Is this possible for those with SSA?

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BrokenRoad

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Howdy guys. How’s life?

I was wondering what your guy’s opinion on something my family and I have been discussing recently, involving chaste men and women who have SSA. Do you think such men and women can, chastely and orderdly, have deep, emotionally full relationships with members of the same sex? We all know that a homosexuals emotions towards the same sex are not the sin, but how they act upon it. Thus, my question.

I think it can happen, in theory, if the persons in question are very devout to their faith and chastity. I think it would be a challenge, though.

To clarify what I mean, there are two youngish men who attend a local parish (not the one I attend, but I know them through our church’s connections) who once were involved in a sexual relationship. After one found God and told his partner he could no longer pursue the lifestyle they had, the man was dumbfounded for some time, before doing his own soul searching, and he too came home to the church.

Several years after, the two men say they feel for each other something different then they ever had. They love each other deeply, more deeply than they have another person they say, but they no longer feel the sexual need for each other they use to, thanks to God’s power. Although they do not live in the same house, they live close to each other, and you scarcely see one without the other and their families.

I find their story to be quite remarkable. To be able to overcome the occasion of sin, to love each other so much to NOT express that love physically, to be so close and still live chastely. It almost reminds me of my relationship with my best friend. She’s my other half. She knows everything about me, and the connection we feel for each other is deeper than almost anyone we know (save for our future husbands, of course 😉 ) But trying to imagine having that kind of relationship after overcoming a sexual attraction for each other is really something to think about.

Of course, not everyone I know finds it so inspirational. There are some in my parish who believe that for a homosexual person to even have friends of the same sex is asking for trouble, and to an extent, I can agree. We are called to be free from the occasion of sin, afterall. But for some, they’re blessed with an amazing strength and passion for God that can guide them through it easier than others.

So, what do you think? Can those with SSA experience deep, COMpassionate, platonic love? Or is the couple from the near parish a rare exception?
 
I agree with the above; it is possible, and for many would be a WONDERFUL reality, but I’m guessing it would be hard! I mean, I have a VERY good guy friend, who I can hang around all day and have no attraction to, but you’re talking about people who, in the past, have been sexually attracted to each other.

But hooray for your parish friends- that’s what we should all wish for people with SSA!
 
According to my confessor, sainthood is in the effort, not necessarily the result.

These to young men are making an effort. It probably was a huge effort to begin with.

They may yet fail in the future but with the sacrament of reconciliation they will be able to pick themselves up and keep trying.

The thing to keep in mind is that they aren’t thumbing their noses at the Church, they are trying to reconcile their orientation with Church teaching as best they can.

Anybody who condemns them for that should question his or her own Christian love and charity.
 
BrokenRoad said:
I was wondering what you guys’ opinion on something my family and I have been discussing recently, involving chaste men and women who have SSA. Do you think such men and women can, chastely and orderdly, have deep, emotionally full relationships with members of the same sex?

We all know that a homosexuals emotions towards the same sex are not the sin, but how they act upon it. Thus, my question.

I think it can happen, in theory, if the persons in question are very devout to their faith and chastity. I think it would be a challenge, though.
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I think it is possible, and chaste friendships with members of the same sex are often helpful in dealing with this struggle- and often some find that the degree of SSA is lessened once the need for chaste friendship with members of the same sex is met.
BrokenRoad said:
There are some in my parish who believe that for a homosexual person to even have friends of the same sex is asking for trouble, and to an extent, I can agree. We are called to be free from the occasion of sin, after all. But for some, they’re blessed with an amazing strength and passion for God that can guide them through it easier than others.
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You can’t just run away from every trial. Yes, people should avoid near occasions of sin- but trials can be helpful in overcoming struggles. I don’t think it’s a good idea for people with SSA to be close to people who struggle with it themselves & are struggling with chastity. I think it would be very helpful for chaste men who struggle with SSA to develop friendships with heterosexual men.
BrokenRoad said:
So, what do you think? Can those with SSA experience deep, COMpassionate, platonic love? Or is the couple from the near parish a rare exception?
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I think they are a rare exception, but the gay community encourages ways of thinking and viewing other people that don’t have much to do with being sexually active. For people with SSA to have this type of friendship, I think they must see the gay community for what it is, and totally reject it- ALL of it.
 
