics have a call to the priestly or religious life(some both).But as Our Lord in the scriptures says “many are called,few are chosen.”

Now this gets back to your question–the call to follow Jesus ,in the age of faith and telling "those who should know"should be as natural as breathing.But this is unfortunately a secular age,even within catholic circles it has penetrated;so I would caution a certain prudential silence in your discernment.

I know that some posters have said that they survived these attacks on their road to the priesthood, by opening telling people that they wanted to be Priests/Nuns or Sisters in their schooling years;but I would suggest that many did not !

Remember that person who found “a treasure in the field” and how that person “sold everything” in order to purchase it–“a pearl of great price”.That person would not have told a soul until “the treasure in the field” was purchased;just in case an enemy might come and steal that treasure.“The pearl of great price” is a vocation to follow in Christ’s footsteps and we all know who the “enemy” is.

That is an interesting POV. Thanks for sharing.

 

[SecretGarden]

A calling such as this is special and there are never any certainties that it will happen. It is all in God’s hands. Because this type of vocation can take years to discern before selecting and entering a community, I suggest that you pray and ask for God’s guidance in this. He will show you who you can trust and who you can’t. Talk with your local priest and ask him to recommend a spiritual director for you. As the direction begins, you’ll learn who you can trust and who will pray for your vocation. The supportive friends are the ones to vocalize your idea and dream. They will help you during the initial discernment as well as the time of living it out.

It is normal to experience opposition especially from family. Sometimes the devil uses close friends and family’s negativity as a way to detour one from their true calling. Try not to pay too much attention to it, and try to stay focused on God. Remember some will never understand it. In the end, you will have to decide who you do follow: your family, friends or God. Sacrifice and following God’s will are the most the difficult things to do, but they come with the greatest gifts of all.

Good Luck,
SG

 

[TimothyH]

Thank you for all your helpful replies.

However, I do not tell EVERYONE I meet that I have the intention to become a religious sister. I only tell those that matter to me. This vocation thing is not a public parade for me.

That is good. A franciscan priest told me to be very careful about making it public. It could be a source of pride and the enemy can use that public knowledge as a weapon. He advised me to be very discreet, expecially early in the discernment process.

-Tim-

 

[karoleck]

That is good. A franciscan priest told me to be very careful about making it public. It could be a source of pride and the enemy can use that public knowledge as a weapon. He advised me to be very discreet, expecially early in the discernment process.

-Tim-

That was good advice that you got!

I once had a guy that I subcontracted to and he always used to tell everyone who cared to listen to him(I had to,as I sometimes worked with him!) He often used to talk about IF he won a lot of money and what he would do with it.He would generously employ us workers forever etc.etc.I really think that as he talked like this,he really believed that he is such a generous person!! His dream world had nothing to do with reality;as I had to stop working for him ;as he was sometimes a month over due in his agreed weekly payments.

I use this analogy to show that this can happen to those who tell people that they hope to be a priest/religious-nun or sister.If they talk often enough to people they can believe that having a vocation comes from them and not from God.A sort of a "goodie two shoes"mentality is a real danger to their vocation.It can stop them from engageing in the life they are living at the present moment.I personally do not think that this applies to the nice person who asked this question;but the danger is there all the same.

Your advice of a good spiritual director is so important ;as sometimes if the devil cannot stop a person entering religious/priestly life,the evil one can ruin a persons’ health through an excess or unbalanced fasting or even prayer life etc,and that is apart from pride or discouragement already mentioned.

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

That was good advice that you got!

I once had a guy that I subcontracted to and he always used to tell everyone who cared to listen to him(I had to,as I sometimes worked with him!) He often used to talk about IF he won a lot of money and what he would do with it.He would generously employ us workers forever etc.etc.I really think that as he talked like this,he really believed that he is such a generous person!! His dream world had nothing to do with reality;as I had to stop working for him ;as he was sometimes a month over due in his agreed weekly payments.

