Issues with old friends and their view on Catholicism & God

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Jubilant

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Well hello everyone! I am not in a good state at all right now, and I figured I could bring this to all of you to see if you can help me.

I am in sort of a crisis with my old “friends.” A bit of background: I am going to be a junior in college, and I used to be very close with them because I, ahem, would partake in activities that I now admonish. As well, in high school I was very much a doubting Catholic, but in college when I met my current boyfriend he led me back into the church and I am fully devoted to God.

But it doesn’t seem my friends think it’s a good thing. When I posted a status on Facebook on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade about remembering those who have been aborted, two of my friends said it was extremely offensive and hurtful of me to post it and that it didn’t matter that it was because of my faith in God that I didn’t believe in abortion. They went on to say that they felt like being more religious was making me “boring” and “not as fun as I was back in high school.”

More recently, I was speaking to a friend who had recently broken up with her boyfriend and was distressed because she “hadn’t had sex in over two months.” When I suggested that she should focus this time on God and finding someone who she could cultivate an actual loving relationship with someone that wasn’t based around sex, she flipped out on me, stating that “just because it works for you doesn’t mean it does for me; we’re different people. And besides, I don’t want God in my life right now because I don’t need Him.”

Finally, one of my friends posted a video on his wall that made fun of the sex abuse issues in the Catholic Church, I commented that I didn’t think it was very funny because it was very insensitive towards the victims (and extremely crude). Well, he and his friend told me that I wasn’t upset by the victims but because I was a Catholic and basically thought the abuse and the Vatican’s response was okay because I didn’t leave the church when it happened.

So I am distressed, fellow believers. These are some of the people I used to view as my closest friends, but now they can’t seem to accept my changing beliefs. I’ll admit, one of the reasons I have stayed connected with them was because I felt I might be able to help at least one of them to stop the “activities” that they still partake in and see how it’s destroying their lives. But now it feels hopeless as they continually admonish my beliefs but will not accept my beliefs even as an opinion (I have been told before that I am flat out “wrong” for believing some of the things I believe).

I have prayed so many times on this matter, but I am really in need of an opinion of what to do. Do I stay or do I go?

God bless you if you’ve read through all of my ramblings, =]. I appreciate anything or any advice you can give me.
 
Hi, Jubilant !
I can understand how you are distressed. What I ‘see’ in what you described are people that may be afraid that your influence will change them. They are insecure now, and have not evolved as you have. Do not take their comments to heart, nor argue with them. They have not yet learned what you have, and don’t understand how you could have changed so much without their influence. They don’t want to leave their ways, because they still see it as ‘fun’. Take this opportunity to continue to show them a better way by example. They will be curious of why you’re always happy, are confident and strong. Pray for them and give them kindness. You are kind to be concerned. They need to do the changing in their own time, and with our help through prayers, it will come soon. Be patient, and continue your faith. I am happy for you, that you had the strength to break away from ‘the group’. May God bless you!
 
As a Christian it is your duty to make God known to all. We are all called to evangelize ,so that the possiblity of salvation will be open to all. Once you’ve done that, you can wash your hands- because since you’ve told them the good news their salvation is totally in thier hands.
As far as the nasties coming out in people-if they spit on the Lord and laughed at Him why would you expect any different.? The Gospel of John says we are to be cognizant to the fact that if this happened to the second person of the Trinity what makes us think that if we are true to Him the same won’t happen to us?
They are also showing a great deal of rudeness an insensitivity. Why should their opinions be respected and not yours? What makes them so darn sure that they have all the answers?
Youthful Hubris has alot to do with it, we can only hope that they get their acts together before they destroy themselves through sin and degrading themselves and others.
 
It would also help to find some like-minded friends. That would make a world of a difference.

In some cases your friends’ conscience is being tweaked, since you are doing the mature thing and they are not.

.As far as the scandals in the Church, it is Jesus and the saints we need to look at (I’m sure you know that). Some people get upset and want the scandals to be fixed in a hurry. It doesn’t work that way.Also, the scandals do not eclipse the truth of what the Church teaches.

People who bring up the scandals frequently are not understanding that such problems happen across the board, not only in the Catholic Church.
 
These people that you call “friends” are anything BUT friends. They would best be discarded, as they are intent on dragging you down to their level.

