Is this realistic?

[Monica4316]

Something happened to me today…

I posted on these forums before about being tempted with blasphemous, profane thoughts about God.

For several days now, I’ve been having a real difficulty repenting of all the times I gave in to these temptations. It’s like I felt numb inside, and couldn’t see my sin… I either felt very guilty, or really indifferent.

Today, something happened. I feel that God gave me a grace… I feel very repentant for these sins, and I never want to fall into temptation again. I am sorry for all the times I gave in and chose to think the thoughts rather than fight, because the temptation was so great. I see that if I were to die now, I would die with this sin in my soul and would not be able to meet God with a pure heart. I also really believe that if I go to Confession, all this will be erased, and my soul will be clean again. I feel that God is merciful and I hope He will forgive even this. I feel this sin very heavily on my soul and I can’t wait for it to be gone forever.

The thing is… I REALLY don’t want to fall into these temptations again. These sins make me so miserable, they drive me further from God, and harden my heart towards Him. Even my conscience has been affected. I’m really sorry for these sins and I will confess them, but I’m so weak and I don’t know how to NOT fall into these temptations again!! the thought scares me a lot… I decided I’m going to try and rely on His grace and strength, and pray a lot. But my will is really weak…my will gives in, because of the pressure.

Do you think that it’s realistic to learn to resist temptation? How!!! I’m scared of hell and of losing God, and I want to be with Him forever… and I realize the ultimate decision rests with me… if I say ‘no’ to Him, I won’t be saved. But the thing is, my will has been SO weakened over these past 2 months, that I’m afraid I won’t persevere. During the past few days, it was already getting very dangerous, because I was without repentance for so long… I don’t want to go back there. If you get a chance, please say a prayer for me because I need a lot of strength for this battle!!

thanks

 

[brina1416]

I think we’ve all been in the same battle in dealing with our sins. Just give all your problems to the Lord. Continue to rely on him even when it’s to hard to do so. I’ve been struggling spiritually for some time now and continue to struggle with the same sins. It’s a hard battle but I believe you will prevail if you put your trust in the God. I know it’s easier said than done.Try talking this out with someone you trust like a priest at your parish or anyone that can help you and that you feel comfortable with. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[T_Hope]

Do you think that it’s realistic to learn to resist temptation? How!!! I’m scared of hell and of losing God, and I want to be with Him forever… and I realize the ultimate decision rests with me… if I say ‘no’ to Him, I won’t be saved. But the thing is, my will has been SO weakened over these past 2 months, that I’m afraid I won’t persevere. During the past few days, it was already getting very dangerous, because I was without repentance for so long… I don’t want to go back there. If you get a chance, please say a prayer for me because I need a lot of strength for this battle!!

thanks

Monica, you are in my prayers.
I’d like to share with you something I learned this weekend through prayer.

There’s a children’s song from the church I have belonged to for many years. It says
“I’m trying to be like Jesus …
and again it says I’m trying to love as He did …”
and again “I’m trying to love my neighbor …”

Monica, I love that song. It’s beautiful. But I realized that in all the years in the church I am leaving, TRYING wasn’t what was needed. I will never be like Jesus until I invite Jesus into my heart. He will change me. He IS changing me. I’m speaking to people differently than I did before this Lenten experience that has brought me to a new path. He is teaching me to love my neighbor. I am not “trying.” I can’t do it on my own. I am not that good of a person. But what I am trying to do is to let the Lord into my heart. And that is what has been missing in my life.

What I am trying to say is that you don’t have to “learn” to overcome these temptations on your own. Jesus will help you fight and resist the temptations to do what you do not want to do anymore.

God knows your heart. I will pray for you and with you. Don’t be afraid. You will overcome this. It IS a realistic goal - and Jesus will help you.

Hope

 

[Angels_Unaware]

Monica, I don’t recall reading any of your previous threads, but the way you describe your problem doesn’t sound to me as if you actually have a moral problem.

About 3% of the population has a problem with random, uncontrolled, distressing thoughts. If you aren’t willing the thoughts, (and it doesn’t sound like you are) then you have nothing to confess. Some people, like you, have profane thoughts that are blasphemous. Others have thoughts of doing random, insane things, like jumping out of window, even though they aren’t really tempted to jump out of a window and aren’t in any real danger of acting on the thought. Others have obsessions with the idea that they’ve run over a pedestrian while driving their car, or that they’ve left their oven on, and have to keep going back and checking. I remember reading a story about a woman who kept turning around and back tracking after she had driven half a mile because she was afraid she might have hit a pedestrian.

