is this a mortal sin??

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fannypanny

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hey
i was wondering if this would b a sin -
ok, so iv had an eye on this one particular guy for a long time rite. However, he is not interested in me. but, i know for a fact that whenever he is at a club, he likes to dance inappropriately sometimes. and I have this idea that i could get him to be with me by sinking to his level. Its getting really bad - i keep fantisizing about dancing with him. Yet, I know by actually dancing with him - I will be committing a sin. However, my desire to do this is getting stronger…even though I know I probably wont end up actually doing it or if i do it, i will confess it because I know god always forgives - but that would b an abuse of my relationship with god and it is still wrong. but my question is - if i go to confession now to confess other sins, even without being truly sorry for this sin (coz for some reason - i can not physically get the idea out of my head because i still have the desire to go ahead with my plan) and even though i no its wrong - will any of my sins be forgiven??
help, does anyone have any ideas, of how i could stop having this strong desire??

thanks, it wood b heaps appreciated if someone could help me out with this issue!!
  • fanny
 
fannypanny said:
hey
i was wondering if this would b a sin -
ok, so iv had an eye on this one particular guy for a long time rite. However, he is not interested in me. but, i know for a fact that whenever he is at a club, he likes to dance inappropriately sometimes. and I have this idea that i could get him to be with me by sinking to his level. Its getting really bad - i keep fantisizing about dancing with him. Yet, I know by actually dancing with him - I will be committing a sin. However, my desire to do this is getting stronger…even though I know I probably wont end up actually doing it or if i do it, i will confess it because I know god always forgives - but that would b an abuse of my relationship with god and it is still wrong. but my question is - if i go to confession now to confess other sins, even without being truly sorry for this sin (coz for some reason - i can not physically get the idea out of my head because i still have the desire to go ahead with my plan) and even though i no its wrong - will any of my sins be forgiven??
help, does anyone have any ideas, of how i could stop having this strong desire??

thanks, it wood b heaps appreciated if someone could help me out with this issue!!
  • fanny
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While you are at it, confess placing yourself in the near occasion of sin by frequenting such a club. What on earth are you THINKING? Can you as a woman (you ARE a woman, aren’t you?) honestly be attracted to a guy who “dances inappropriately.” Run, do not walk, as far away from this whole mess as you can.
 
well, he is actual a guy from my youth group but lets just say he is only just coming back on the track after a while. and yes, i am a women.
 
would god forgive a sin that you know in your heart that you arent sorry for even if a priest was to absolve it?
 
help, does anyone have any ideas, of how i could stop having this strong desire??
Click to expand...
I could write reams and reams of paper about the losing proposition that is modern dating, dancing as foreplay, and going to clubs to meet people. But I’ll spare you. 🙂

Instead I say lay your cards on the table. Take him aside (assuming you can hear a conversation in one of these noise buckets), and say, “Look, I’m attracted to you and would like to know you better, but I can’t engage in any freak dancing and I am a good girl who is not going to do any funny business.” If he runs like startled deer, forget him.
 
maize said:
would god forgive a sin that you know in your heart that you arent sorry for even if a priest was to absolve it?
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Short answer: insincere contrition invalidates the Sacrament, and possibly adds the sin of sacriledge, but I’m not sure about that.
 
fannypanny said:
well, he is actual a guy from my youth group but lets just say he is only just coming back on the track after a while. and yes, i am a women.
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He is not ready for a decent relationship if he is still “dancing inappropriately” in public places. It may take a while for his conversion to kick in all the way. He doesn’t need “help” from a girl who has fantasies about him that are matter for confession.
 
maize said:
would god forgive a sin that you know in your heart that you arent sorry for even if a priest was to absolve it?
Click to expand...
Short answer: no.

Nuance: “Imperfect contrition” – meaning that you are sorry, but you really aren’t as sorry as you know you need to be but you KNOW it’s wrong, you don’t WANT to do it again, and you sure as heck don’t want to go to hell for it – is “good enough” for absolution. But it is far from ideal. We all aim to be perfect saints. Few of us measure up, even with all the graces our Lord showers upon us.
 
fannypanny said:
hey
i was wondering if this would b a sin -
ok, so iv had an eye on this one particular guy for a long time rite. However, he is not interested in me. but, i know for a fact that whenever he is at a club, he likes to dance inappropriately sometimes. and I have this idea that i could get him to be with me by sinking to his level. Its getting really bad - i keep fantisizing about dancing with him. Yet, I know by actually dancing with him - I will be committing a sin. However, my desire to do this is getting stronger…even though I know I probably wont end up actually doing it or if i do it, i will confess it because I know god always forgives - but that would b an abuse of my relationship with god and it is still wrong. but my question is - if i go to confession now to confess other sins, even without being truly sorry for this sin (coz for some reason - i can not physically get the idea out of my head because i still have the desire to go ahead with my plan) and even though i no its wrong - will any of my sins be forgiven??
help, does anyone have any ideas, of how i could stop having this strong desire??

thanks, it wood b heaps appreciated if someone could help me out with this issue!!
  • fanny
Click to expand...
Misty30
I have been through much of the same situations as you especially when I was a teenager. I still have thoughts about doing things that would be sinful, but now that I have gotten older I have realized that I didn’t have a very close relationship with God when I was younger. I basically wanted God to be there for me when I needed him but then I didn’t put anything into our relationship on my part. It sounds like you have a good relationship with God already so my suggestion is pray, pray, pray, and then pray some more even when your emotions aren’t in it . The prayer I say when I am thinking something lustful is SAVE ME JESUS! CEASE THE HEART OF JESUS IS WITH ME . Then immediatly start doing something to keep your mind off of it. Or if that doesn’t work try going to eucharistic adoration. Hope it helps. I will be praying for you.

In Christ, Misty30;)
 
I have been through much of the same thought processes as you. My suggestion is pray, pray, pray and start doing something immediatly to get your mind off of the thought . The prayer I say when a lustful thought enters my head is SAVE ME JESUS! CEASE THE HEART OF JESUS IS WITH ME. If that doesn’t work or in addition to you could go to Eucharisic Adoration. And I would let him know you are interested in being friends and you could invite him do some godly type activities. Hope it helps. I’ll be praying for you and your situation that the Holy Spirit will give you the strength to do God’s Will.
In Christ, Misty30;)
 
I am really confused on how to get back to the forum and stop typing replies could anyone help please I am new to the internet.:o
 
Misty30 said:
I am really confused on how to get back to the forum and stop typing replies could anyone help please I am new to the internet.:o
Click to expand...
Go back up to the top of the page and you will see:

Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Apologetics > Moral Theology > is this a mortal sin?? All are underlined, click on the section you want and it will take you back there. Good luck! 👍 and Welcome :hug3:
 
fanny, do you really want this guy to like you based on something you don’t even like to do?
and not just that, but can you see yourself putting up with a guy like him for the rest of your life? someone who sets his morals aside for something like that?

or maybe you could instead help him by setting a good example for him, and maybe he could end up turning into someone you would truly be happy with.

well, just remember what Jesus said, “what does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, yet suffers the loss of his immortal soul?”

if you want to stop having these strong desires, then pray and go to confession often, nothing will help you more,
if you work hard and show God how much you want to replace this desire for lust with a desire to be pure, He will grant your request.
 
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