Friends do not criticise a person for making a religious choice to better their life.

It may well be that you ARE “more boring” to them now, because you will not engage in the same pointless and sinful behaviors that they do. They see your example, and they simply can’t stand it that you are not rolling in evil as they are. So, they attempt to bring you back to their level.

Find friends with similar beliefs.

Treat those old “friends” (and I use that term VERY loosely) with dignity and respect. Do NOT condemn them, just continue to set an example for them. You just never know when your example of right living will have a major influence on someone.

The first Catholic Nun that taught me (in the 4th grade), thought that her first year of teaching was a total and complete disaster. I came into her class in mid year, as a Non-Catholic who had been taught that all Catholics were spawn of the Devil.

It was Sister’s example of living a Holy, Simple and Joy filled life that actually converted me. Not her “religious classes”, not the words she spoke, but the fact that someone that was so connected to religion could appear to be so happy. To me, all ministers, deacons, etc. were “sour pusses” who never had any fun, and didn’t want you to have any either.

I found Sister Renilda some 50 years later, and when I told her the influence she had on me, she cried. She had considered that first year of teaching to have been so bad, that she had begged to be allowed to do ANYTHING but teach.

You just never know when sticking to your guns will pay off. I hope you do find out before 50 years, but better much lateer than never.
 
Oh thank you so much for all of your (name removed by moderator)ut! 🙂 The first step I think I’m going to take is getting more involved in the Catholic group once I go back to school; unfortunately the church I attend doesn’t have a youth group of any kind. I guess that’s my biggest problem, not having surrounded myself with people who believe in God and have the faith. It’s been hard enough having a family that is only Catholic by name (for most of the summer I have gone to church alone as my family sleep sin or readies for football games). When I realize there’s no one here to share that with, I feel things like this affect me a lot more.

I will continue to pray for them, and since I’ve already tried to explain how much good being religious has done for me and how knowing Jesus is the best thing in my life right now to these “friends” then that’s all I can do. The advice I’ve given them is not what they want to hear, so I’ve done all I can.

If they hadn’t railed me for what I believed, I probably would still consider at least being acquaintances with them, but I’m tired of the abuse they’ve put me though. I’ve been mocked, called rude names, and they’ve tried to pressure me into doing things I don’t want to do. I guess it’s time to leave the old behind and go out and find the new.

Thank you so very much for listening and responding. It truly means a lot for me, and it is times like these that I thank God that places like this exist on the internet. God bless all of you, and God bless my lost “friends.”
 
I agree with the above posts that it would be best if you changed your circle of friends. What you are experiencing is very common. No convert/revert is spared some kind of rejection and ridicule. It’s the way the world works. Look for other practicing Catholics who can help you grow in faith. It is so important that we are surrounded by positive people because bad influence can creep up on you. It happened to me when I was at university and it took me a long time to see the truth about those friendships. So be careful and protect yourself. God bless.
 
There is a big change from HS viewpoints and starting to grow up in College. You are so Blessed to be on the Best Path: Of Christ. Your old friends are still kids, floundering around; You’ve become Mature, and they are jealous! You’ve got the Ideal attitude: Long Term: Lifetime. Pray for your old friends and family, maybe clue them sometimes on a great discovery, like a boyfriend who cares about Your Happiness, not his selfishness. They may attack you more, bexcause of their jealousy. Walk Tall, on the Straight Path: Only way to Happiness: For yourself, and Others. 👍:blessyou:
 
I understand how you feel. I’m 16 and returned to Catholicism almost one year ago and have discovered the many, many, many misconceptions and negative attitudes about the Church and her teachings.

One of the things I’ve discovered is that the way faithful Catholics think is different from the way morally relativistic people think. Before I reverted, I was for abortion, gay marriage, and contraception. It all made perfect sense to me that these things were not only just, but good and that anybody who disagreed with me must be crazy or stupid for not believing in them. When talking to your friends, keep this in mind.

I don’t know what you should do, but what I do is first, pick my battles and second, pray.

