What about when I believed and regularley attended Confession and regularly prayed? He was letting me “go it alone” which has nothing to do with the “choices” Ive made. Ive never experienced any actions, which is what real love is supposed to be, not just fuzzy feelings.
Many believers’ definition of love is ultimately action, but when it comes to God, fuzzy feelings will suffice as proof for his existence. Double standard.
By the way, inabiliy to believe doesnt seem like a choice, because without proper communication, Ive been left with no choice but to see there isnt anyone there.
Which seems like you believed in the so-called “prosperity gospel” - that God will shower those He loves with material things in this life. See, here’s the thing. Many times I’ll pray (sometimes daily for weeks or even months) for something, and I don’t get what I ask for. And then, I ask God, “Why? Why did you tell me no?” This is especially true if I think what I want is what God wants. But… God’s time is not our time. And, as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta once said, “God does not expect me to be successful - as far as human success is concerned. God expects me to be faithful.”
Regardless, from your text, it seems like you
want to believe, but have felt so rejected by God that you have lost faith in Him. Is this the case? Because if it is, I apologize for all of us Christians who have let down our fellow human being, who the Father created and Jesus died for. It’s our fault - not God’s, nor yours, but ours. And, though I don’t know you personally, and have probably never crossed paths with you - I’ve let countless people down myself who God has sent me to help, and I’ve just ignored (probably just by not even noticing their existence). And so have all of us. And for that, I’m sorry. Because God really does love you, but the only way to experience God’s love is (a) when you’re in need, have someone show God’s love to you, and (b) when you see someone else in need, be the love of God for them.
Love is more than a feeling, it’s more than an action, it’s more than a choice. But what is true about love is that when you perform loving actions for others, you grow in love for them. And when you stop perfoming loving actions for others, you lose your love for them. As such, love is like a living, breathing organism. If you feed the love with actions, it grows and spreads. If you stop feeding love with actions, it will shrivel and die.
