Is this pro-life or pro-choice?

[Crown_of_Stars]

To say to a woman who is afraid and not knowing if she should have an abortion… “I would never tell a woman she can’t have an abortion. She has to make that decision for herself.” The reason I am asking is that I am considering saying this, to, maybe, sound a little more respectful. What are your thoughts? Is saying this more pro-life, or does it gravitate toward pro-choice? Thanks.

 

[1ke]

“I would never tell a woman she can’t have an abortion. She has to make that decision for herself.”

replace “abortion” with just about anything else and it becomes obvious.

*I would never tell a woman she cannot rob a bank, that is a decision she has to make herself.

I would never tell a woman she cannot kill her 3 year old, that is a decision she has to make for herself.*

It’s absurd to think that telling a woman this is anything other than stating that abortion is a legitimate option, a moral thing to do.

Instead say, “Being a mom is scary, I’m here to help you, Mom. Don’t have an abortion. There are people who care about you and your baby. I care about you and your baby.”

And then be ready with resources such as a crisis pregnancy center. Many women report that when they reached out to people they WANTED someone to tell them not to do it, but when all their friends told them “it’s up to you…” they interpreted it as people not caring enough about them to step in and say “don’t do it”.

 

[AllieT]

Personally, I think it validates the fact that murder by abortion is even a legal choice to begin with. A person can’t choose to kill a 6-year-old…why should they be able to choose to kill a tiny little baby? It’s wonderful to want to be respectful and understanding to a woman in that position, though…I wish you the very best in finding the right words. I wish I had some to suggest!

 

[pianistclare]

Who are you aiming to respect?
Certainly not the unborn child, it sounds like.
You can’t tiptoe around this issue.
Abortion is murder. You can’t encourage anyone to do this…even indirectly.

 

[underacloud]

To say to a woman who is afraid and not knowing if she should have an abortion… “I would never tell a woman she can’t have an abortion. She has to make that decision for herself.” The reason I am asking is that I am considering saying this, to, maybe, sound a little more respectful. What are your thoughts? Is saying this more pro-life, or does it gravitate toward pro-choice? Thanks.

It is pro-choice. You are saying she has to make the decision for herself - that’s more or less the very diffinition of being “pro-choice”.

Try to find some supportive words, such as 1ke’s suggestion, that do not legitimise the idea of abortion as a decision she could make.

 

[Usige]

I have to agree with previous posters. When someone says “I can’t tell you what to do” that screams pro-choice to me. My wife and I used to be like that, “I wouldn’t have an abortion, but I wouldn’t prevent someone else if that is what’s right for them.” This is the same thing many pro-choice politicians say.

 

[Vanez]

To say to a woman who is afraid and not knowing if she should have an abortion… “I would never tell a woman she can’t have an abortion. She has to make that decision for herself.” The reason I am asking is that I am considering saying this, to, maybe, sound a little more respectful. What are your thoughts? Is saying this more pro-life, or does it gravitate toward pro-choice? Thanks.

What you wanted to say is pro-choice.

 

[robertmidwest]

To say to a woman who is afraid and not knowing if she should have an abortion… “I would never tell a woman she can’t have an abortion. She has to make that decision for herself.” The reason I am asking is that I am considering saying this, to, maybe, sound a little more respectful. What are your thoughts? Is saying this more pro-life, or does it gravitate toward pro-choice? Thanks.

Can you please be a little more specific? Are you talking about sidewalk counseling at a clinic? or 1-1 counseling at a crisis pregnancy center?

On the face of it, it comes across to me like a pro-choice argument.

 

[Regina7]

replace “abortion” with just about anything else and it becomes obvious.

*I would never tell a woman she cannot rob a bank, that is a decision she has to make herself.

I would never tell a woman she cannot kill her 3 year old, that is a decision she has to make for herself.*

It’s absurd to think that telling a woman this is anything other than stating that abortion is a legitimate option, a moral thing to do.

Instead say, “Being a mom is scary, I’m here to help you, Mom. Don’t have an abortion. There are people who care about you and your baby. I care about you and your baby.”

And then be ready with resources such as a crisis pregnancy center. Many women report that when they reached out to people they WANTED someone to tell them not to do it, but when all their friends told them “it’s up to you…” they interpreted it as people not caring enough about them to step in and say “don’t do it”.

Exactly.

