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sanctamaria17
Guest
If you are of a certain ethnicity and a friend is also the same, is it wrong to use an ethnic slur as a term of affection for each other?
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J
Just_wondering
Guest
I don’t think so. I’m white (and a minority here in Korea), and my friends and I call each other “honky” all the time. I wouldn’t do it in front of someone I didn’t know very well, but I don’t see the harm in it.
I’d say it’s the same as self depreciating humour. Families joke about their quirks - why can’t larger groups do the same? Catholics can make Catholic jokes, but other religions should be told to knock it off. In the same way, we can make racist jokes about our own race to our heart’s content, but shouldn’t insult other races. That’s my take on it, anyway.
I’d say it’s the same as self depreciating humour. Families joke about their quirks - why can’t larger groups do the same? Catholics can make Catholic jokes, but other religions should be told to knock it off. In the same way, we can make racist jokes about our own race to our heart’s content, but shouldn’t insult other races. That’s my take on it, anyway.
I
iamrefreshed
Guest
I do think it is wrong. It sets a bad example.
What if you should you be overheard? Imagine someone who does not realize the nuances of the words you use later using them.
Why do it in the first place? Substitute nice words. Jesus called His followers brother and sister, not jewish slurs.
What if you should you be overheard? Imagine someone who does not realize the nuances of the words you use later using them.
Why do it in the first place? Substitute nice words. Jesus called His followers brother and sister, not jewish slurs.
P
puzzleannie
Guest
as in morally wrong? not necessarily, depends on context and tone. is it prudent? to me, IMO only, it denotes lack of respect first for oneself, then for one’s friend, and by extension for one’s family and culture. even self-deprecating humor is a negative because there is the danger in coming to believe the bad image it conveys, but sharing that slur which may be used as a means of denigrating an entire class of persons goes beyond self-deprecation.If you are of a certain ethnicity and a friend is also the same, is it wrong to use an ethnic slur as a term of affection for each other?
D
duskyjewel
Guest
I used to think that black people calling each other the “n” word was hypocritical. Until I caught myself jokingly calling a friend the “b” word. It’s the same thing. The group takes a hurtful word and drains it of its power to hurt them by making it a joke. My DH and I tease each other about having “white trash” families all the time.
I think it’s OK, as an affectionate joke. If you mean it hurtfully, then it’s not OK. And if I, as a white person, were to call a black person the “n” word, of course that would be off limits. There some things groups can do within the group that outsiders can’t do. Fair or not, I don’t think it’s wrong.
I think it’s OK, as an affectionate joke. If you mean it hurtfully, then it’s not OK. And if I, as a white person, were to call a black person the “n” word, of course that would be off limits. There some things groups can do within the group that outsiders can’t do. Fair or not, I don’t think it’s wrong.
C
Catholic90
Guest
Depends on their relationship. My white son has a very good friend who is Black. They call each other racial slurs affectionately. They have been friends since kindergarten and love doing this in front of others to watch their initial reactions. Then they come home and laugh and laugh and laugh!I used to think that black people calling each other the “n” word was hypocritical. Until I caught myself jokingly calling a friend the “b” word. It’s the same thing. The group takes a hurtful word and drains it of its power to hurt them by making it a joke. My DH and I tease each other about having “white trash” families all the time.
I think it’s OK, as an affectionate joke. If you mean it hurtfully, then it’s not OK. **And if I, as a white person, were to call a black person the “n” word, of course that would be off limits. There some things groups can do within the group that outsiders can’t do. **Fair or not, I don’t think it’s wrong.
C
Chovy
Guest
I don’t see a problem with it provided the people would not object to others calling them by the same name. For instance. My brother and I or my husband and I occasionally call each other Stubborn ((insert shortened ethnicity here). I wouldn’t care if other people called me that so IMO it’s fair game.
K
kage_ar
Guest
In private - maybe… in public, it is imprudent and could hurt someone else. Be an example in your speech and manner - be salt and light to this world!
M
Miserissima
Guest
Disclaimer: this post ended up longer than I wanted it to be…and will tell you more about myself than anywhere else I’ve posted on this forum (or even the Internet).
