Is this detraction? Help a newbie :)

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Hi y’all,

Ok - to give a quick background to help inform this post, I’m a new Catholic (confirmed 2/15) and it’s been quite the leap trying to understand these various nuances in sin. Now, to my question: is the below scenario considered detraction or just gossip?

A co-worker and myself were talking about some of the shortcomings of my boss, because she royally bumbles things to a degree that causes us both problems with our jobs. None of the faults disclosed or talked about to my coworker were unknown by him. He’s fully aware of everything that was said, but none of it could be considered to be talking about her in a positive fashion. Is it still detraction if the things revealed in the course of a conversation are already known by the other party? Trust me, I already know this isn’t a good practice, and it’s a steep mountain to climb to curb this behavior after decades of never having to be accountable for it. I’m just trying to see where on the spectrum of mortal or venial sin this falls.

Thanks!
 
Well, from my understanding, gossip is a sin. If things are said that could in any way hurt another’s reputation, or is not done in a constructive manner to correct a situation, it’s best not said.
 
Gossip can destroy a persons reputation and while that may not be the intent of your talk to your co worker should anyone else overhear you … That could be exactly what this does. I’d say lets stop doing that and see if we can find more constructive ways to help the boss perhaps? Or better ways to funnel your own frustrations
 
Really try to “defend” your boss and understand her situation. Someday, you might be a bungling boss.
 
I appreciate the replies, but it’s not answering my question about detraction.
 
crusading_crusaders said:
not answering my question
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Okay. You say that the other person already knew the specific unflattering information. Did you know that they knew before you spoke of it? If not, I would submit that you did commit the sin of detraction, or at least intended to. If not, I think you would need to talk to someone better versed in such matters. But even then, why talk about it? If you both knew, then it is just gossip, which may or may not be sinful in itself, but is a bad habit to get into IMHO.
 
Would you say it in front of her? If not, read Ephesians chapter 4:

No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.
30
And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31
All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice.
32
[And] be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ
 
crusading_crusaders said:
talking about some of the shortcomings of my boss, because she royally bumbles things to a degree that causes us both problems with our jobs.
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It really comes down to this: Was it necessary?

There have been several situations at work where it was necessary for me to discuss certain individuals. Especially if the issue was going to involve HR and the Union. Outside of a good reason, I’d say that it’s gossip and idle chatter.

Go to your Priest and get his opinion on the situation.
 
I’m all for being empathetic and giving folks the benefit of the doubt; however, I will not defend or shield my boss if I’m paying the price for their mistakes. Sometimes, you need to discuss the situation with a trusted coworker or shop steward and weigh your options.
 
Cruciferi said:
Sometimes, you need to discuss the situation with a trusted coworker or shop steward and weigh your options.
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Yes, if is done with a constructive intent. If it turns into bashing the boss, I think it’s wrong.
 
Sounds like a really unfortunate situation. I would at least once talk to the boss and give her a chance to respond. Then start writing a letter of complaint to HR…
 
Thanks again for all the replies. I don’t disagree that it’s wrong, and I shouldn’t be doing it. What I was more asking is that from my understanding of the CCC detraction has specific conditions (e.g. disclosing a truth to someone who didn’t need to know about another party that might negatively affect the person you told’s opinion of the third party). I know it’s gossip, but does gossip fall into detraction if the person you’re talking to already knows these faults (since they were also part of the situation)?
 
crusading_crusaders said:
Hi y’all,

Ok - to give a quick background to help inform this post, I’m a new Catholic (confirmed 2/15) and it’s been quite the leap trying to understand these various nuances in sin. Now, to my question: is the below scenario considered detraction or just gossip?

A co-worker and myself were talking about some of the shortcomings of my boss, because she royally bumbles things to a degree that causes us both problems with our jobs. None of the faults disclosed or talked about to my coworker were unknown by him. He’s fully aware of everything that was said, but none of it could be considered to be talking about her in a positive fashion. Is it still detraction if the things revealed in the course of a conversation are already known by the other party? Trust me, I already know this isn’t a good practice, and it’s a steep mountain to climb to curb this behavior after decades of never having to be accountable for it. I’m just trying to see where on the spectrum of mortal or venial sin this falls.

Thanks!
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No, that is not detraction.
 
If it’s something you need to discuss with a person who has a right to know, and if you do it in a spirit of charity without hatred, it’s not detraction.

Management does not always attract the best personality types. I have encountered several situations, including one boss who showed all the signs of narcissistic personality disorder. The employees have to be able to discuss what’s going on among themselves. I have heard all the fol-de-rol about how managers are under so much stress themselves, how they have to produce results, and so on, but at the end of the day, an employee can be fired at will, and can end up having their lives made into a living hell by a sadistic boss — been there, done that — but managers usually end up landing on their feet and come out smelling like a rose. Very often, they have “good people skills” (which is how they got to be managers in the first place) and they are able to work any situation to their advantage. Worker bees aren’t that fortunate.
 
My vote would be that it’s straight up gossip. I am guilty myself at times. Not detraction though.
 
crusading_crusaders said:
I know it’s gossip, but does gossip fall into detraction if the person you’re talking to already knows these faults (since they were also part of the situation)?
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No.
2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
  • of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;
  • of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
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This does seem like a venial sin, at least. Because even though the other person knows already, you are further reinforcing a negative reputation. As with all venial sins, they make more serious sins easier to fall into because of the habit (gossip); and while you don’t have to confess them (or even feel sorry for them) it is good to work on the opposing virtues. In this case, charity and the virtues attached to it.
 
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Is there a legitimate business need for you to speak in the manner that you do?
 
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