Is making marriage a life dream bad?

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TheMarriedKnight

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My life goal is to have a wife and children. Is that a sin? I know God comes first in everything and God is first in my life. I just want to make sure I’m not disrespecting God.
 
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I’m just wondering if marriage being my life dream is putting it in front of God?
 
A phrase I’ve often heard is that sin is when you make a good a god. As long as you keep your goal of a marital vocation centered around building a family that is devoted to Christ, it’s not a sin. There’s nothing wrong with desiring good things.
 
I know the married life is my vocation. I know God’s will is for me to have a wife and children. I’m just asking if there is something we Christians that are called to marriage should put as a goal in life before getting married or is God fine with us making having a spouse and children the number one goal in our life?
 
You should primarily be open to God’s will, wherever He wants you to be. You sound like you know “definitely” that marriage is your vocation–and it may be–but remember that God’s will is not always our will.
 
That’s the answer that my heart has been feeling is right. If I desire to use my marriage as the primary way to serve God, then it’s not something I’m placing in front of Him, it’s something I desire and want use to please Him.
 
There are ways to know what you called without a doubt. If a heart desires a vocation and God does not have pulls towards other vocations and you have spoken to God that what you desire and He lets you know He won’t force you to be in the the the vocation you don’t want be in. Then you’re fine.
 
Heaven is our number one goal.

Marriage, children, job, lifestyle, those all come AFTER heaven.
 
Do a morning offering every day and offer all of your pain, sorrow and suffering with Christ for the conversion of sinners and peace in this world. Take care of those things that are yours to take care of.

Pray for your future wife every day that God keep her safe, help with make good decisions, and guide her in holiness. As you can guess, there is an enemy who does not want holy Catholic marriages so know she will be tempted to be pulled off the rails. There have been many Catholics who decide to marry unbelievers so even if you are ready to step into your vocation, she may very well be distracted with a boyfriend who has no belief in God at all. I have friends who have always wanted a Catholic spouse and family and never married. All I can say is that those people that God had in mind made other choices. We’ll only know God’s over all plan at the end of time.
 
What if you decide to use marriage as something to help you and your spouse to get to heaven? As it was intended to in addition to having a life partner and children.
 
It sounds somewhat like you just want your opinion confirmed on this thread. If the right woman comes along and you feel called to marry, so be it. But what if the right person doesn’t come along? It happens. Again, be open to the will of God as it can sometimes be surprising.
 
If and when you do get married it is a sacrament. It still means you put God first, your spouse second.
 
If God wasn’t in favor of marriage, then he would have made Mary a single mom.

The only way you could put marriage ahead of God would be if you willfully chose to commit sin because marriage itself, your spouse, or the person you wanted for a spouse caused you to sin. Like if a woman said, “I’m not marrying a Catholic, I’ll marry you only if you quit all this churchgoing and praying stuff”, and you said okay just because you wanted to marry her so badly, or if your wife wanted you to embezzle money or use drugs with her and you said okay because you were worried she’d leave you, then you’d be putting marriage ahead of God.

Otherwise if you’re just trying to do your best as a spouse, it’s not a problem. I’ve heard more than one priest say that loving your spouse is a way of loving God.
 
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TheMarriedKnight said:
My life goal is to have a wife and children. Is that a sin? I know God comes first in everything and God is first in my life. I just want to make sure I’m not disrespecting God.
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I knew a man who said he always intended to marry and have a big family. He eventually had a girlfriend, someone he thought would make a wonderful wife and mother. Well, he got a call to the priesthood. His reply? Lord, if you want me to go to seminary, you’ll have to do something about her, because I wouldn’t want to marry anyone else. What did she do? She joined a convent. He said, Well, that was my sign. Of course, in the end she didn’t stay, but that was my sign.

He said that he felt as if he was a father in his parish, that the children he had baptized were his children, too, and he felt as if the dreams he had as a young man were totally fulfilled and then some, beyond his imagining. (Yes: He was my pastor, our family was in his family, and I was one of those kids!) He also told me once that if God came out and told us what our life had in store from the very beginning, we probably wouldn’t have the courage to follow. It is good for us that it only unfolds a little at a time.

That is not the only priest I know who had once assumed that he’d marry and have a family. Some always knew they wanted to be a priest, but a lot had no intention whatsoever to be a priest. A lot of us are surprised by the directions our lives took by the end, not just the priests!

Don’t be afraid to have dreams. Just be ready to do what God asks you to do. You’ll do fine.
 
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Well, I’m not assuming that I’m called to the married life. I know that the married life is my vocation and God has confirmed that He doesn’t want to take me out my married life. I use to be afraid that God would take away my vocation of marriage from me and make me be in the priesthood or religious life and I would beg Him not do so until He answered me and told me that He knows the desires of my heart before I do, and I do not need to ask him to let me marry and not force me to be in the priesthood/religious life because He knows that’s what I want already.
 
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