Is Sexual Arousal Always Sinful?

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When spending time with or thinking about my girl friend, I find myself (at times) experiencing sexual arousal. At times, this includes a slight erection. I don’t want to encourage the arousal, but spending time with her tends to be the trigger. Is it immoral to be near this temptation? Is this feeling immoral in general? I take great care to avoid impure thoughts when I am thusly aroused (or at any time in general), but even so, am I experiencing inapropriate amounts of sexual pleasure by spending time with her?

I suppose that if the intention of dating is marriage, then arousal might be important (inasmuch as helping you to realize that you find this person sexually attractive)… But I would very much appreciate the Catholic stand in what context that arousal should exist.

Thank you in advance. 👍
 
Sounds to me that your intentions are in the right place even though nature occurs. If you didn’t have any of those feelings you wouldn’t be human. Just utilize self control, as you mentioned, and I don’t think that any sin is committed. If mere sexual arousal was always sinful then we all would be in a world of hurt. Just don’t pursue or continue to entertain those feelings and you’re o.k… Now that’s my opinion…God Bless 🙂
 
I agree with the previous poster. It’s only human to have sexual desire towards members of the opposite sex. But it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. I also agree with what you said about the sexual arousal being important if you intend on marrying. Sexual attraction is a very important thing in marriage, in my opinion. Just stay strong, don’t give into the urges and you’ll be fine!!! Good luck to you and your girlfriend!!🙂
 
Would “spending time with her” be a euphemism for something?

If you find that simply being in her presence arouses you, I would encourage you to reflect on what it is you’re thinking when you think of her. Do you simply think about how pretty she is? Do you think about HER?

I would encourage you to focus on her entire person, her body and soul, and realize that every moment does not have to be a opportunity for a “sexual encounter.” (I am not saying that you do think this.)

It also depends on how old you are. For younger men, anything acts as a trigger. But for older men, this concern you have would be quite legitimate.

Spend some time in prayer with her and get to know her more. Develop your relationship in regards to your emotional and spiritual intimacy and see how things progress from there.

Arousal properly occurs within physical intimacy. Arousal outside of physical intimacy isn’t wrong, but simply a distraction from it’s proper context.
 
Are you’re being over tactile when you’re close to her? If so, then keep a little distance and things might become easier in the arousal department. Don’t forget that even holding hands can be a stimulant to sexual arousal. Ask the Lord for guidance.

Hmm… but it is also important that you don’t give out the wrong signals and she ends up thinking that you’re losing interest in her. More prayer needed!
 
When spending time with or thinking about my girl friend, I find myself (at times) experiencing sexual arousal. At times, this includes a slight erection. I don’t want to encourage the arousal, but spending time with her tends to be the trigger. Is it immoral to be near this temptation? Is this feeling immoral in general? I take great care to avoid impure thoughts when I am thusly aroused (or at any time in general), but even so, am I experiencing inapropriate amounts of sexual pleasure by spending time with her?

I suppose that if the intention of dating is marriage, then arousal might be important (inasmuch as helping you to realize that you find this person sexually attractive)… But I would very much appreciate the Catholic stand in what context that arousal should exist.

Thank you in advance. 👍
Your sexual attraction is a gift from God. When you notice your arousal, say a prayer thanking God for the gift of sexuality and ask Him to give you the grace to use this gift as He intended…not for lust…but rather to fulfill His pro creative and unitive plan. You will have better success combating lust if you accept that desire is normal. You don’t need to repress the natural response, but rather redeem it. It could be as easy as creating a mantra such as “I’m aroused because I am a creation of God and one day I will share myself in a total, faithful, and fruitful way with my wife.”

Also, congratulations on your awareness of this issue. Many a young man would respond in less pure way.
 
Well young man, you deserve to be commended. You’ve gotten some real good advice in this thread. This is a link to a page of the directory for the Catechism. Click the link and scroll down to “sexuality”. There’s a lot to help there. The main thing is stay strong. Remember to treat the young lady as you would want another young man to treat your future wife. Who knows, she may or may not be the one for you…and then, maybe you have an even higher calling? :signofcross:

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/index/s.htm

2333 Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity, needs, and mutual support between the sexes are lived out.

2339 Chastity includes an **apprenticeship in self-mastery **which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.126 "Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end."127
 
Feeling for you. Always had a problem with that. Rational arguments are a whole different world when it just gets to you in real life. As a rule, I don’t entertain any thoughts of anything sexual and I try to change the focus from PDA onto something else discreetly as soon as possible, and start praying in my mind. This is moot as of now, as I’m single again and this time I’ll be going for a Catholic girl, if at all, I think, so it should be easier.
 
Feeling for you. Always had a problem with that. Rational arguments are a whole different world when it just gets to you in real life. As a rule, I don’t entertain any thoughts of anything sexual and I try to change the focus from PDA onto something else discreetly as soon as possible, and start praying in my mind. This is moot as of now, as I’m single again and this time I’ll be going for a Catholic girl, if at all, I think, so it should be easier.
I don’t know if I can agree with this premise. The idea of not entertaining thoughts of anything sexual sounds a lot like you may be repressing what is completely natural for human nature. We should never push our sexual desires away. We should however allow them entry into our mind where they can be guided by reason. Through guidance by reason our sexual desires learn to obey the rational mind and therfore you have control over them. By pushing them away they are still active in the unconscious where they can have control over us in unforseen ways.

