Issue with a girl I asked out

[TheRiver]

See what I mean…if people here who aren’t in my position have entirely different views what am I meant to make of it?

People have read me wrong, I really do want it as a date, I really like the girl, I thought it was initially and then I thought ok maybe I got the wrong impression by reading her wrong. I am going to go.

The reason I changed was not for any old thing, plus we didn’t have a definitive date, we just agreed for the ‘weekend’ at first.

Err yes I like to talk instead of texting, but she won’t pick up, infact when I asked her if I could call her she didn’t respond back. I didn’t overcall no, if she doesn’t want to pick up I don’t want to bother her, if she doesn’t want me to call, I won’t.

I can only be so bold and original if she only allows me to talk to her, there’s a joke here somewhere and it’s on me.

 

[TheRiver]

I would also say (not that it is likely to happen at my age) if a guy asked me out on a first date, and later changed the day and time, I would be questioning the priority he was putting on the event.

I am putting a lot of priority on the event, I infact skipped uni one day to clean out my car, buy her chocolates and etc. The reason I re-arranged the date was because I had a retreat on the weekend which I completely forgot because I was excited when I asked her out.

Thing is she won’t ever know that she may think I just don’t care.

 

[jrabs]

I am putting a lot of priority on the event, I infact skipped uni one day to clean out my car, buy her chocolates and etc. The reason I re-arranged the date was because I had a retreat on the weekend which I completely forgot because I was excited when I asked her out.

Thing is she won’t ever know that she may think I just don’t care.

Then you are gonna have to wow her when you actually go out. date.

That’s another thing. If I had a man asking me out and then alluding to it not really being a date - suggesting at it or even hinting that it really does not have to be a date, (even though he wants it as a date), then I’d be completely turned off.

Women want to know that a man really wants to spend time with them. Why else would she bother?

Let’s call a spade a spade. If you are asking her out ( or any woman for that matter) and you have romantic interests in her, then call it a date and let her know it’s a date. Take command of the situation.

 

[TheRiver]

Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no.

If you aren’t “sure” it’s a date, what is she to think? You are the one who has treated it very casually-- changing the date, being tentative with the plans.

Be firm in your plans. Make a date and don’t change it. If you don’t treat the date with importance, it is the same as not treating her with importance.

What’s your problem with this? She is wanting to spend time with you.

You are paranoid and you are going to drive her away if you keep acting like this.

Make a plan, go on the date, call her up after and ask her out again if you like her. Don’t be wishy-washy and insecure.

You are right, I should have been my level headed self before I asked her out, don’t know what got into me, I was indeed reading between the lines, I guess that’s what happens when you read too much poetry

Thanks for the to-the-point post 1ke, and jrabs and everyone else who posted. Now I just hope she isn’t a member of this forum.

 

[ack]

See what I mean…if people here who aren’t in my position have entirely different views what am I meant to make of it?

If people have entirely different views of what’s happening…then this means that you need to stop analyzing the situation and just go on the date! Don’t worry about the other stuff until then. During the date, pay attention to how she treats you, and you will have a better guess if she likes you or not.

 

[chevalier]

Err yes I like to talk instead of texting, but she won’t pick up, infact when I asked her if I could call her she didn’t respond back. I didn’t overcall no, if she doesn’t want to pick up I don’t want to bother her, if she doesn’t want me to call, I won’t.

She isn’t all that into you. Either she has some agenda (wanting or not wanting to make a specific impression) or she’s feeling pushed.

 

[ralwig88]

I know my previous comment didn’t get much looking in to, but I really highly recommend spending just 10 minutes praying to God about this…

what does He think about this?

What does He think about what’s best for you?

What does He think about what’s best for this girl?

In fact, what do you think about what’s best for this girl?

Just a really quick insight into my story, I had always thought I might be called to the vocation of being married. It was only about 3 years ago that I spent Lent praying whether I should become a priest - I had never offered this to God before.

In August later that year, I met a girl, we dated, fell in love, got married a year later and have already been blessed with a baby girl!

The moral of the story for me was: God knows best. Getting to trust that is the hardest part!

I’ll say some prayers for you and for everyone in your exact position

Brendan

 

[jman507]

The less you think about all of this the better. If it’s going to work, chances are it’ll work despite a lot of things going wrong. If it’s not going to work, then chances are no matter how spectacularly everything is set up probably won’t help. Heck for that matter, Whatevergirl’s husband brought up marriage when they first met at a party, now that’s a big no-no. If she wants a relationship, trip ups won’t matter. If she wants a choreographer, then yes that might matter.