C
ConfusedinSC
Guest
I know there are other threads on this question, but none of them help me understand why it is a sin. Most people say that anything that causes sexual arousal outside of marriage is a sin. My question is how do you know this?
I know you don’t just draw the line at sex and everything else goes. There are other things that you shouldn’t do and things you shouldn’t touch when you are with a boyfriend/girlfriend. My boyfriend don’t do any of those things, but we still passionately kiss (make out). We don’t let things get too intense, and the main reason we do it isn’t just because it feels good, but because it brings us closer together and helps us show our love for each other. We’ve been dating for two years. Recently I’ve wondered if this is wrong too, because it can be sexually arousing. I can’t find a clear answer in the catechism though. Maybe I’m just interpreting it how I wish to interpret it…
What I’ve found is that besides sex, anything dealing with lust is wrong.
“Lust in an INORDINATE enjoyment of sexual pleasure”. Inordinate means excessive. To me this sounds like I’m doing the right thing, and that we should just make sure not to get too intense.
“Sexual Pleasure is morally disordered when SOUGHT FOR ITSELF”. Does this mean its okay as long as you’re not only doing if for pleasure? As long as it’s out of love?
In the U.S. Catholic Catechism for Adults it makes comments after stating the doctrines, and when talking about lust it says “The woman’s body ceases to reveal her as a person to be loved, but rather as an object to be used”. I interpret this to mean it is only lust if you are just using the person and there is no love.
It then says “Women should resist a sexual advance from a man that is MERELY lustful”. That sounds like some things are okay as long as they are out of love.
When discussing modesty, the catechism reads "Modesty encourages patience and MODERATION in loving relationships.
Something that seems contradictory to all of this is when it says “the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside of marriage is contrary to its purpose”. The only thing I can think of is that by “sexual faculty” they mean actual sexual organs, and to not mess with that.
So my understanding is that sex outside of marriage is wrong, along with oral sex and things of that nature. We shouldn’t “mess with what we don’t got”. “Making out” or passionately kissing would not be sinful with my boyfriend as long as our main reason is to express our love, and as long as we are honest with ourself and stop if we get too intense, so that we aren’t just using each other. And sexual arousal in this case would not be wrong.
Am I misguided in this? Should we refrain from any type of kissing that would be sexually arousing? If so, is that just a good guideline to help people avoid sin, or is it an official doctrine of the church?
Please help me clear this up!
I know you don’t just draw the line at sex and everything else goes. There are other things that you shouldn’t do and things you shouldn’t touch when you are with a boyfriend/girlfriend. My boyfriend don’t do any of those things, but we still passionately kiss (make out). We don’t let things get too intense, and the main reason we do it isn’t just because it feels good, but because it brings us closer together and helps us show our love for each other. We’ve been dating for two years. Recently I’ve wondered if this is wrong too, because it can be sexually arousing. I can’t find a clear answer in the catechism though. Maybe I’m just interpreting it how I wish to interpret it…
What I’ve found is that besides sex, anything dealing with lust is wrong.
“Lust in an INORDINATE enjoyment of sexual pleasure”. Inordinate means excessive. To me this sounds like I’m doing the right thing, and that we should just make sure not to get too intense.
“Sexual Pleasure is morally disordered when SOUGHT FOR ITSELF”. Does this mean its okay as long as you’re not only doing if for pleasure? As long as it’s out of love?
In the U.S. Catholic Catechism for Adults it makes comments after stating the doctrines, and when talking about lust it says “The woman’s body ceases to reveal her as a person to be loved, but rather as an object to be used”. I interpret this to mean it is only lust if you are just using the person and there is no love.
It then says “Women should resist a sexual advance from a man that is MERELY lustful”. That sounds like some things are okay as long as they are out of love.
When discussing modesty, the catechism reads "Modesty encourages patience and MODERATION in loving relationships.
Something that seems contradictory to all of this is when it says “the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside of marriage is contrary to its purpose”. The only thing I can think of is that by “sexual faculty” they mean actual sexual organs, and to not mess with that.
So my understanding is that sex outside of marriage is wrong, along with oral sex and things of that nature. We shouldn’t “mess with what we don’t got”. “Making out” or passionately kissing would not be sinful with my boyfriend as long as our main reason is to express our love, and as long as we are honest with ourself and stop if we get too intense, so that we aren’t just using each other. And sexual arousal in this case would not be wrong.
Am I misguided in this? Should we refrain from any type of kissing that would be sexually arousing? If so, is that just a good guideline to help people avoid sin, or is it an official doctrine of the church?
Please help me clear this up!