I agree with the poster above - StCsDavid when he said:
Your sexual attraction is a gift from God. When you notice your arousal, say a prayer thanking God for the gift of sexuality and ask Him to give you the grace to use this gift as He intended…not for lust…but rather to fulfill His pro creative and unitive plan. You will have better success combating lust if you accept that desire is normal. You don’t need to repress the natural response, but rather redeem it. It could be as easy as creating a mantra such as “I’m aroused because I am a creation of God and one day I will share myself in a total, faithful, and fruitful way with my wife.”
Also, congratulations on your awareness of this issue. Many a young man would respond in less pure way.
Sorry to contradict you. i just want this person to get the best advice possible. Thanks

AP Quinn
 
But I would very much appreciate the Catholic stand in what context that arousal should exist.

Thank you in advance. 👍
Here’s this Catholics perspective- so take it in that light.

Transporting myself back to where you are now to do it all over again- (I’m in an analogy mode) http://www.thewholetruth.com/hypno2.gif

I’d go straight toward becoming a priest, instead of the many turns on the road of life I actually took, to include but not limited to sexual temptations.
:banghead:

I won’t deny the ride was sometimes fun, always interesting, but the cost of it may have exceeded my credit line. And the play-before-you-pay rules weren’t really clear until later. Ok, they were clear enough, but I was exercising my free-will account, or so I told myself.

Now I’m asking the Banker to gimme a break because I have been trying to reconcile my accounts. The point is, some of those turns I took were such that I missed critical “power-ups”, and for most it isn’t possible to even go back and get them anymore. The Banker reminded me that He puts these Power-ups out there for us- sometimes hidden but most are like a flashing light to show us the way.

Your confusing a power-up with a side road. See, power-ups are things like Church attendance, education, training, discipline, and obedience. Your girl friend is a side road from your own roadway, and if you switch lanes now and turn too soon you could miss a power-up and have to pay a toll- though you might not know it. The Banker has one of those transponders that debits your account when you make a turn off the straight path. Sometimes you never know the amount of the toll fee before you turn, and there is always a fee, so be careful out there.

http://www.thewholetruth.com/broadcast.gif

One option that I was taught early, but didn’t put rightly into practice until much later (29) was the understanding that best friends can join you without having to turn aside. Best friends share everything except intimacy because to do so is an obvious turn. That path, to intimacy, is pretty clear and to get there with in an acceptable fashion, you must follow the street signs. It seems like you see them.

http://www.thewholetruth.com/heart2.gif

By making her your best-friend instead of your girl-friend, you can find bigger and better power-ups together before you pass them by. Best friends are cool like that, and don’t get as mad as girl-friends when you mess up.

Note: There are more power-ups at the beginning of the road. Where you are now, you must be tripping over them. (Thank goodness there are still some to get here where I am along the road, which is not all that far in front of you.) Keep in mind though, power-ups are always held individually and not shared, even though you can share them with others. The Banker is pretty strict about who can pay Your debt. (Other than you, only the Banker’s Son can settle up your account.)

Then, when you eventually leave the power-up minefield you are in now, you can look at your best friend with a new eye and together make an informed, rational decision to turn you road together, or go in different directions.

Even when we are appropriately traveling with someone, ultimately it is an individual account that we draw from. Concentrate on finding those power-ups now- they really do come handy later on.

http://www.uscms.org/LPC/lpc_trk/sisyphus.gif
 
hallo there
Though much has been mentioned, first I admire your courage to come out of your self and try to analyse your actions and feelings.I agree with most of the replies for me feel something is still lacking. For as long as you love one another (in " ") today love calls for openness. Be it just mere friendship or even friendship for marriage, so then take more courage and go out to her share your feelings and understand her’s also. It can never help when you seek help and guidance alone without involving her, remember the more you share, the more you discover one another, the more you shall know where to seek guidance, the more you shall advance in your friendship, and this shall help you both even if you dont intend to marry.
If you trust one another or you wish to, then take the step and God shall enligten you both. DONT FORGET TO PRAY BEFORE YOU TALK TO HER.
 
Mere sexual arousal is not intrinsically evil, therefore it depends on the intention and circumstances as to whether or not it is a sin.
 
Yes it is evil because it leads to the sin of lust and should be avoided at all costs period. Lust is a mortal sin.

Sex and marriage is only for procreation. Nothing more.

People who can not have children should not be married or in any kind of relationship. Period.

Love doesn’t matter.
 
not to hijack the thread, but I have a question. What if this whole deal goes a, ummm, step further (awkward). I mean, what if nothing bad is done or thought about, but the OP’s predicament still happens, and then it is…umm…taken a step further. Not masturbation, but to the same end. NOT by choice, as I dread it, but honestly, to avoid this, I would likely need to not look at my girlfriend or give her a hug or hold her hand or anything. Again, we do nothing that we would not have a preist know about.
 
Thank you to all who have participated. This thread is now closed.
 
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