BrokenRoad said:
Howdy guys. How’s life?

I was wondering what your guy’s opinion on something my family and I have been discussing recently, involving chaste men and women who have SSA. Do you think such men and women can, chastely and orderdly, have deep, emotionally full relationships with members of the same sex? We all know that a homosexuals emotions towards the same sex are not the sin, but how they act upon it. Thus, my question.

I think it can happen, in theory, if the persons in question are very devout to their faith and chastity. I think it would be a challenge, though.

To clarify what I mean, there are two youngish men who attend a local parish (not the one I attend, but I know them through our church’s connections) who once were involved in a sexual relationship. After one found God and told his partner he could no longer pursue the lifestyle they had, the man was dumbfounded for some time, before doing his own soul searching, and he too came home to the church.

Several years after, the two men say they feel for each other something different then they ever had. They love each other deeply, more deeply than they have another person they say, but they no longer feel the sexual need for each other they use to, thanks to God’s power. Although they do not live in the same house, they live close to each other, and you scarcely see one without the other and their families.

I find their story to be quite remarkable. To be able to overcome the occasion of sin, to love each other so much to NOT express that love physically, to be so close and still live chastely. It almost reminds me of my relationship with my best friend. She’s my other half. She knows everything about me, and the connection we feel for each other is deeper than almost anyone we know (save for our future husbands, of course 😉 ) But trying to imagine having that kind of relationship after overcoming a sexual attraction for each other is really something to think about.

Of course, not everyone I know finds it so inspirational. There are some in my parish who believe that for a homosexual person to even have friends of the same sex is asking for trouble, and to an extent, I can agree. We are called to be free from the occasion of sin, afterall. But for some, they’re blessed with an amazing strength and passion for God that can guide them through it easier than others.

So, what do you think? Can those with SSA experience deep, COMpassionate, platonic love? Or is the couple from the near parish a rare exception?
Click to expand...
It is not only possible for those with SSA to have intimate friendships with others of the same sex that is not erotic, it is essential in getting rid of SSA for many men.

According to NARTH psychologist Dr. Nicolosi, the key to “reparative therapy” (a therapy indended to get rid of unwanted SSA), is going from erotic love to fraternal/brotherly love.

Dr. Nicolosi said:
“Very often, however, [male] homosexual clients report that when they begin to know another man intimately, their sexual interests in him diminishes. It is always, they report, the distant person who is sexually attractive.” (Reparative Therapy of the Male Homosexual page 120)

I have found this to be true in my own experience (I’m a male college student with SSA). I played football in high school, and found that my SSA was less during the football season when I was able to connect with my teammates. Other people may see a man with SSA playing football as a near occasion of sin, but it had a very positive effect on me.

I would recommend that everyone who reads this watches this video (17 minutes):
www.homosexuality101.com

I do think it is preferable that men with SSA bond with heterosexual men. Dr. Nicolosi said:
“Heterosexual, sexually attractive male friendships with men for whom the client feels an erotic attraction offer the greatest opportunity for healing. Only through such associations can there be the transformation from erotic attraction to true friendships-that is, the demystifying of the distant male.” (Reparative Therapy of the Male Homosexual pages 199-200)
 
Yes, this is possible and when God bestows his grace like he did with these two it’s a powerful reminder of what is possible with God, anything. I know there are some other celebate SSA caf members (I’ve seen some on family forums), though I haven’t met one personally.

I think that such people are truely blessed, and will likely have far greater rewards in heaven than I for the sacrafices they make for the Lord. God bless and keep them.
 
It has been possible for me for over 3 yrs after a 7 yr relationship. We began praying- more than usual. As our prayer life increased physical desire became obsolete. Woke up one day and realized God wanted us to make abstinence a conscious and deliberate choice.

We did. we receive the sacraments frequently, continue to pray individually and together. We have a very supportive pastor who was thrilled that we turned away from sin. he did caution that if scandal arose he would ask us to find another parish. But our parish family has embraced us. Not as a couple, but as two each called to life in the Lord and His Church.

