Is what I did considered gossip?

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Hawkeye916

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My in-laws are quite suffering during this Coronavirus craziness and I shared with a few friends the situation.

Namely, One brother in law was supposed to be married in May and that might not happen because he’s in the military and because of the virus he probably won’t be coming home at the time he asked off. Another brother in law might be losing his job because of the virus and only “high priority” people are being kept. Another brother in law is sick (don’t know if it’s Cornona or not but he came in close contact with someone who tested positive. And a sister in law is 36 weeks pregnant and is having some concerning symptoms and high amniotic fluid and that’s not good…

Anyway, I shared this info with two close friends and especially the situation regarding the posponed marriage. I just said how bad I felt for her (the future sister in law) and how I know how hard it must be for her. I can’t imagine all the work she put into a wedding just to have it canceled. And having planned a wedding myself I know how much time, effort and money goes into it. Also that she had had a few bumps in the road regarding the planning and re-scheduling before the virus hit. And I added just to pray for them during this time. Anyway, afterwards I kinda thought maybe I had just gossiped and needed to go to confession. I don’t know, would what I did constitute gossip? I mean it has nothing to do with diminishing her as a person. It was more of talking about a terrible situation she is in.
 
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My non-expert, non-priestly opinion: The difference between conveying news about others and outright gossip lies within your heart. If you are quietly pleased with someone’s misfortune and decide to spread the news, it’s gossip.

Also, there’s a difference between malicious gossip and just not having a commonsense filter in place. For example, just be sure that your sister-in-law doesn’t mind her private health information with your “few friends.”
 
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From what I’ve been counseled by some good & Holy priests, gossip is talking to people about someone else who isn’t there in a way that would misrepresent the person in a way that would hurt their reputation or cause them harm. If you wouldn’t say it directly to them, then you shouldn’t be saying it to others.

I don’t think what you did was gossip.
 
Here is the thing, “gossip” is giving information about other people that they may not wish to share. It is impolite.

What is sinful is:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
  • of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;
  • of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.280

[2479]( Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor . Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

Read more: Catechism of the Catholic Church - PART 3 SECTION 2 CHAPTER 2 ARTICLE 8
 
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