By pick my battles, I mean that I don’t always raise my voice when I see or hear something anti-Catholic. Doing so could just re-affirm the other persons’ idea that I’m “crazy” for not accepting abortion, gay marriage, contraception, believing in God, et cetera. Sometimes it’s best to remain silent. But when I’m in a situation when I can mount an effective argument and especially when someone directly asks me what I think, I don’t hold back. I know that the great two thousand year intellectual history of the Catholic faith, including such figures as Jesus himself, St. Paul, St. Irenaeus, St. Thomas Aquinas, Bl. John Henry Newman, St. Edith Stein, Dietrich von Hildebrand, Fulton J. Sheen, and now Blessed Pope John Paul II, are behind me. Despite what some modern critics say, Catholicism is not a manifestation of pre-scientific superstition. It is a very smart, intellectual religion.

Second, I pray. I offer up the Mass whenever I can for the reversion or conversion of those close to me. Sometimes prayer can do more than words and it really can work. St. Monica prayed for years that her son and husband would convert. In time, they both did and her son Augustine became one of the greatest Bishops and Doctors of the Church and a Saint in his own right.

Finally I would stay with them as friends if they’d have me. Maybe you could be a positive influence on them.

I guess I do have a little advise for you: try to teach them with both actions and words - but mostly actions - that Catholicism leads to temporal peace in this life. For me personally, Catholicism has been so liberating. I don’t have to be enslaved to the things of the flesh and constantly try to find satisfaction only in them. I don’t have to worry about what other people think or dress or act. I don’t have to pretend to be happy with hedonism. My grandmother said that even if someone is non-Catholic, the practices of Catholicism - like confessing sins for example - are good for one’s life on Earth (and obviously, good for the next life as well). It reminds me of an expression coined by St. Irenaeus: “the glory of God is a human being fully alive.” Try to show your friends the joy and peace that comes from God alone.

Good Luck! 👍
 
I’m not a fellow believer and I am not young so you may wish to ignore my view - but I think the problem here is largely to do with social media. Facebook etc is not a good place to express views on complex subjects like abortion. These Forums are example enough of the problems! I try to be a ‘constant friend’ as I heard it described once. My friends can do all sorts of things I dislike, but I work at staying their friend. Strength in your own self is needed to do this, but it is certainly possible. Retreating into a circle of like-minded people makes things easier, but not as interesting. Another thing I have learned in my too-long life is not to express views directly on people’s very personal stuff - like sex.
 
God Bless you, Pax Vobis and Jubilant! You’re on the Best path for Your lifetime happiness, and eternity. Each of you show great maturity. :blessyou:
 
Great advice has already been given: new circle of friends (don’t limit yourself to age though), stay in touch with them so that you can try to evangelize them. Message them personally if they fb something harsh. Hide or delete their post if you have to. But know that if in the effort to gain them for Jesus you lose a friend… God will still take care of them and you.

Ask God to help you know what and how to say things with prudence and kindness… But do say it! God bless you!
 
Keep up the good work is what you need to do. I espically loved your reply to your female friend about devoting her time to God. Pray and gently direct others to God, dont be pushy, but stand firm in the faith.

God Bless
 
Hi Jubilant, as I read each of your examples, I put myself in your place and each time I would have told your “friend” to grow up. You have out grown them and they do not understand why you don’t live as they do. It is time to keep being a light unto them, but it is also time to seek out some new friends who have also grown up so to speak.

1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.

1 Corinthians 14:20
Brothers, don’t be childish in your thinking, but be infants in evil and adult in your thinking.

Romans 13:12-13
Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

12 The night is nearly over, and the daylight is near, so let us discard the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk with decency, as in the daylight: not in carousing and drunkenness; not in sexual impurity and promiscuity; not in quarreling and jealousy.

Ephesians 5:6-14

6 Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things God’s wrath is coming on the disobedient. [a] 7 Therefore, do not become their partners. 8 For you were once darkness, but now [you are] light in the Lord. Walk as children of light — 9 for the fruit of the light ** [results] in all goodness, righteousness, and truth — 10 discerning what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead, expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what is done by them in secret. 13 Everything exposed by the light is made clear, 14 for what makes everything clear is light. Therefore it is said:
Get up, sleeper, and rise up from the dead,
and the Messiah will shine on you. [c]

1 Peter 4

1 Therefore, since Christ suffered [a] in the flesh, ** arm yourselves also with the same resolve [c] —because the One who suffered in the flesh [d] has finished with sin [e] — 2 in order to live the remaining time in the flesh, [f] no longer for human desires, [g] but for God’s will. 3 For there has already been enough time spent in doing the will of the pagans: [h] carrying on in unrestrained behavior, evil desires, drunkenness, orgies, carousing, and lawless idolatry. 4 In regard to this, they are surprised that you don’t plunge with them into the same flood * of dissipation—and they slander you.*** 5 They will give an account to the One who stands ready to judge the living and the dead.**
 
Jubilant said:
Well hello everyone! I am not in a good state at all right now, and I figured I could bring this to all of you to see if you can help me.