When I was in Basic Training, a person who used a slur in an act of solidarity with another - wow, he was “smoked,” i.e. meant to do exercises until he he was exhausted, as a lesson to us all that, “In here’s we’re all green, get over this kind of division among yourselves and all focus on being soldiers.” Ironically, the Drill Sergeant was of the same race as the person who made the slur. It was an act of social conditioning, but it has stuck with me ever since.
I also want to share a story about Maya Angelou:
Now, I am in a mixed-race marriage. I cannot stand to hear any slurs even used among my in-laws, even when they think I don’t know what they’re saying in another language. I will correct them – in their own language. This is a slur-free household.
We have had roommates that cross the rainbow of ethnicities and races (once we had an African American man, a Peruvian female, my Asian husband and my Caucasian self sharing the house all at once – two rooms to let here plus the master bedroom for us). If there was a personality conflict, or a conflict with chores, that conflict was addressed without race being brought up. And if anyone had friends come over, their friends were warned that this is one of my cardinal rules.
I do not mean to say that we haven’t discussed race, stereotyping, and the power of words over the dinner table. We all just didn’t agree – and it didn’t matter, because we are free people subject to our experiences.
But in this house we’re all children of God - Galatians 3:28: There can be neither Jew nor Greek [addresses race/ethnicity/language], there can be neither bond nor free, there can be no male and female; for ye all are one man in Christ Jesus. I extend the same hospitality to our guests who worship God differently that we do, as well.
I feel that I need to explain that this is not a Utopian household, and neither is the household run linke a commune. What you say and do outside of this house is your business. If you need to use those words to identify with other folks for whatever reason - go ahead.
But in here, we are our own extended family unit as long as we live together, and divisive words undermine the solidarity of this house. If you need to use them elsewhere, be my guest. But no, not here. Not around me, and I can’t ever justify using them, either. It causes unnecessary separation among God’s people, and not welcome here.
When I was in Basic Training, a person who used a slur in an act of solidarity with another - wow, he was “smoked,” i.e. meant to do exercises until he he was exhausted, as a lesson to us all that, “In here’s we’re all green, get over this kind of division among yourselves and all focus on being soldiers.” Ironically, the Drill Sergeant was of the same race as the person who made the slur. It was an act of social conditioning, but it has stuck with me ever since.
I also want to share a story about Maya Angelou:
from where I lifted this quote, I was just looking for the quote and that’s where I found it.]In the words of Maya Angelou, “Courage is crucial because without it, you won’t be able to be consistent with your other values. I suggest you develop courage the same way you develop muscle. You develop a muscle by doing small things first.” And following her own advice, she makes it a point not to stay in a room where racially offensive comments are made. When she was younger, all she would do was leave the room without comment. Now she is more likely to speak up, where she does so eloquently as a professor of American Studies at Wake Forest University. [Ignore http://forums.catholic-questions.org/www.commonboundaries.com/a_wise_women.html”]the link
Now, I am in a mixed-race marriage. I cannot stand to hear any slurs even used among my in-laws, even when they think I don’t know what they’re saying in another language. I will correct them – in their own language. This is a slur-free household.
We have had roommates that cross the rainbow of ethnicities and races (once we had an African American man, a Peruvian female, my Asian husband and my Caucasian self sharing the house all at once – two rooms to let here plus the master bedroom for us). If there was a personality conflict, or a conflict with chores, that conflict was addressed without race being brought up. And if anyone had friends come over, their friends were warned that this is one of my cardinal rules.
I do not mean to say that we haven’t discussed race, stereotyping, and the power of words over the dinner table. We all just didn’t agree – and it didn’t matter, because we are free people subject to our experiences.
But in this house we’re all children of God - Galatians 3:28: There can be neither Jew nor Greek [addresses race/ethnicity/language], there can be neither bond nor free, there can be no male and female; for ye all are one man in Christ Jesus. I extend the same hospitality to our guests who worship God differently that we do, as well.
I feel that I need to explain that this is not a Utopian household, and neither is the household run linke a commune. What you say and do outside of this house is your business. If you need to use those words to identify with other folks for whatever reason - go ahead.
But in here, we are our own extended family unit as long as we live together, and divisive words undermine the solidarity of this house. If you need to use them elsewhere, be my guest. But no, not here. Not around me, and I can’t ever justify using them, either. It causes unnecessary separation among God’s people, and not welcome here.
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