We are finding more and more people like us. homo and heterosexual that the Holy Spirit is calling home. It seems so much is wrong in the world, but make no mistake the working of the Spirit is alive and well and even more powerful than all that is wrong.

Please pray for me, my friend and all who are on the return road home.
 
raaucoin said:
It has been possible for me for over 3 yrs after a 7 yr relationship. We began praying- more than usual. As our prayer life increased physical desire became obsolete. Woke up one day and realized God wanted us to make abstinence a conscious and deliberate choice.

We did. we receive the sacraments frequently, continue to pray individually and together. We have a very supportive pastor who was thrilled that we turned away from sin. he did caution that if scandal arose he would ask us to find another parish. But our parish family has embraced us. Not as a couple, but as two each called to life in the Lord and His Church.

We are finding more and more people like us. homo and heterosexual that the Holy Spirit is calling home. It seems so much is wrong in the world, but make no mistake the working of the Spirit is alive and well and even more powerful than all that is wrong.

Please pray for me, my friend and all who are on the return road home.
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First of all, thank you for your powerful witness, I can’t tell you how inspiring it truely is! The power of the spirit is great, and the rewards of cooperating with it are great! I truely believe what I wrote about spiritual rewards earlier, I think you and your (former) partner have a lot of great thinkgs waiting in heaven for you.

You are most certainly in my prayers, God bless!
 
Thank you for all of the positive posts. My exhusband suffers from SSA and believes the lies of the “politically correct”.
I gives me great hope that God will call him back home as he many of you.
God Bless!
 
BrokenRoad said:
Howdy guys. How’s life?

I was wondering what your guy’s opinion on something my family and I have been discussing recently, involving chaste men and women who have SSA. Do you think such men and women can, chastely and orderdly, have deep, emotionally full relationships with members of the same sex? We all know that a homosexuals emotions towards the same sex are not the sin, but how they act upon it. Thus, my question.

I think it can happen, in theory, if the persons in question are very devout to their faith and chastity. I think it would be a challenge, though.

To clarify what I mean, there are two youngish men who attend a local parish (not the one I attend, but I know them through our church’s connections) who once were involved in a sexual relationship. After one found God and told his partner he could no longer pursue the lifestyle they had, the man was dumbfounded for some time, before doing his own soul searching, and he too came home to the church.

Several years after, the two men say they feel for each other something different then they ever had. They love each other deeply, more deeply than they have another person they say, but they no longer feel the sexual need for each other they use to, thanks to God’s power. Although they do not live in the same house, they live close to each other, and you scarcely see one without the other and their families.

I find their story to be quite remarkable. To be able to overcome the occasion of sin, to love each other so much to NOT express that love physically, to be so close and still live chastely. It almost reminds me of my relationship with my best friend. She’s my other half. She knows everything about me, and the connection we feel for each other is deeper than almost anyone we know (save for our future husbands, of course 😉 ) But trying to imagine having that kind of relationship after overcoming a sexual attraction for each other is really something to think about.

Of course, not everyone I know finds it so inspirational. There are some in my parish who believe that for a homosexual person to even have friends of the same sex is asking for trouble, and to an extent, I can agree. We are called to be free from the occasion of sin, afterall. But for some, they’re blessed with an amazing strength and passion for God that can guide them through it easier than others.

So, what do you think? Can those with SSA experience deep, COMpassionate, platonic love? Or is the couple from the near parish a rare exception?
Click to expand...
If gay people are diffrent from straight people just because they are gay why are they still paying taxes i don’t think that there hard earned money should go to bigots that want to give them less rights just because they are gay.thats my opinion!
 
emilyt67 said:
If gay people are diffrent from straight people just because they are gay why are they still paying taxes i don’t think that there hard earned money should go to bigots that want to give them less rights just because they are gay.thats my opinion!
Click to expand...
I think you’ve accepted a host of false assumptions about homosexuality which is being sold by the culture at large. I think you’ll find, once you sit and do some research and fair cirtical thinking about the issue, that it’s a bill of goods. Regardless, this thread isn’t about “gay rights”. It’s about whether or not people with SSA can choose to live good, chaste lives in keeping with the teachings of Holy Mother Church. The answer is yes.
 
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