Is life more or less difficult for young adults in today's world? Lonely

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Do you think that it is harder to be a teen or young adult today than it was in the past?

By this, I mean in terms of loneliness, social interaction, living as a devout Catholic, etc.

I know many people will have varying opinions on this. I can see both sides. On the one hand, yes, young adults do seem lazier than in past generations; they live at home longer, many don’t want to work, spend way too much time devoting their lives to technology, etc.

However, I can say that it does seem a lot more lonely for them than it was for past generations. In the past, it was a goal to get married, have a family, etc. Today, as a young woman, it is very difficult to find any guys who want to pursue an actual relationship that could lead to marriage, it is difficult to make real friends; everyone so invested in social media and hardly any actual person to person contact and conversation; it is a lonely world.

I realize that in the past people were probably lonely a lot as well, but (in my opinion) it seems that it was not on the same scale as today.

For example, my parents and grandparents and most other people I know their age have been with their spouse since highschool, had kids, got married, etc. Based on my experience and on the people I know who are my age (young adult) it is not like that anymore, at all.

By my parent’s perspective, they’re giving me a good life, raised me well, I’m in college and will get a good job, and so to them I’m doing great but to me, and I don’t talk about this, but to me, I feel like I have nothing. I am so, so grateful to my parents for providing me with such a good start but I feel like I have no one outside of them and I feel so alone. They do not know what it is like to not have a spouse/significant other. They have had eachother their whole lives. I have no one. Yes, I have my family but I crave a family of my own, and in my heart I feel like I will never have that and it makes me feel, well, worthless or like I have no purpose.

I know, you don’t need a spouse or children for your life to have meaning and for God to love you, but in my heart it just feels like the opposite. I feel like nothing without it. I think many other people my age feel like they are in the same boat; not to mention it is even more difficult to try and live a devout Catholic life and search for people who share the same values.

I feel completely alone, all of the time, because of this. My parents wouldn’t understand this – to them I have everything and I understand why they would feel that way but at the same time I think it is normal for me to desire these things and to feel like I need them; after all, they are parents and have the things I desire (eachother, childlren, etc).

I feel selfish for thinking this way but I am being honest and just want to write how I feel.

What are your opinions? Any advice? I’d appreciate it.

Thank you & God bless.
 
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I suppose this is the first set of young people to experience a world that is so technologically invested, so in many ways it is entirely new and confusing as to how to deal with it.

I don’t think anyone is doing a very good job living with it.

Never before has the world experienced technology in this way; smartphones, social media, etc. and this seems to have caused a huge shift in morals, goals, social interaction, and such. It has created a “loneliness epidemic” according to many sources; I don’t know if this is real, or if we’re all just overreacting to our feelings of loneliness.

I do know that if it was possible I would’ve preferred to grow up in a previous time.
 
Its very hard to resist temptations especially with technology now. Although there are a few upsides now as well to be optimistic, We are able to communicate with fellow Catholics much faster.

We as well have access to many many resources and videos regarding the Church. The Laudate app itself have so much resources too. Its easier to keep those who are abusing children in check with people being much more aware within the diocese.

Lots and lots of downsides, but many upsides we got to take advantage of to keep afloat with Jesus.
 
Sorry if this is taken from my perspective too much.

Hey I’m a 23. I think young adults are lonely and depressed these days. I think a lot of it is because quality of life is worst for gen X and Y(millennials). As for social media, I think it’s a problem for a lot of people. Instagram is one of the worst (I do use it, not as often).

As for marriage and real relationship, I do want that. I just don’t feel worthy for that.
Most ladies seems to like ambitious guys.

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TLDR
You’re not the only one feeling that way
 
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I think, in terms of loneliness and meaning, it is harder for young adults today.

For one thing, a lot of people are afraid of commitment because of how often marriages fail. Heck, some guys are even afraid of more casual interactions with women out of fear of being accused of something.

People are also spending more and more time in school and that puts off starting your life. Often, people don’t really care about what they are studying: they just pursued higher ed because it is expected that everyone goes to college and never got a chance to truly evaluate all their options. Then they graduate and find that they need to pursue additional training to even find a job.

We have so many options available to use, but, with very little guidance. We were told from the day we are born that we can become anything we want. But, a lot of parents raise their kids in a very hands-off way and don’t really do much to foster their natural inclinations and talents. Plenty of parents even refuse to really impart any sort of religion or system of values on their children, thinking its better that they decide on their own. This leads to young people to have to piece together a direction for themselves using what society and their peers who have just as much experience as they have tell them. All this leads to a lot of meandering and mistakes that could have been avoided if someone had just bothered to impart on them the wisdom of the ages.

I do not know how to neatly end this. These are just late-night thoughts from a lonely pharmacy student who leads a hamster wheel existence. I want a man in my life. I want to be able to spend time with my friends. But, my schedule does not allow for that. But, worst of all, nobody in charge cares. My professors leave their work at work and go home to their spouses and kids while work never stops following my peers and I. There is no set-hour work week. You do what the program demands of you. It will take as much of your life as it pleases. And it has been that way since freshmen year of high school. If I ever do become a pharmacist, I will be working less hours a week and more time for myself than I did when I was a MINOR.
 
