Is the Catholic Church really disabled friendly?

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melvfe

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Hello all,

I would like to share my experience being a disabled person in the Catholic Church. I have both physical and listening disabilities.

In my childhood, I always thought that being a disabled person does not matter because in the eyes of God, and likewise the Church, what is more important is our heart and soul.

However, over the past several years, I have realised that the Church is quite discriminatory against the disabled community.

I have always wanted to join a Church ministry. But I realised that being a lector or a Communion Minister was out of bounds for me because I was unable to go up the stairs to the altar area. It was also not possible for me to join the warden ministry because there were several tasks that were difficult to do as a person with disabilities. The prayer and intercessory ministries were more catered for the older generation (I am only 20+ years old). Also, the media ministry room was too small to allow a wheelchair to fit. Even in the catechist ministry, they weren’t very accepting of me as well.

So, I decided to join the choir because I love singing God’s hymns. But alas, I got kicked out because I was slightly tone-deaf and sometimes sang out of tune.

Even the church’s youth ministry was not accepting of me. The youths all saw me as different and did not really talk to me, and when I joined events, they did not really accommodate the venue to ensure its accessibility. Retreats and mission trips were almost impossible. I had to leave the church ministry as a result, and the members all shunned me when I left.

Apart from such physical obstacles, I also had to bear the brunt of many churchgoers treating me like a child when I am clearly an adult, albeit on wheelchair.

And on top of all these discriminatory practices, even the clergy’s behaviour flabbergasted me! I once went for confession, and a priest said, “You’re disabled, so you shouldn’t be committing sins.” Some priests I know are much kinder, but are still subtly discriminatory against the disabled because they think that we need help all the time, which is definitely false. One was even surprised to find that I went to church without my parents… even though I was clearly an adult and can move around on wheelchair.

It pains me that the Catholic Church is not friendly when compared to other Christian denominations. Some of my Christian friends are very accepting of me. I have yet to find a single Catholic friend who is able to look past my disabilities and accept me for who I really am. Even my parents are also discriminatory against my disabilities. There really is a prevalent and unspoken stereotype that disabled persons must be holy. Otherwise, why would confessionals be so small? Why are wheelchair-friendly booths so rare?

I strongly urge the Catholic Church to be more friendly and accommodating and respectful towards people with disabilities. Change should start within the Catholic Church itself, from its infrastructure to the communication level.
 
My sister is blind (she has glass eyes) and she is a lector at the church near where she lives in Oakland. She uses her seeing eye dog to help her find her way to the lector. She get a Braille copy of the readings and she practices. So at least her church is quite accommodating. I have know lectors who had needed to be helped to get up to the ambo as well.
 
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All of this discrimination you’re experiencing is not Catholic, it’s people. Some people simply aren’t used to speaking with, or making provisions for, people with disabilities. I’m sure they don’t mean to be unkind or to hurt your feelings. Explain to those who are treating you like a child that you are an adult, but please try to be kind about it… we all say and do silly things at times. Let this be a way of using your own Christian values and give a blessing to all who hurt or offend you. Make time to speak with your priest about this situation, explain your frustrations and think of ways you can help out in the parish, and I’m sure he’ll try to accomodate you in whatever way he can. The room being too small and the altar steps are unavoidable, to a certain extent, though… it’s just how the building was made.
 
I think it’s your parish that’s “discriminatory”, not the Church at large. In my parish we have rails to help people with disabilities get up the steps, there is no ramp but I’m sure they would be open (perhaps legally obligated) to install one if necessary. We also have a wheelchair friendly confessional. The priest who made the very ignorant comment was probably not a good example of the Church.

I am ashamed to say that when I interact with some people with disabilities, I do catch myself treating them like children. I don’t mean to, I think it’s just instinctive. I do try to correct my behaviour. So, although I can’t imagine how it feels to treated like that, please don’t judge them too harshly.
 
When I say instinctive I mean partly because they are physically lower than me. Also if they have speech impediment.

If I met Stephen Hawking I might treat him like a child five minutes before I realized he was really clever.
 
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MockSock said:
Church at large. In my parish we have rails to help people with disabilities get up the steps, there is no ramp but I’m sure they would be open (perhaps legally obligated) to install one if necessary. We also have a wheelchair friendly confessional. The priest who made the very ignorant comment was probably no
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I have been observing the same thing across many different parishes over the years.
 
It is hard to feel not welcomed and appreciated in your own faith community. I think it is not the Catholic Church discriminating people with disability, I think it really depends a lot from the parish, from the country you are living in and from the age of people you are interacting with. In my own parish (US, suburban area, lots of young families) we have at least 3 people with very obvious disabilities serving well in various ministries (one altar server, one lector, one responsible of the parish website and parish office) and our own church building is modern and easily accessible. I am originally from Southern Europe and over there (at least years ago) the mentality toward people with disabilities is more patronizing, especially in the older generation, and churches/parish buildings are often old and not well accessible. Hope you will find soon the right fit for you.
 
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In a parish where we used to live, one elderly priest celebrated regular weekday Masses in his wheelchair. They put up a low folding table which he used as the altar, at the foot of the altar steps. He said Mass without ever standing up or genuflecting. No hassle.
 
melvfe said:
I have been observing the same thing across many different parishes over the years.
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I am sure there are individuals who do all of the negative things you mentioned and more in any given Parish. That does not mean that the Church itself is discriminatory.

My Parish church was built with a ramp from the main floor level to the Sanctuary level and could accommodate anyone in a wheelchair needing to access the Sanctuary area.
 
