Is Showing Off Wrong?

[MindOverMatter2]

Thanks for the replies everyone regarding my being a cake artist.

@Edward…yes, it does make sense, however, I still struggle with this one that you posted.

“12. To take pleasure in praise and compliments”

How can I not take pleasure in being praised for my work? I admit that when I complete a project, I look forward to hearing what others will think about it. I always feel a sense of guilt when I post a picture on my website or cake forum…

If God didn’t want you to participate in the joy and the glory of your talents, he would not have given them to you. God created us to participate in the glory of his being; thus there is no sin in taking delight in our participation in that glory. Its a great dignity for somebody to tell you how wonderful you have performed in doing Gods will, since this only encourages you to do more; just so long as you remember that you have received your talent from God alone. Personally I think that you are being far too scrupulous.

Sin begins in the heart. Showing off means to imply that you behave in a manner that suggests that you think, in your heart, that your value as a person is greater than other people who do not have the same talent as you. But to say to somebody, here look at this wonderful thing, is no sin, since you are asking them to participate in the wonder of it; you are not excluding them at the expense of their dignity and value as persons.

But, if you really are worried, see a priest, he might tell you something different to me.

 

[Rascalking]

I guess I’ll be the dissenter on this one.

It depends. If you think that driving a better car, or being better at chess means your a morally superior person than someone who doesn’t have those talents or has a lesser car, than yes, that is clearly wrong.

However, If I work hard, take care of my responibilities, and can afford a nice car, than get one, and be happy about it. Never look down on those who have less, but it’s okay to say, “look what hard work can get you.”

My friend is an amazing pool player. When he shows off, it’s because he’s dedicated 20 years of his life to playing the game. There is NOTHING wrong with taking pride in your abilities, as long as you know that morally-your no better than the other guy/gal.

 

[Edward_H]

I guess I’ll be the dissenter on this one.

It depends. If you think that driving a better car, or being better at chess means your a morally superior person than someone who doesn’t have those talents or has a lesser car, than yes, that is clearly wrong.

However, If I work hard, take care of my responibilities, and can afford a nice car, than get one, and be happy about it. Never look down on those who have less, but it’s okay to say, “look what hard work can get you.”

My friend is an amazing pool player. When he shows off, it’s because he’s dedicated 20 years of his life to playing the game. There is NOTHING wrong with taking pride in your abilities, as long as you know that morally-your no better than the other guy/gal.

Rascalking,

Thanks for engaging deeper on this subject, all related to humility. So, if I read your post right the key test is “as long as you know that morally-your no better than the other guy/gal”

How do we “know” this?

Is this knowledge or “a feeling”?

So it’s our knowledge (or feeling of moral betterment) that’s key?

We’re the source of that assessment?

So, we decide, we make the call?

And it sounds almost as if you’re saying that the critical thing is that we not think we’re better in the moral dimension than others. This seems almost like “splitting” the person into parts, a dis-integration of the whole. Moral goodness vs. integral holiness. That doesn’t seem like a large enough goal to equate to “our universal call to holiness”, and again it sounds like you put each person in the judgement seat. Maybe not.

It just seems odd also to sort of subset our life. Might be fine…but something to me at least seems too narrow here. Having a hard time putting words on it.

I may not have teased out the right part of your point…but the more I try to tease out your point, the less it seems to square with Scripture (here I am thinking of when I think i’t’s in 2nd Corinthians, maybe near the end…where Paul speaks about boasting).

It seems like the time and effort and pleasure spent in “preening” on the pool table could be spent entertaining others, serving others, drawing others into perhaps more substantial discussions about life’s difficulties. I mean I can see a pool expert entertaining on the one hand and maybe internally praying for others, hoping that one’s skills attract attention IN ORDER TO LEAD TO examples of good living (caring enough to tell his friend that he’d be glad to drive him home because he’s drinking too much…etc.).

Small quiet, self-forgetting acts of love mixed in with the showmanship.

Does that make any difference…does this point add to the thread?

 

[Rascalking]

Rascalking,

Thanks for engaging deeper on this subject, all related to humility. So, if I read your post right the key test is “as long as you know that morally-your no better than the other guy/gal”

How do we “know” this?

Is this knowledge or “a feeling”?

So it’s our knowledge (or feeling of moral betterment) that’s key?

We’re the source of that assessment?

So, we decide, we make the call?

And it sounds almost as if you’re saying that the critical thing is that we not think we’re better in the moral dimension than others. This seems almost like “splitting” the person into parts, a dis-integration of the whole. Moral goodness vs. integral holiness. That doesn’t seem like a large enough goal to equate to “our universal call to holiness”, and again it sounds like you put each person in the judgement seat. Maybe not.

It just seems odd also to sort of subset our life. Might be fine…but something to me at least seems too narrow here. Having a hard time putting words on it.

I may not have teased out the right part of your point…but the more I try to tease out your point, the less it seems to square with Scripture (here I am thinking of when I think i’t’s in 2nd Corinthians, maybe near the end…where Paul speaks about boasting).

It seems like the time and effort and pleasure spent in “preening” on the pool table could be spent entertaining others, serving others, drawing others into perhaps more substantial discussions about life’s difficulties. I mean I can see a pool expert entertaining on the one hand and maybe internally praying for others, hoping that one’s skills attract attention IN ORDER TO LEAD TO examples of good living (caring enough to tell his friend that he’d be glad to drive him home because he’s drinking too much…etc.).

