Is lust a sin that needs to be confessed?

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Franny1st

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I am in a celebate very loving relationship with a man but he is carrying some guilt. He says he is guilty of the sin of lust when we are together in an intimate loving manner. We are not yet at the marrying stage so I am wondering “Is it a sin” and “What is the bets way to handle this?”
 
What does a celibate relationship mean? Is it that you do not want to have sex before marriage? If you are in a relationship with somebody who is married or who has a partner, girlfriend or boyfriend and it is behind somebody’s back then it is a sin, or if you are married yourself or already in a relationship. If you are in a normal relationship then it is normal for you to be sexually attracted towards each other and this means that you might make a good couple. If you want to marry somebody then you also have to feel sexually attracted towards them as you need to have a good relationship in the bedroom. If you’re getting sexually frustrated and the relationship is serious then consider getting married if you’re worried about having a sexual relationship before marriage.
 
Being together in an intimate manner is not for unmarried people. Avoid being alone together, go to Confession and try harder next time!
 
I think it’s sort of simple. If you two have been “intimate” (by that I mean making love) then, yes, you need to confess to a priest if you two are not married.

If however, he just “lusts” after you without acting on the feelings, then he is just being a normal man, and shouldn’t have to confess.
 
Lust is indeed a sin, a grave sin and if all three conditions are met (grave matter, fully knowledge and complete consent), it is a mortal sin. Willfully entertaining impure thoughts or desires (even if they are not acted upon) is a grave sin and would constitute lust. I would recommend going to a priest for confession asap. He should be able to give good advice on the matter.
 
I’d say it crosses the line if those feelings he has are selfish in nature - wanting to ‘use’ the other person in a manner that is self-gratifying. OTOH, if one partner is feeling desire toward a full and complete union with the other (as a manifestation of self-giving love) then that’s a different story as it’s the way we were made and in the context of marriage is a very healthy thing indeed.

Without having more details it’s hard to comment beyond generalizations. If in doubt, he should talk to his pastor. Likewise, if you are the occasion of sin for him it might be best to cool things off for a while until he gets things sorted out.
 
We are not making love or having sex. When I say a celibate relationship that is what I meant. We do love each other, I think it is as strong and mutual for both of us, but it is new also. We’ve been seeing each other for only a few months so marriage has not come up yet. Neither of us are married to anyone else either, so there is no sin there.
I just don’t want him to feel he has made a bad mistake by having these feelings. We are pretty crazy about each other and have committed to each other for now.
Do I worry too much?
 
I’m no use because I failed in that department but I’ve only had one relationship to the man I’m married to. If you’re both committed to abstinence it might work but try to go out for dates rather than stay at home and avoid the bedroom as my mum would have told me. Good luck. Two years is too long to wait if you feel that strongly about each other.
 
Franny1st said:
I am in a celebate very loving relationship with a man but he is carrying some guilt. He says he is guilty of the sin of lust when we are together in an intimate loving manner. We are not yet at the marrying stage so I am wondering “Is it a sin” and “What is the bets way to handle this?”
Click to expand...
(my bold)

I understand you’re not married, and you’re not having sex, so what exactly is and “intimate loving manner”? (not expecting an answer on here - just for reflection)
If whatever you’re doing includes engaging in activity that usually leads to sexual relations or just to the point where one or both of you are tempted to lust, then yeah, I’d say you should probably confess it.

Honestly, you said this is so new, and then you said you’re pretty crazy about each other - sounds like both of you just need to relax for a bit. I’m not try’n to be Debbie-Downer or anything, just enjoy it and take it slooooow. Stick to hanging out together in wide open public places, perferably in the daytime…lol…stop at hand-holding if the temptation is too great. 😃 I love a good love story, so keep praying for each other and keep us posted! 😃
 
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