Is There Hope For Us?

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Hello all,

First of all–thank you for reading this as it has been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We are both very young and would not be able to get married for at least another three years as we are still in college and have no careers or way to suppport ourselves. We unfortunately fell into the sin of premarital sex. I was raised Catholic and love my faith, but obviously fell short in living it out. I see that now, and have since decided to turn this relationship back around. It’s been difficult because he has only recently found God and is also trying to deepen his relationship with God. We have decided to stop having sex. We really do love each other and want to get married, and after the two of us making this decision to try again (although I kinda began the conversation), I know that I am truly wanting to marry this man. I know he has a good heart and I know that the two of us really paying attention to God and really trying will make a difference.

But I’ve never heard any success stories like this. I have heard of plenty of people not working out or splitting up over this issue–but what about two people who made it? What are y’all’s thoughts, opinions, etc on this? Has anybody been through this before and married that person or been in a similar situation of bringing God back into a relationship?

I know God will lead me to my husband, but I am in need of some encouragement!
 
You have to start fresh with your boyfriend. One of you needs to move out so you have a chance at a chaste relationship.
 
I will keep you guys in my prayers.
I hope you both manage to make it work, I really do
God bless
 
Warandpeace said:
You have to start fresh with your boyfriend. One of you needs to move out so you have a chance at a chaste relationship.
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Just to clear things up–we do not live together and do not plan on it, but we have been in a relationship for a little over a year. We are both in college and living in dorms.
 
Why can’t you get married now? Why wait until after college? i don’t understand the postponing.

I know of many couples who were married when they were doing their college studies- they may have been a bit older than you though, not sure.

I even know of one woman who was married to her husband and they were both going to college and they both lived in her parents house after the wedding… .They even had a child before they finished college while living with her parents. I don’t think that’s shameful at all. I think its rather responsible, and fitting that the parents understood that their daughter wanted to be with the man she loved and so they helped out in this way. Why does everything in this society have to be a certain set way for everyone? I don’t believe God intended people to wait so long to start a family. Yes its good to be established financially and all that, but if you have some means of making it work, why not?

Its better to marry than to burn St. Paul says in scripture. Its still fornication when you are not married and won’t be ok until you have made the formal commitment to each other and before God and the assembly. Just get married.

God bless you both.
 
I recommend you both read and watch the videos : The Theology of the Body by Saint John Paul II. It HELPS alot. I also recommend you both start praying the rosary together and doing bible study together. Whats done is done, move on. Since you both have already had sex theres no need to move out but at the same time try not to have sex. You both must pray heavily, and you both must read more about your faith, i recommend reading the YOUCAT its the youth version of the catechism but in simple words. Talk to your parish priest on what else you can do. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE
 
Scientia_Dei said:
I recommend you both read and watch the videos : The Theology of the Body by Saint John Paul II. It HELPS alot. I also recommend you both start praying the rosary together and doing bible study together. Whats done is done, move on. Since you both have already had sex theres no need to move out but at the same time try not to have sex. You both must pray heavily, and you both must read more about your faith, i recommend reading the YOUCAT its the youth version of the catechism but in simple words. Talk to your parish priest on what else you can do. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE
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Thank you so much for your recommendations and for reminding us there is hope! I appreciate your helpful answer. Again, we are not living together–never have and never will until we are married. It appears my question was unclear about that!
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Why can’t you get married now? Why wait until after college? i don’t understand the postponing.

I know of many couples who were married when they were doing their college studies- they may have been a bit older than you though, not sure.

I even know of one woman who was married to her husband and they were both going to college and they both lived in her parents house after the wedding… .They even had a child before they finished college while living with her parents. I don’t think that’s shameful at all. I think its rather responsible, and fitting that the parents understood that their daughter wanted to be with the man she loved and so they helped out in this way. Why does everything in this society have to be a certain set way for everyone? I don’t believe God intended people to wait so long to start a family. Yes its good to be established financially and all that, but if you have some means of making it work, why not?

Its better to marry than to burn St. Paul says in scripture. Its still fornication when you are not married and won’t be ok until you have made the formal commitment to each other and before God and the assembly. Just get married.

God bless you both.
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Yes, we realize that it was fornication, which is why we decided to stop having sex. We are working our hardest to refrain from committing this sin again. We have always talked about getting married and intend to wait until marriage.

Also, I didn’t mean to sound like I was saying that nobody should get married until they are out of college, but for us, it simply isn’t what we want or possible right now. Our campus has no married housing, and we are both here on academic scholarships. We also both are going into career fields that require graduate school, so right now we have no way to afford rent or groceries, etc and won’t for a good 3-4 years. I personally do not want to get married until I have finished school and would never want to put the burden on either of our parents like that, nor would I want to be living in my parents house when I am married. Thank you for your response. Marriage is definitely what we are after! 🙂
 
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