Is this a sin?

[josea]

I would like to ask you something and I will try to be very careful and no to explicit in descriptions in this forum. My wife should not get pregnant again due to a serious risk for her life. We are using NFP to regulate our marital relations.

But one is not perfect and some times it is difficult to keep the necessary distance or control. This happened to us some days ago (also because my wife feels like mainly when we are banned by NFP rules) we went over the border to the “point of non return”. I know that was not right but it just happened.

Before the “critical moment” I thought fast:

Should I deposit my seed inside her and do things as God wants even if a pregnancy could be a risk for her life? Or should I withdraw and “do it wrong” in order not to risk her life?

This is not a theoretical case, this happened to us really and I do not know if in that case one commits a sin. I recall now the idea developed by some moralist in Vatican regarding and justifying the use of condoms in special situations: “one can transmit life, but also death”, therefore in that special situations the use of a condom might be allowed.

Regardless these last comments, I know that “coitus interrruptus” is sinful and an absolutely insecure method to prevent pregnancy, but my question is not about this. I would like to know if in that situation, the election of withdrawing in the very last moment being afraid of “transmitting” death, should be considered sinful and morally wrong, even if it is done in order to prevent a death risk.

Yes, one can argue that sin is not an option in that situation and that one can not do evil to get a good thing or to prevent something bad to happen. But is that really so? In that moment one does not choose to sin, one tries only to prevent a death risk consequence of that act. What I think is that, though serious matter, there is not total consent in that case.

Thanks for your comments,

Jose

 

[byzmelkite]

josea:

I would like to ask you something and I will try to be very careful and no to explicit in descriptions in this forum. My wife should not get pregnant again due to a serious risk for her life. We are using NFP to regulate our marital relations.

But one is not perfect and some times it is difficult to keep the necessary distance or control. This happened to us some days ago (also because my wife feels like mainly when we are banned by NFP rules) we went over the border to the “point of non return”. I know that was not right but it just happened.

Before the “critical moment” I thought fast:

Should I deposit my seed inside her and do things as God wants even if a pregnancy could be a risk for her life? Or should I withdraw and “do it wrong” in order not to risk her life?

This is not a theoretical case, this happened to us really and I do not know if in that case one commits a sin. I recall now the idea developed by some moralist in Vatican regarding and justifying the use of condoms in special situations: “one can transmit life, but also death”, therefore in that special situations the use of a condom might be allowed.

Regardless these last comments, I know that “coitus interrruptus” is sinful and an absolutely insecure method to prevent pregnancy, but my question is not about this. I would like to know if in that situation, the election of withdrawing in the very last moment being afraid of “transmitting” death, should be considered sinful and morally wrong, even if it is done in order to prevent a death risk.

Yes, one can argue that sin is not an option in that situation and that one can not do evil to get a good thing or to prevent something bad to happen. But is that really so? In that moment one does not choose to sin, one tries only to prevent a death risk consequence of that act. What I think is that, though serious matter, there is not total consent in that case.

Thanks for your comments,

Jose

It is best to talk with your spiritual director about this. However, I will give you a layman’s point of view. It is objectively wrong (and gravely so) to practice coitus interuptus. That being said, to pull out at the last minute due to great fear is likely a mitigating factor and could very well make the sin a venial sin. That being said, to deliberately plan to do it and try to rationalize it as being “done at the last minute” would be deceitful.

Personally, if I knew my wife was in great danger of being seriously harmed or killed due to pregnancy, I would simply give up sexual relations altogether until after menopause. Sex is not a necessity, we can live without it. I’ll keep you in my prayers, God bless.

 

[Ham1]

Byzmelkite nailed it. Undoubtedly, your culpability is lessened in this situation. Go to confession and mention it. And try to avoid going so close to the point of no return next time.

God bless.

 

[OneLife2live]

Regardless these last comments, I know that “coitus interrruptus” is sinful and an absolutely insecure method to prevent pregnancy, but my question is not about this. I would like to know if in that situation, the election of withdrawing in the very last moment being afraid of “transmitting” death, should be considered sinful and morally wrong, even if it is done in order to prevent a death risk.