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I think people today growing up have access to knowledge and wisdom that would have made people from the past green with envy.

BUT there is such a cacophony of voices and opinions from every direction that people can’t make heads from tails of a lot of stuff. I think C.S. Lewis was very right when he talked about in the Screwtape Letters that the goal of tempters is to create “noise, noise noise”. The more noise, the better.
 
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I feel you. I hope things brighten up for you & your situation… I’ll pray for you.

Your “hamster wheel” reference; that’s a good way to describe how it feels sometimes. Just running in circles. Feeling so busy & stressed yet like the things occupying our time are almost meaningless.
 
Exactly.

Kind of reminds me of the Garden of Eden; the tree of knowledge seemed so attractive but hey, in a way with the internet we have access to that “tree” and it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It ruined our world, it brought us more knowledge, yes, but knowledge we perhaps did not need.
 
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redbetta said:
These are just late-night thoughts from a lonely pharmacy student who leads a hamster wheel existence. I want a man in my life. I want to be able to spend time with my friends. But, my schedule does not allow for that. But, worst of all, nobody in charge cares. My professors leave their work at work and go home to their spouses and kids while work never stops following my peers and I. There is no set-hour work week. You do what the program demands of you. It will take as much of your life as it pleases.
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That’s grad school for your! (I assume grad school) That was my experience too. It’s that way in many fields. It does get better when you finish…eventually. 🧐 🤓

I prayed for you!

PS…As I’ve really gotten to know professors, sometimes their lives aren’t that great either. In general higher education has many problems it didn’t have 1 or 2 decades ago.
 
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But still, there needs to be some rules regarding how many hours of classes and coursework can be assigned per week. Students are also customers: we shouldn’t constantly be being kicked in the face while handing over tens of thousands of dollars to the folks doing it to us.
 
You have made some good observations, catholic-heart. I would say you are right on schedule in terms of your development. It’s very normal to notice a lack of meaning at college. Things improve once you get your first job and can give back to society. It’s very normal to want your own family too. Be patient while still working on that goal. Enjoy your freedom now with travel and such.
 
Oh I know…I remember once staying up until 3am to do literature search assignment. The prof assigned all the students in the class to do literature search in the prof’s field. It wasn’t part of a project or anything. I already knew how to do a literature search. All the students in the class did else they wouldn’t have been there. It was a complete waste of time.

I have countless stories like this.

You do get to evaluate the prof at the end of the class, right?
 
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Yeah, but, the evaluations said only positive or constructive criticism, so it is kind of hard to decide how honest you can be before you can get in trouble.

The only really hard control on what a professor does at my college of pharmacy is that they will get in trouble if they fail more than 5% of a class per quarter.
 
This is the result of growing up and becoming adults in a culture which is determined to remake humanity in the image which supports their power
 
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Hello Catholic-heart :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Though I admit I can’t advise you on being a young devout catholic these days, I am in my 20s. You sound like you may be lonely for a few reasons. This is totally normal, especially when your life has changed so much in not much time. Love will come, but you’d be best off concentrating on yourself first. Have you joined any clubs locally? Is there anything you’re particularly interested in? I had counselling whilst at university, and honestly can’t recommend it enough. Maybe talking to a professional will help you find where your feelings are coming from?
 
I am not sure young people are any more lonely than they were 50 years ago, or 20 years ago. Loneliness is something people have and will always feel. It may be that people are more aware now of what everyone else is up to, and comparing themselves.

There is a hint of people wanting it to be true that their lives are more lonely or difficult, and I find it interesting that people in their 20s are speaking as if they have anything to compare their experience with. I would not try to compare my experiences with my parents time. I will only say that in all times, there are challenges and difficulties. It is of no use to compare.

The question should be more on how to connect, and not how much worse off things are in this age, if in fact they even are. And I am sorry, but I am not convinced.
 
I wouldn’t want to be young today but then again I wouldn’t want to be young when my nan was young.
 
I think being young at any age is difficult. 100 years ago, you probably would have been married and have a couple of children already, and having to work extremely hard to get the housework (washing all those diapers!) done while caring for the children.

It has not been that long in terms of society that women have worked outside the home in jobs that required so much preparation. As a result, marriage has indeed been delayed, and I think a big problem for young people nowadays is that we have not yet really integrated that as a period of our lives so that we have a good idea of what to do during it.

After I married and returned to the Church, I felt I had wasted the opportunities I had had as a single person and just drifted until I entered the next phase of my life.

I think a structure will develop for that time of life, but in the meantime, I do think a difficulty of this time for young people is to know how to handle this time.

I would also like to add that feeling lonely can be a part of every situation. There are probably people in your studies who are not feeling lonely, and there are lots of married people who feel lonely.

Learning what to do with that would be a good thing to work on now, so that you will have the skills for when you marry. Your family ought not to be expected to keep you from feeling lonely. It’s too much for one person (the spouse) and not the job of the children.

Evaluate precisely what you feel is lacking, and then see how you can fill that need within your current circumstances. Some people think they should not feel lonely because they keep in touch with people ocer social media, but IRL meetings are also necessary 🙂 Some people go to lots of parties and still feel lonely and they need to spend more time with friends in smaller groups.
 
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