I use this analogy to show that this can happen to those who tell people that they hope to be a priest/religious-nun or sister.If they talk often enough to people they can believe that having a vocation comes from them and not from God.A sort of a "goodie two shoes"mentality is a real danger to their vocation.It can stop them from engageing in the life they are living at the present moment.I personally do not think that this applies to the nice person who asked this question;but the danger is there all the same.

Your advice of a good spiritual director is so important ;as sometimes if the devil cannot stop a person entering religious/priestly life,the evil one can ruin a persons’ health through an excess or unbalanced fasting or even prayer life etc,and that is apart from pride or discouragement already mentioned.

Would God protect a person called to preisthood and or religious life? or would God allow the evil one to ruin it all?? Scoob.

 

[karoleck]

Would God protect a person called to preisthood and or religious life? or would God allow the evil one to ruin it all?? Scoob.

We cannot blame God when we do not act according to the wisdom of the saints–St.Thesesa of Avila (amongst many others) insisted on a good spiritual director.

 

[auderyja]

Would God protect a person called to preisthood and or religious life? or would God allow the evil one to ruin it all?? Scoob.

You are right Scoob. As St Faustina would say: “But these doubts always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close myself up more and more within myself. When, during confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.”

We cannot blame God when we do not act according to the wisdom of the saints–St.Thesesa of Avila (amongst many others) insisted on a good spiritual director.

To your reply, I can use St Faustina’s prayer: “O Mary, my mother and my lady, I offer you my soul, my body, my life and death, and all that will follow it. I place everything in your hands. O my mother, cover my soul with your virginal mantle and grant me the grace of purity of heart, soul and body. Defend me with your power against all enemies, and especially those who hide their malice behind the mask of virtue. O lovely lily! you are for me a mirror, O my mother!”

 

[karoleck]

You are right Scoob. As St Faustina would say: “But these doubts always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close myself up more and more within myself. When, during confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.”

To your reply, I can use St Faustina’s prayer: “O Mary, my mother and my lady, I offer you my soul, my body, my life and death, and all that will follow it. I place everything in your hands. O my mother, cover my soul with your virginal mantle and grant me the grace of purity of heart, soul and body. Defend me with your power against all enemies, and especially those who hide their malice behind the mask of virtue. O lovely lily! you are for me a mirror, O my mother!”

That is a nice prayer:thumbsup:

I also could quote you plenty more!!

It has been a while since I read The Diary of St.Faustina 'though I do recall that Jesus had a hard time in pressing her to do what He(Jesus) was asking of her to do.So if Saints had such a hard time reponding to what God was asking of them–what about us sinners?

So the first point I would make is whilst we MUST pray;we must also use the ordinary human means available’such as a spiritual director.(that is presuming that you are not a saint and not a plaster model)

My next door Italian neighbour told me once a story–This guy was travelling along the highway when his tyre burst;he quickly pulled over the side of the road and got on his knees and prayed “Lord,help me please”–he did this for a half an hour.After a while a lady driving past,saw this guy praying and asked what was wrong and why was he praying.The guy said that he was praying because the car had a flat tyre and he wanted it fixed.She she said;why not just take out the jack and change the tyre.After that she just rolled up her sleeves and changed the tyre for him.(the moral of the story applying this to your question is that it is a requirement to pray (and God will always hear the cries of the poor);Our Lord also expects us to "roll up our sleeves"and not tell people about your intention to be a Sister.There is a danger to Scoobie’s approach of being too spiritual–it does not have to be either or but both appoaches are required.
.
Maybe your father read in Scriptures about the laughter of the people ;when this guy planned to build a house or the King who planned to attack an enemy ;but did not have the means to achieve the purpose ,as he never worked out the real cost of the project.