 

[robertmidwest]

Who are you aiming to respect?
Certainly not the unborn child, it sounds like.
You can’t tiptoe around this issue.
Abortion is murder. You can’t encourage anyone to do this…even indirectly.

Maybe I am wrong, but i think she is trying to keep a dialogue open with someone contemplating an abortion.

OP, please correct me if I am wrong.

 

[caitlinm]

“I would never tell a woman she can’t have an abortion. She has to make that decision for herself.”.

This sounds like it came straight from the pro-choice handbook

 

[TarkanAttila]

The above statement would be pro-choice.

In other words, you are allowing this woman to have the “free will” to make her own decisions and choices.
Much like what God has done–given us all free will to make our own choices.

.

Very well. If someone is contemplating suicide, homicide, larceny, arson, heresy, genocide, and other crimes against humanity - including atheism - I guess I’ll just tell them “That’s for you to decide. God gave you a brain. Use it.”

It’s not entirely wrong. Conscience and freedom thereof is good, and discernment is key to being a free human being.

But to press a point, why is a person asking whether abortion is wrong? One of two reasons: either to seek emotional comfort that she would be doing the right thing in getting abortion (which is something I cannot give), or seeking someone to shock or pull or convince her out of doing it (which I can do).

Much better, all around, just to be frank and say, “You were once that child - foetus, whatever you like - in a womb like your mother’s. Your mother had no right to kill you. You have no right to kill that child.”

 

[Petaro]

Maybe I am wrong, but i think she is trying to keep a dialogue open with someone contemplating an abortion.

OP, please correct me if I am wrong.

I can understand the need to keep talking to someone contemplating an abortion. Like negotiators dealing with someone with a knife to the throat of their child in a hostage situation.
However, as so many other wise posts state, it is licit to stay mute when a person is contemplating a great crime which they will never recover from and involves the death of an innocent child? No.
You can certainly sympathise with her feelings of despair or anger at the circumstances that are leading her to contemplate murder. It is vital that anyone involved be open to whatever assistance they can offer to get her over this despair and hopelessness.
But you cannot say that you have no opinion on the issue without betraying your Christian belief in the sanctity of life and causing scandal when it could do so much damage.
Firm but kind reiteration of the sanctity of life and offers of wholehearted support is the better path.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

As others have stated, what you present is the “pro-choice” viewpoint.

More curiously though, what is it about the situation that would makes that seem more respectful?

 

[Mike_Dye]

I can’t add much to what has already been said, it is pro-abortion. Having said that, I would I would use all of the compassion possible because as you said, the woman is afraid and probably confused and under a lot of stress. I would refer her to something like “Project Rachael” or some pro-life crisis pregnancy center. Let her know that she is not alone in this and that you are there to support her pro-life decision.

 

[tawny]

Abortion is murder. You cannot be Catholic & Pro-Choice.

 

[on_the_hill]

Could it be rephrased as: “I don’t want you to have an abortion. It is wrong. I will pray that we find the way to convince you not to. But only you can stop yourself.”

 

[mountee]

Trying to find a way to make the statement you originally posted more respectful will not change the message you will send. Our secular world has made us fear saying things that are not politically correct, but we have to take a stand in some circumstances. I have many, many friends and family, some who call themselves Catholic, yet support a woman’s right to control her body. Stating my beliefs has not changed them at all and I have come to realize that my best course of action is to pray for their hearts to be turned back to God’s Truths. If I had a person who knew me well enough to discuss an abortion with me I would tell them my beliefs, offer to help them in any way possible and provide them as many resources as possible to help them make the right choice to protect the life that God gave them.

 

[on_the_hill]

Trying to find a way to make the statement you originally posted more respectful will not change the message you will send. Our secular world has made us fear saying things that are not politically correct,

Or is it that society has made it acceptable, preferable to hide from speaking openly and earnestly to one another in even the most mundane circumstances?

We soften our words, seek creative ways to slip verbally past the unpleasant. Even good friends are afraid of speaking openly to one another, so they don’t. “Does this make me look fat?” “Like my new car?” “I’m going to quit school.” “We’re having a baby! But neither of us are ready for marriage.” “I’m thinking about having an abortion.”

 

[pianistclare]

Maybe I am wrong, but i think she is trying to keep a dialogue open with someone contemplating an abortion.

OP, please correct me if I am wrong.

I know. That was my whole point. When a person comes to you for advice. they deserve the truth.