Sometimes I think when people treat the disabled like a child, the urge is more a desire to protect, or not make their life any harder, rather than to belittle.

In actual fact, we all carry crosses, but a lot of them are invisible.

The ones that are visible evoke a response in others. We humans are funny like that.

But in either case, I’m sorry that was your experience. Have you thought about what you want to do to change it?
 
aroosi said:
I think it really depends a lot from the parish, from the country you are living in and from the age of people you are interacting with.
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I agree. I have seen parishes and groups where disabled people were very much welcome and accommodations to the worship space were made for them, and also individual parish members would be helping them when they needed help (such as help to get a person into an area where a wheelchair would not go).

I also think that some of the things you listed are not due to your disability. Being asked to leave the choir because you do not sing on key is not related to your disability. You also complained about some ministries as being “catered for the older generation” which to me sounds like age discrimination on your part, not discrimination against you for your disability.

Edited to add, have you considered maybe trying another parish or reaching out to other disabled people on a diocesan level?
 
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My parish has pillars, and the pews are designed with cut away sections to work around them. There are also cut away sections on the pews near the front to cater for coffins and wheelchairs, and some along the side aisles to cater for prams/wheelchairs. There’s wheelchair access into the church itself but if my parish were to consider having a wheelchair ramp on to the altar steps, there’s really not a lot of room and it would take a lot of planning to try to rearrange the seating while still trying to cater for coffins and wheelchairs and work around the pillars. It may be possible through the side doors, as they seem pretty wide… I’m not sure how wide the inner doors are though tbh. The confessional itself has a wide door, so that wouldn’t be a problem.

My parish has financial struggles, too, such as struggling to provide monies for building maintenance and keeping the heating on in winter… I guess a much more practical approach (for a parish like mine) would seem to be to give the new lector a microphone. The choir are upstairs but there’d be no issue with people singing from other areas.
 
187.Provision should be made to allow the easy use of the ambo by readers of different height; examples of how this may be achieved include:
• a means of altering the height or angle of the reading surface;
• space for a temporary step;
• a fold-down step incorporated in the design for the use of children and others.
Where possible, provision should be made for a reader in a wheelchair, considering issues of access, space and reading height.
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source: https://www.liturgyoffice.org.uk/Resources/CFW/CFW.pdf

This is relevant in my country and may not be in yours. I’m a great believer in doing whatever we can to make access possible for all people, I was only saying that in some of these historic buildings, such as mine, it can be tricky. I’m also not saying it would be impossible… just that it would take a lot of planning and some money.

I recognise that it doesn’t answer your specific question, though.
 
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OP, I am sorry that you are having these struggles. It can be very discouraging. Like others have already said, this sounds more like a parish problem than a Church problem.

Our church buildings have ramps up to the lectern, tons of parking near the entrance that has no steps, an automatic door, and the first row on each side has been designated for wheelchair and walkers and anyone that cannot walk far.

Was the building always like this? No. But the changes were made over time, and as the laws for them came into being.

May I suggest that you acquaint yourself with the laws in your state, (and/or federal) and see what is lacking at your church. Make a list of the changes needed, and then (post virus) make an appointment with the pastor to discuss your concerns. Offer to help form a committee to fund raise and make any changes in your parish that would allow you and others to participate more easily.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
 
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I agree with others saying this is mostly a parish problem. My parish is extremely accommodating to the disabled. One of the regular lectors is in a wheelchair. There is a ramp up to the ambo but I’m pretty sure if there was not she would be allowed to read at her level facing the congregants. If there are disabled who cannot make it up for communion, the priests or extraordinary ministers go to them. We have two parishes and both have wheelchair ramps to get in. These provisions do often take time and money the parish may or may not have. My parish is pretty well off so these requirements are a no brainer. As far as not being a fit for various ministries, well everyone is not a good fit for everything. I’m not sure if you have spoken to clergy about your concerns. Maybe you can partner together to discern what is the best way to get you engaged with the community.

I will say this as far as how people interact with you, many people are going to be awkward but sometimes it is the disabled person that can be awkward as well. I know for myself sometimes I’m never sure how the person wants to be treated or it could always change dependent on their mood. I generally don’t have a hard time with following social cues but, for instance, there is a woman at my job who I can never read. Sometimes she acts really needy and offended that I’m not reading her mind about how to help and other times she angrily resists being assisted. I can never win. I say give a little grace for people and don’t take it personally.
 
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Speaking for the US, our Bishops have a good program at www.ncpd.org

Please, after life is back to normal, use the policies to speak with your pastor. Hope you do not have to go to the Diocese or higher, however, it might take that.

As a disabled person who sits on the Diocese Council of Inclusion, most parishes simply do not understand how to include parishioners who have disabilities.

There is a great parish walk through checklist where the parish can begin.
https://ncpd.org/resources_and_toolkits/access-surveys


At my parish, one of our wheelchair user parishioners is a Reader. He does not have to go up the steps, we bring the mic to him.
 
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I am a wheelchair user and have been a lector at my current parish since I joined in 1995. For most of those years, I would have to go through the sacristy to get to the ambo, but at least I could get there without having to worry about steps.

Our parish’s recent renovations have improved matters. There is now a ramp to the ambo, so that I don’t have to go through the sacristy. And, on the ambo itself there is a switch to lower and raise the platform for the lectionary, so it can be brought down to my level.

I was also in the choir for over 20 years.

Mostly I have been treated with respect, although there was one older lady who used to pat me on the head. I finally got fed up with that and told her to stop.
 
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