The vast majority of these people are mostly very normal and aren’t in any danger of behaving on their thoughts. They are not immoral people and are upset that they can’t keep this from happening. The problem is not within their conscious control, so they aren’t to blame. Most of the time the problem is a special kind of anxiety that expresses itself through obessive thinking.

There are other rare times when thoughts like this have a spiritual origin. But, the way you can tell whether this is a kind of spiritual attack or a physical problem with anxiety is by the context of the thoughts. Spiritual attacks often happen when you are drawing close to God in some very profound way.

Either way, whether the thoughts have a natural cause or a spiritual cause, they aren’t your fault. You aren’t to blame, and you do not need to confess sin.

 

[KS_On_The_Rock]

Monica,

You are resisting your urge to be with God, by thinking this way…Don’t be afraid…you are being tempted by the evil one and God knows this and expects this to happen to us. We have the power of over coming this sort of temptation by trusting that God knows our hearts, as some of the other posters have said previously.

Do not let your fears about your seperation with God get in the way of actually being with Him. Don’t let satan win by making you feel unworthy, or afraid that God will not forgive you if you truly mean it and ask him, because He will.

I recently felt myself in a similar position. I was living a life full of sin, and ashamed of myself for it and felt that I wasn’t worthy of forgiveness, and that led me to live in denial, keeping me away from the Lord. But this past Lenten season I too, have reconciled with my Lord. Placed my sins in his hands and asked for forgiveness. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still struggling but I keep trying! I am a newbie around here, but your post spoke to me and I thought I would share a little.

Don’t be afraid of God, he knows the very root of your thoughts and actions before you even acknowledged them. If you truly are not wanting to live your life that way, he knows this, and knows that you are struggling. Ask for his help, and don’t forget that we may try and try at something and never fully get there, but the point is we kept trying, and we kept fighting…that’s where your true heart is. God knows this, don’t let satan make you think otherwise.

May God Bless you and keep you in the palm of His hand. :hug3:

KS.

 

[Rawb]

Monica I would really investigate what Angels Unaware has said. Harming Disorders are a type of OCD; people can get fixated on an idea of pain for themselves or others even when they don’t want to. I read a case once where a woman constantly had thoughts about harming her infant children for example.

It can be helped with therapy; I would suggest counseling, even if just once or twice to help determine if you have this. If so it is not a sin, and it is not your fault. I will pray for you.

 

[JaredR]

Monica, I was thinking today that maybe the unwanted thoughts are a red herring to divert your attention from the enemy’s real assault. Maybe the real temptation you are facing is the temptation to doubt the mercy of God. Hell, loss, the unforgivable sin, and the idea of God having removed Himself from you seem to be constant themes in your posts. Remember that trusting in His mercy is not presumption, pride, or a luxury; Jesus told St. Faustina that He is hurt when we don’t put our confidence in His mercy.

Just a thought.

 

[sinnegam]

Monica,

You are resisting your urge to be with God, by thinking this way…Don’t be afraid…you are being tempted by the evil one and God knows this and expects this to happen to us. We have the power of over coming this sort of temptation by trusting that God knows our hearts, as some of the other posters have said previously.

Do not let your fears about your seperation with God get in the way of actually being with Him. Don’t let satan win by making you feel unworthy, or afraid that God will not forgive you if you truly mean it and ask him, because He will.

I recently felt myself in a similar position. I was living a life full of sin, and ashamed of myself for it and felt that I wasn’t worthy of forgiveness, and that led me to live in denial, keeping me away from the Lord. But this past Lenten season I too, have reconciled with my Lord. Placed my sins in his hands and asked for forgiveness. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still struggling but I keep trying! I am a newbie around here, but your post spoke to me and I thought I would share a little.

Don’t be afraid of God, he knows the very root of your thoughts and actions before you even acknowledged them. If you truly are not wanting to live your life that way, he knows this, and knows that you are struggling. Ask for his help, and don’t forget that we may try and try at something and never fully get there, but the point is we kept trying, and we kept fighting…that’s where your true heart is. God knows this, don’t let satan make you think otherwise.

May God Bless you and keep you in the palm of His hand. :hug3:

KS.

KS you may be a newbie but I like the stuff you write and the way you write it!! …keep it up and God Bless

 

[KS_On_The_Rock]

Thanks Sinnegam,

I’ve been enjoying the forum now for a couple of weeks, and learning quite a lot. It’s so comforting to read conversations between people who feel the same way I do, and I suppose I am now finding the courage to post too

God Bless you as well, and thanks again. :flowers:

KS