Is This Weird?

[Irish_Girl_68]

A lot of good points here, particularly in regards to the chaperoning aspect. I do know my sister and her husband have met the boy’s parents but they aren’t closely connected. From my perspective, I think the parents making my niece so much a part of their family functions, etc gives the message that these parents consider this a stable, long term relationship. Neither kid (most likely) is ready for this, so why treat her as you would a daughter-in-law or fiancee? While I have no reason to think (nor does her mother to my knowlege) these parents are encouraging any type of inappropriate physical relationship, I do question the wisdom of having so few emotional boundaries, particularly at this age. I think it could well mean a lot of unintended heartache down the road if and when this relationship ends. Just my two cents.

 

[EasterJoy]

A lot of good points here, particularly in regards to the chaperoning aspect. I do know my sister and her husband have met the boy’s parents but they aren’t closely connected. From my perspective, I think the parents making my niece so much a part of their family functions, etc gives the message that these parents consider this a stable, long term relationship. Neither kid (most likely) is ready for this, so why treat her as you would a daughter-in-law or fiancee? While I have no reason to think (nor does her mother to my knowlege) these parents are encouraging any type of inappropriate physical relationship, I do question the wisdom of having so few emotional boundaries, particularly at this age. I think it could well mean a lot of unintended heartache down the road if and when this relationship ends. Just my two cents.

This does make it harder for the couple to break up, no question about it. The mother might simply respond by saying, “Too much togetherness can lead you to lose your sense of yourselves, not just at your age, but at any age. Jeremy needs to have family time and time with his friends without you, and you need to have family time and social time without him. Trust me on this one. He has lovely folks, I don’t mind you spending time with them, but we would be wise to put a limit on it, and balance it, for your sake and for Jeremy’s.”

Ensuring that her daughter maintains social relationships outside her relationship with her boyfriend will make chastity easier, too. The more that a young person has a sense of themselves outside being part of a “couple”, the more they will be able to set their own boundaries in spite of a moment of weakness or temptation their boyfriend or girlfriend is going through. This is particularly true of girls.

 

[HolyRosaryChild]

Given your sister is 17 years of age, I would strongly advise that your Parents and Self regularly keep up with your Sister during each week and discourage lengthy stays at the boy’s place until they have been seeing one another for a year or two. This would decrease the risk of pregnancy if she is in a full relationship; particularly if she is still studying at school and/or is starting out in life (still a baby) emotionally!

There is plenty of time for both of them and further, have your Parents dropped into the Family home at times without notice when they are not at their Lake vacational home? Checking out their family way of living and so forth. If there has been a significant disruption in her studies or work with the amount of time residing at their place over the past 6 months, it may be advisable for your Parents to lovingly, patiently and firmly intervene.

It may be a good idea to pose a question to her in relation to an event that if your sister’s relationship is ever terminated, who is going to be there for her in future? Reinforce to your Sister that her own Family in all probability will be the most loving, supportive and caring people in her life at any time in her future. Your Sister owes it to your Parents and Self to be respectful and loving of that fact and respect your Parents wishes at this time in her young life.

 

[HolyRosaryChild]

Sincere apologies IrishGirl, just read your Post that it is your Neice and not your Sister.
(have only had 2 hours sleep in 24 hours and should not be posting this tired)!

Best wishes with your Family