Is selfishness a sin?

[MamaGeek]

Reading through the breastfeeding thread, I came upon this question, upon which there was much disagreement:

Is selfishness a sin?

How many times have you come home from work/school/grocery shopping/whatever, totally beat, and put off some household chore to relax and unwind? Is this selfish? Is it sinful?

A family is just getting by, living in a small house in a crowded neighborhood with few amenities. They have one beat-up old car, and are often frustrated trying to schedule their activities around its availability to one parent or the other. Is it selfish for a SAHP to go back to work for a while to save up for a second used car to ease some of the scheduling problems, even if he or she is less available to the kids for a while? Is it sinful?

Is it selfish to write a Christmas list? Is it selfish to do something fun, like playing a game, or watching a movie, when you could be spending the time in prayer? Is it a sin to selfishly hide the last of the girl scout cookies in the back of the pantry to save them from your kids/siblings/spouse?

Where do you draw the line?

I think the examples I posed clearly demonstrate that selfishness, or thinking of one’s own desires first, is not always inherently wrong or sinful. Granted, selfishness is often a motivation for sin, but I think that while it is virtuous to be selfless, it is not necessarily always sinful to be selfish.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

MamaGeek:

I think that while it is virtuous to be selfless, it is not necessarily always sinful to be selfish.

I think you are right. But I hope someone will dig up a quote from the CCC or something to help make the issue clear.

My thoughts are that selfishness can lead to sin.

But, by selfishness, I mean putting ones own needs above anothers to the detriment of the other.

Take your example of spending time doing something fun when you could be spending time in prayer. I think that can become sinful if the activity takes the place of prayer.

We are not required to spend every waking moment in prayer…just as you would not want your children to spend every waking moment thanking you for food, clothing, shelter, and love. But it is nice to hear it regularily. You want your children to also enjoy life and have fun experiences.

Take your example of the cookies (lol). If you hide them for yourself and nobody knows that you did this and they just assume they are all gone, where is the harm? It may be selfish, but not sinful.

I think selfishness is a matter of the heart. No other person can know what’s in another’s heart. They can judge on appearances, but they simply can’t know.

Malia

 

[paulCT]

CCC 1852 There are a great many kinds of sins. Scripture provides several lists of them. The Letter to the Galatians contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit: “Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.”

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s1c1a8.htm

God loves us deeply and only He can satisfy our desire for love. Because He loves us so, we are duty bound to love Him above all else, and He commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Love of God and neighbor requires that we live a chaste life. Chastity is the spiritual power or virtue, which frees love from selfishness. Living chastely helps us to have inner peace. Chastity enables us to think purely and act purely. Living chastely enables us to respect others and ourselves. It helps us to be holy. In family life, chastity builds an atmosphere of respect, virtue, sacrifice, and love.

I hope this helps.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Honestly I think we need to define selfishness…especially how it is meant in the above CCC quote. I doubt that it would be reffering to hiding a few cookies for yourself…

Malia

 

[Joe_Kelley]

I once heard a priest who responded -

“Is there any other?”

I think he had a good point. All sin is placing my wants above my love for God.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Joe Kelley:

All sin is placing my wants above my love for God.

Exactly. So we need to define what kind of selfishness would place our own wants before our love for God. Every tiny act? Acts that hurt others? Acts that have potential to hurt others?

I think there is a mistaken view of what selfishness is. Mothers especially, I think, suffer from this. They feel guilt for wanting to have a nice warm bath when they could be spending even more time with their child.

Is there something that defines selfishness as related to our faith?

Malia

 

[paulCT]

I haven’t been able to find a clear definition of selfishness based on Church teaching. I took selfish to mean “always intent on satisfying his own whims.”

I think there is a mistaken view of what selfishness is. Mothers especially, I think, suffer from this. They feel guilt for wanting to have a nice warm bath when they could be spending even more time with their child.

I wouldn’t consider it selfish if a mother want a nice warm bath instead of spending more time with their child. I would call that a Mental Health Break. Seriously, we all need downtime to recharge our batteries.

I think you need to look at each circumstance by according to the virtues they oppose or by excess; or according to the commandments they violate.

For example, let’s say my neighbor comes to me for help with his yard work. If I say no, is that being selfish? What if my neighbor was elderly, or sick and weak from cancer treatment? Does that change the degree of selfishness and make it more of a sin?

My wife asks me to help carry in groceries, and I decide to sit and watch the game on TV. Is this act of selfishness as just as sinful compared to putting my desires and wants before my family’s needs?

A person commits suicide. Is this being selfish? In my opinion, this is the ultimate act of selfishness.

Let’s go back to the original question: is selfishness a sin? According to the Catholic Encyclopedia: “Sin is nothing else than a morally bad act (St. Thomas, “De malo”, 7:3), an act not in accord with reason informed by the Divine law.” I would still say it depends on each circumstance.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

So it would seem that some things generally defined as selfishness are really not.

“Sin is nothing more than a morally bad act”

This would be helpful to first determine if we are being selfish…if we are then we are sinning.

So if we are truly being selfish then we are indeed sinning.

Do I have this right?

Malia

 

[paulCT]

Do I have this right?

That’s a tough question. Since we have free will (or moral liberty), we can choose to be selfish or not.

Let’s look at another example. It’s a beautiful Saturday afternnoon, and I want to lie in my hammock, catch up on some reading, and maybe take a nap.

My elderly neighbor can’t drive and needs some groceries from the store. She calls and asks if I can take her out.

Do I have a right to turn her down? No. Why? Jesus says we are to imitate Him as closely as possible. We are also told to love our neighbors as much as ourselves. But most importantly, whatever we do unto the least of the one, we do unto Jesus.

BUT, I could choose to be selfish and put myself before my neighbor’s needs. Why would I want to go grocery shopping when I can stay home and enjoy a beautiful afternoon after a long week at work? What could she possible need today that can’t wait until her daughter takes her shopping next week?

When I find myself in these situations, I’ve learned to humble myself by putting myself in the other person’s shoes. Instead of being selfish, I accept it without complaint and offer to Jesus.

 

[paramedicgirl]

MamaGeek:

Reading through the breastfeeding thread, I came upon this question, upon which there was much disagreement:

Is selfishness a sin?

How many times have you come home from work/school/grocery shopping/whatever, totally beat, and put off some household chore to relax and unwind? Is this selfish? Is it sinful?

A family is just getting by, living in a small house in a crowded neighborhood with few amenities. They have one beat-up old car, and are often frustrated trying to schedule their activities around its availability to one parent or the other. Is it selfish for a SAHP to go back to work for a while to save up for a second used car to ease some of the scheduling problems, even if he or she is less available to the kids for a while? Is it sinful?

Is it selfish to write a Christmas list? Is it selfish to do something fun, like playing a game, or watching a movie, when you could be spending the time in prayer? Is it a sin to selfishly hide the last of the girl scout cookies in the back of the pantry to save them from your kids/siblings/spouse?

Where do you draw the line?

I think the examples I posed clearly demonstrate that selfishness, or thinking of one’s own desires first, is not always inherently wrong or sinful. Granted, selfishness is often a motivation for sin, but I think that while it is virtuous to be selfless, it is not necessarily always sinful to be selfish.

I believe that selfishness is a sin against charity. It does not sound like you are describing selfishness, though. It sounds more like frustration. Selfishness would be when you are putting your own needs above others’, but I don’t see that in your post.
And, BTW, I always hide the cookies!