Is the demonic, or something else?

[Googler333]

To get to my question, I have to make a quick trip down memory lane first.

I went through a bad patch about 2 years ago, I got extremely depressed, overdosed on motion sickness pills, and almost committed suicide. All the while I constantly thought about murdering myself and others in extremely violent fashions (I once laughed at a pictures of corpses). I was completely out of character compared to my usual self, and I had fitful, weird nightmares and my whole life felt like a walking dream. Sadly, the people who could help me simply weren’t there, so I fell apart for a while.

Up to this day though, I’m doing much better. So why am I posting here? When some people prayed for me for the first time in YEARS, I, for a short moment, felt the same way. As they prayed, this massive anger and burning hatred ate at my stomach, and I wanted to kill everyone in the room in any way I could. I imagined breaking a lamp in half and piercing it through their necks, slapping their faces on a burning stove, etc. This deeply concerns me considering these are not only bad thoughts, but bad thoughts towards my friends and family. Not only that, but I occasionally go through these dark phases where I feel completely out of control of myself and sleep into a deep depression.

I suppose I already know the answer, but can anyone give me advice, or maybe a light to what’s going on? I don’t want this.

 

[SMA_12]

I do not think we are in much of a position to speculate about such a serious issue.

If you have not already, I suggest you seek a mental health professional to rule out any disorders you may have, and then talk to a priest for further guidance on the matter.

The demonic realm is real, but so are health issues affecting mental and emotional state.

You are in my prayers.

God bless

 

[Isabel_08]

Hi, Googler.

I can’t say for sure if what you’ve gone through, and what you’re going through, is demonic in nature. For that, it would be a good idea to talk with a priest. Have you talked to one yet?

Another thing that it could be, is that you might have scrupulosity, a form of OCD. This, I’ve gone through, and the violent images/urges, that feeling that “this is not me” that you described, were one of my symptoms (there are other kinds), and I absolutely felt like there was some spiritual warfare going on. There was also depression, and anger, partly because it was mentally and emotionally exhausting. The good news it, there’s help. Whatever this is, spiritual, biochemical, or both, there is help, and you’re not alone in this. You can look through the forums here and find many people who have gone through something similar.

You said you feel you already know the answer…What do you think it is?

Here’s a link with a lot of other links to resources. Some good, informative detailed podcasts in there! Hopefully they help.
thescrupulouscatholic.wordpress.com/

You should keep developing your prayer life. Don’t be discouraged! I will be praying for you, too.

 

[z_0101]

I do not think we are in much of a position to speculate about such a serious issue.

If you have not already, I suggest you seek a mental health professional to rule out any disorders you may have, and then talk to a priest for further guidance on the matter.

The demonic realm is real, but so are health issues affecting mental and emotional state.

You are in my prayers.

God bless

Might I suggest, that the talks with the Priest and the Medical professionals be concurrent.

Even if this does happen to be purely a medical issue, having the Priest there to help “walk” with you on what may be a long and difficult process can only help strengthen you. He can provide you the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Annointing of the Sick both of which bring the Grace God to strengthen you as the demons tend to strike when we are the weakest so what my begin as a medical condition is potentially a handhold for the demonic to tempt us into self doubt, or worse).

I would also try to spend an hour in adoration… see if your church has a formal adoration (as mine does) or just try to go into the church or any Catholic Church and sit with our Lord for as long as you have time and pray - even the simple little prayers He hears.

 

[MaryT777]

Reported; help needed beyond this forum’s capacity.

 

[SMA_12]

Might I suggest, that the talks with the Priest and the Medical professionals be concurrent.

Even if this does happen to be purely a medical issue, having the Priest there to help “walk” with you on what may be a long and difficult process can only help strengthen you…

I would agree.

Reported; help needed beyond this forum’s capacity.

Definitely agree. I hope this thread gets closed but not deleted, so the OP can at least see our urging to get help.