is this a mortal sin?

[4EverHis]

Sorry if this is a dumb question, but… if someone says something to you and you feel annoyed, and you reply to them in an impatient tone, is that a mortal sin? how do we know it’s not? for example…what if you KNOW it’s wrong, and you did it out of your own free will, although not having really thought about it beforehand… is it grave matter? I’m having a lot of trouble with defining what is grave matter…

 

[Secret_Square]

I would say, 99.9 percent of the time, it isn’t. First of all, most normal people don’t consider occasional impatience all that serious of a matter because we all do it when we’re tired, distracted, stressed out, etc. Would you consider it a serious matter if, say, your spouse or your child responded to you that way – or would you get over it pretty quickly? Also, if it happens on the spur of the moment, most likely there is neither sufficient reflection (knowledge that the act is a mortal sin) nor full consent of the will.

The only time I think something like this could be grave matter would be if you KNEW, beyond all doubt, BEFORE opening your mouth, that what you were about to say would be so utterly devastating or hurtful to the other person that it would end your relationship forever – but went ahead and did it anyway.

 

[Hildita]

I used to have trouble figuring out this kind of stuff until I read a little booklet entitled, examination of conscience. I found it not only easy to read but to put to rest my doubts. Finally, and most importantly if you believe you committed a mortal sin just carry yourself to confession. Not only will you feel better but it will help you take full advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation.

 

[Other_Eric]

To be safe, when this question arises, it’s always best to treat the supposed infraction as though it were a mortal sin and act accordingly.

 

[4EverHis]

thanks everyone, well you see it’s already Saturday night, and if it’s a mortal sin, I won’t be able to receive the Eucharist tomorrow and that for me is so sad because I missed last Sunday cause I was sick and the car broke… I was waiting for Communion literally all week, and then I sinned. So sad I don’t know what to do… I didn’t really think about it when I did it, it just sort of happened, it wasn’t intentional… but I mean, I COULD have stopped myself, right… so I have no idea what to do.

 

[Tietjen]

thanks everyone, well you see it’s already Saturday night, and if it’s a mortal sin, I won’t be able to receive the Eucharist tomorrow and that for me is so sad because I missed last Sunday cause I was sick and the car broke… I was waiting for Communion literally all week, and then I sinned. So sad I don’t know what to do… I didn’t really think about it when I did it, it just sort of happened, it wasn’t intentional… but I mean, I COULD have stopped myself, right… so I have no idea what to do.

What you have described is NOT a mortal sin. Grave matter, which is the first element, is needed for there to be mortal sin. Mortal sin is defined as a violation of Divine Law and therefore cuts us off from God. Failing to have patience, the way inwhich you have described, would not separate us from God and is not a violation of Divine Law. Also, you said that the situation “wasn’t intentional” and that “it just sort of happened.” Mortal sin IS intentional and IS choosen by the person committing the act. So, you not only have a situation where there is no grave matter but you are also without having freely choosen to commit the act. God bless.

 

[4EverHis]

I really hope you are right… I’m going to be praying about this… I was wondering, what if you say something not just impatiently but in an ANNOYED tone? or are those the same thing? that’s sort of what I meant… does that change things? It’s true I only realized it was wrong way afterwards, I didn’t carefuly think before (or think at all in a conscious way…)

 

[Tietjen]

I really hope you are right… I’m going to be praying about this… I was wondering, what if you say something not just impatiently but in an ANNOYED tone?

Tone is not a sin. Neither is getting annoyed. Our Lord got annoyed at times (remember the money changers at the temple). If this is really bothering you, perhaps you can go to Mass earlier than usual and ask father if you can speak to him for a moment before Mass. IMO, if you have sinned at all in this situation, it is but a venial sin.

 

[4EverHis]

thanks everyone! I wanted to let you know that after praying A LOT about this, I decided to receive the Eucharist, and I think I made the right choice I now think it was venial… God bless