I do not mean this as an attack on your vocation desires ;I know from personal experience (apart from my spiritual reading especially the lives of saintly religious) that the devil will attack you.There is some passage in scriptures about preparing yourself for battle if you wish to serve the Lord.It is not a matter of whose Ego is wounded in this forum ;but what is the truth.We know in our heart of hearts when God speaks the truth in our souls.Your quest to service God, as a Sister is a wonderful calling,such great saints as St.Faustine will keep you strong in your discernment

 

[starsmurf]

Is there really a difference between religious sister and nun? I thought the difference lies in the “contemplative” and “semi-contemplative” ones. However, regardless of whether they are contemplative or semi-contemplative, they are still called sisters. Anyway, I am going for the Daughters of St Paul, they are a congregation of semi-contemplative sisters.

Thank you for your reply. God bless.

Nun and Religious Sister are two different catagories. As in the Daughters of St Paul you would not be under enclosure and would take simple, not solemn, vows, you would be a religious sister, not a nun.

I’m assuming that by “contemplative” and “semi-contemplative” you mean what most call the contemplative and “active” lives.

I would say be very open to what community God is calling you to. For a long time I thought I was called to the “active” life. I now find that I am discerning between two contemplative communities ! My friend who swore that she could never enter an active community did so last year, after two attempts at Carmelite life. God certainly has a sense of humour…

I will pray for you, I beg your prayers for me.

God Bless

 

[karoleck]

When my dad found out that I told other people about my intentions to become a religious sister, he was disappointed with me.

My dad thinks that if, for some reason, I am not accepted into the religious congregation, I will be humiliated. He said, “What would people think if they found out that you were not accepted as a religious sister?”

A sister once told, “No on is 100% sure of their vocation. If you don’t try, you will never find out.”

I am not worried about humiliation. Let God’s will be done.

I have brought up your original question,as I would like to approach this from a different angle.
If you forgive me for saying ,so you are rather loose in your english expression.The reason I say this is that you have asked the question" is it WRONG".The opposite question would be to ask is your father" RIGHT"!
But as you know ,this has nothing to do with a moral choice at all;so your question is rather pointless if it taken in a logical reasoning process.
What you are really asking is" Is it a wise or prudential course of action to tell people of my intentions to be a Nun"?(in your case a Sister!)-and presuming you are still discerning your vocation and have not been given a date of entry.
I would like to take some examples of Our Lord’s Life from the Scriptures where Jesus gave strick instructions to keep silence.Take The Tranfiguration for a start,where Jesus revealed His Divinity and then told Peter,James & John not to tell anyone until after the Resurrection.I could draw this out and say that this is like your
calling process,where Jesus is realling Himself to you in the silence of your heart.You go through a discerning dialogue with your chosen religious congregation or society.The time to speak is when you have been accepted within that group and you are “resurrected” into a new life in Christ–putting off your old self and putting on the new life consecrated to God(that is what a religious habit signifies).–trusting that you would be joining a religious society that wear their habits(with veils)–NUNS always wear veils!–not just some stupid badge, attached to lay clothing!

God Bless!

 

[Pippi_13]

I knew I wanted to be a nun by age 14. Unfortunately, I didn’t dare tell my family because I knew I would face ridicule, accusations of not being “good enough”, etc etc the list goes on.

I couldn’t bear the thought of having that yearning in my heart & soul destroyed, hence I told no one. This prevented me from finding out the practical stuff - like how to actually go about becoming a nun.

There was no one I could trust. Even attending Catholic school! (Someone would have informed my parents.)

There are a few things I’ve learned from this:

It IS possible for a person of 14 or 15 to know he / she is being called to the vocations.
Adults will almost always assume it’s a “phase” we’ll outgrow.
A young person considering a vocation MUST find a trusted & confidential spiritual adviser.

These are just my opinions, of course, but they are opinions born of experience.

I only wish that young people with true hearts would be encouraged to at least “give it a try” as a previous poster said. Perhaps then, the world wouldn’t be lamenting our current “shortage” of priests & nuns!