Small quiet, self-forgetting acts of love mixed in with the showmanship.

Does that make any difference…does this point add to the thread?

I don’t think I see your point, to be honest.

You need to have lesiure activities, or you will 1) be miserable and 2) go insane. Saying that “time spent learning a new hobby could be time used to help the poor/etc” is a bit unfair-there has to be time spent living your life.

My friend is proud of skills at pool-he does show off-but at the end of the day, he doesn’t say, “I’m a better person than you because I can play pool better than you”. It’s the same thing for me hiking. I can race you to the top of the mountian, and totally smoke you. I’m proud of that because I work very hard to stay in shape. I know I’m not a more moral person than you-how? Because my ability to hike or my friends ability to play pool has nothing to do with our morality. We do work for the community, our churches, we march in pro-life movements. But yes, some of our life is-gasp-being happy and enjoying the company of friends.

The other thing to remember is that it is all in good fun. When I see you lagging on a hike or getting slaughtered in pool-it’s playful to make a trick shot or playfully tease you for going slower than me. If I knew someone was overly sensetive or had no sense of humor, I wouldn’t jab at them.

Ironically, I’m awful at pool. .The house I bought has a pool table but it is only used when my friends and family come over. I’m okay at darts though.

 

[Edward_H]

I don’t think I see your point, to be honest.

You need to have lesiure activities, or you will 1) be miserable and 2) go insane. Saying that “time spent learning a new hobby could be time used to help the poor/etc” is a bit unfair-there has to be time spent living your life.

My friend is proud of skills at pool-he does show off-but at the end of the day, he doesn’t say, “I’m a better person than you because I can play pool better than you”. It’s the same thing for me hiking. I can race you to the top of the mountian, and totally smoke you. I’m proud of that because I work very hard to stay in shape. I know I’m not a more moral person than you-how? Because my ability to hike or my friends ability to play pool has nothing to do with our morality. We do work for the community, our churches, we march in pro-life movements. But yes, some of our life is-gasp-being happy and enjoying the company of friends.

The other thing to remember is that it is all in good fun. When I see you lagging on a hike or getting slaughtered in pool-it’s playful to make a trick shot or playfully tease you for going slower than me. If I knew someone was overly sensetive or had no sense of humor, I wouldn’t jab at them.

Ironically, I’m awful at pool. .The house I bought has a pool table but it is only used when my friends and family come over. I’m okay at darts though.

My point is pretty basic: Our primary goal is to please God, pursue holiness, with our whole, heart mind soul strength…to love. Self-forgetfulness. Heroic virtue. This is the universal call to holiness. We need to use all our intellect, our memory to serve Him. Our physical energy.

Preening about in some sort of overcompensating over-grown jockish way isn’t loving…it’s self-love. It’s somewhat tolerated as teenagers…but I think after the teen years, we’re sort of expected to “put childish things aside”.

Thumping your chest at the top of a mountain isn’t love, it’s self-love. Spending time with friends CAN be love if our intentions are supernatural, if they are truly good.

We rest, so that we can love and work more. Just like Jesus did. As Catholics we don’t work to rest…we rest to love more, to give more.

I can’t think of an example in the Gospel where your examples of chest thumping seem to snap right in and fit well.

**What is the object and intent of our actions, that’s the fundamental question that reveals an answer to this thread’s question.
**

If it’s to “live”, “to have fun” “to rest” “to LIVE STRONG”…etc…these goals are sadly rather puny, secular, earthly, and don’t coexist with the supernatural goals.

In the end such secular goals - so pervasive in our society - are rather impotent.

God is looking for far greater love and correspondence than for us to pursue such immature goals as these.

 

[Angel7]

What about Impressing other people?
That what I meant by showing off. I know im not the best. But if I could impress others with what I could do?

Also, these posts made me realize that even my talents, abilities and gifts aren’t mine. I don’t think I ever thought of that.

 

[Edward_H]

What about Impressing other people?
That what I meant by showing off. I know im not the best. But if I could impress others with what I could do?

Also, these posts made me realize that even my talents, abilities and gifts aren’t mine. I don’t think I ever thought of that.

If we make an impression on anyone it should be because of our quiet, self-forgetfullness; our life full of service. That is, the love of God that shines through us…through our actions, the talents we develop.

It’s ok to attract attention…but it needs to be done for God, with God, to help others find God in you or others.

In fact, when people see great talent together with sincere, quiet humility…they then take real notice…and maybe this apparent ‘absurdity’ is the thing that may open the pathway for discussions about more substantial topics…life death giving loving, and our Father God…faith

 

[StevenDunn]

See, this is what I have trouble dealing with. I am a cake artist…and people always tell me what good work I do. I feel so grateful that God gave me this lovely talent but at the same I’m not sure what to do with it. If I promote my business, then I’m just “showing off”. If I don’t promote my business, then I don’t get clients, lol!

Very thin line indeed…

God loves you, and gave you this gift. Do your work for Him and you don’t have to worry about this problem. Give back to God the fruits of your labor through honest work. I would also suggest you look into Opus Dei and its founder, St. Josemaria Escriva. It may be just the right thing for you.

 

[dailey]

Thank you everyone for commenting on my situation! It has made me see things in a different way.