Is this Scrupulosity or OCD or something else?

[phil8888]

Hi, I hope I am writing this in the right category. I have been a Catholic all my life and hope to continue to be so, but I have a problem and I was wondering if someone could help me out. I have had symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder, in which I will think scary thoughts and have to sometimes perform certain actions to “check” to make sure something doesn’t happen. A lot of times these do not make sense, like moving my foot a certain way, and I have to repeat it often many many times over and over.

Anyway, sometimes I do not perform an action but rather a thought enters my head which I find difficult to remove, and I think about it, and it scares me and I don’t want to think about it, and I sort of try so hard not to think about it, that I sometimes dare myself, or say it to myself on purpose just to get a reaction and I hate it and it disturbs me a lot.

Anyway, sometimes this takes the form of religion. And as with most things associated with OCD, the less sense it makes, often it bothers me the most.

I really want to be a good Catholic and follow the teachings of the Church, but I get these thoughts that I hate. Often, it will be a particular religion, and they have run the gamut. I’ll start thinking, I don’t want to think about that religion, I don’t like that religion… but why don’t I? Then I get mad at myself, and then it’s like I continuously try to suppress thinking I might like that religion which causes more and more stress… anyway, this has happened with a LOT of different religions, including Mormonism, Wicca, and currently Islam.

I never actually participate in any rituals of these religions and do not read about them or anything, but just trying to stop myself from thinking about them scares me. I do not want to ever lose my Catholic faith, and sometimes thoughts scare me. It’s sort of a pattern. I dont want to think about it, but then while trying to suppress it, I almost on purpose think certain distressing thoughts almost like I want to disturb myself… but I really don’t…

Anyway, I know a lot of people who actually read this huge message will not understand this and think it’s really weird. If anyone has any suggestions or help for this, please let me know. I want to achieve holiness through my Catholic Faith.

 

[MarcoPolo]

It sounds like scrupulosity AND OCD! But if you feel your Catholic faith is strong, I would go ahead and learn what these religions teach…as long as your understanding of the Catholic faith is sound, then once you “know” about the other ones, they won’t intimidate. Maybe start with some of the books from shop.Catholic.com that are about those religions. That’s probably a great way to do it.

 

[chsngtailodogma]

i KNOW what you MEAN. i think my OCD has spawned my scrupulosity. is that a word? as a child i had many many OCD tendencies. as an adult, i no longer had to tap my feet in certain rhythms or sharpen my pencil so many turns (back in the day of manual pencil sharpeners!) and my soul could not rest until i was certain that i had sneezed an even number of times in a day. sounds lame. i KNOW!

as an adult, i no longer have these weird… tendencies. sometimes when i am, say, washing a window, i find myself counting the number of circular motions i make with the rag, how many times i spray the bottle, etc. but i can stop at any number i choose and i don’t feel impending doom over it.

i do think that it has resulted in my being scrupulous though. it’s a similar type of nagging burden. my confessor has said it, my friends have said it, my family has said it. i am a person of many scruples. there seems to be a thin, almost nonexistent line between venial and mortal. you could literally go nuts. most often i’ll go to confession only to find out my laundry list of “sins” aren’t even sins at all.

maybe just remember something that i’ve been telling myself that’s kind of been working. it’s good to be scrupulous, but trust in God. God doesn’t seek to micromanage us. Just do the best you can without driving yourself mad.

maybe if it would make you feel any better, you could read books on these religions written by a catholic. it’s not unnatural or wrong to be curious about other cultures or religions, but just be careful about who you are getting the information from. if you are catholic, then trust a catholic author to teach you what they’re about. for me, studying other religions has only made me more appreciative and faithful to my own.

good luck!

 

[baltobetsy]

Sounds like a textbook case of OCD, which is causing scrupulosity. I know someone who suffered terribly from both. When he was correctly diagnosed with OCD and given the appropriate medications, both the OCD and the scrupulosity came under control.
Please see your doctor for help.

Betsy

 

[Fizendell]

Phil,

The September issue of Ligourian has an article specifically addressing your issue. Great timing, huh? If you are looking to see if you’re the “only one” - you are not. So many people suffer from OCD to varying degrees and being scrupulous seems to be a common offshoot.

I have struggled a great deal with scrupulosity since returning to the Church two and a half years ago, and rest assured there are many resources out there for you - including a trusted confessor. I believe that’s the most important piece. Every book and article about scrupulosity will tell you to get a good confessor - explain what you’re dealing with and ask for help. If OCD is truly present in your life (and the compulsions are a strong sign of it) perhaps a Catholic therapist/psychologist would be helpful as well. Cognitive therapy can do wonders for the OCD and give you another avenue for the scruples - especially if you begin to think you’re taking too much of your priest’s time discussing “minor” things that seemed REALLY major in your head!! (Like me.)

In the meantime, if you’re a reader, the past issues of Scrupulous Anonymous are available here: mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm. Plus, the book “Understanding Scrupulosity” by Father Thomas Santa did true wonders for my understanding and slow recovery from scrupulosity.

God’s blessings on you as you work through this journey!

 

[brigid12]

Sounds like a textbook case of OCD, which is causing scrupulosity. I know someone who suffered terribly from both. When he was correctly diagnosed with OCD and given the appropriate medications, both the OCD and the scrupulosity came under control.
Please see your doctor for help.

Betsy

ditto!