I am in sort of a crisis with my old “friends.” A bit of background: I am going to be a junior in college, and I used to be very close with them because I, ahem, would partake in activities that I now admonish. As well, in high school I was very much a doubting Catholic, but in college when I met my current boyfriend he led me back into the church and I am fully devoted to God.

But it doesn’t seem my friends think it’s a good thing. When I posted a status on Facebook on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade about remembering those who have been aborted, two of my friends said it was extremely offensive and hurtful of me to post it and that it didn’t matter that it was because of my faith in God that I didn’t believe in abortion. They went on to say that they felt like being more religious was making me “boring” and “not as fun as I was back in high school.”

More recently, I was speaking to a friend who had recently broken up with her boyfriend and was distressed because she “hadn’t had sex in over two months.” When I suggested that she should focus this time on God and finding someone who she could cultivate an actual loving relationship with someone that wasn’t based around sex, she flipped out on me, stating that “just because it works for you doesn’t mean it does for me; we’re different people. And besides, I don’t want God in my life right now because I don’t need Him.”

Finally, one of my friends posted a video on his wall that made fun of the sex abuse issues in the Catholic Church, I commented that I didn’t think it was very funny because it was very insensitive towards the victims (and extremely crude). Well, he and his friend told me that I wasn’t upset by the victims but because I was a Catholic and basically thought the abuse and the Vatican’s response was okay because I didn’t leave the church when it happened.

So I am distressed, fellow believers. These are some of the people I used to view as my closest friends, but now they can’t seem to accept my changing beliefs. I’ll admit, one of the reasons I have stayed connected with them was because I felt I might be able to help at least one of them to stop the “activities” that they still partake in and see how it’s destroying their lives. But now it feels hopeless as they continually admonish my beliefs but will not accept my beliefs even as an opinion (I have been told before that I am flat out “wrong” for believing some of the things I believe).

I have prayed so many times on this matter, but I am really in need of an opinion of what to do. Do I stay or do I go?

God bless you if you’ve read through all of my ramblings, =]. I appreciate anything or any advice you can give me.
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Don’t even waste time pushing God on anyone. If someone is upset by what you say, tell them they can go somewhere else and they don’t have to listen to you. The only way to stop them from participating in the activities they partake in is to avoid them whenever they have anything to do with them. If they ask you why you aren’t hanging out with them, be clear and say exactly why. Go find more friends.
 
joshrp said:
Don’t even waste time pushing God on anyone. If someone is upset by what you say, tell them they can go somewhere else and they don’t have to listen to you. The only way to stop them from participating in the activities they partake in is to avoid them whenever they have anything to do with them. If they ask you why you aren’t hanging out with them, be clear and say exactly why. Go find more friends.
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Itv is Always Bad, worst case to be Argumentaive or shunning people. Best to be nice wuith everyone, as we were taught as children.
 
Jubilant said:
Well hello everyone! I am not in a good state at all right now, and I figured I could bring this to all of you to see if you can help me.

I am in sort of a crisis with my old “friends.” A bit of background: I am going to be a junior in college, and I used to be very close with them because I, ahem, would partake in activities that I now admonish. As well, in high school I was very much a doubting Catholic, but in college when I met my current boyfriend he led me back into the church and I am fully devoted to God.

But it doesn’t seem my friends think it’s a good thing. When I posted a status on Facebook on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade about remembering those who have been aborted, two of my friends said it was extremely offensive and hurtful of me to post it and that it didn’t matter that it was because of my faith in God that I didn’t believe in abortion. They went on to say that they felt like being more religious was making me “boring” and “not as fun as I was back in high school.”
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WWJD:)

I suspect He would tell you to KNOW, live publically and share our Faith.

So many folks just are unwilling to listen for a GREAT many [poor] reasons.

IF your friend has a Christian background and is WILLING AND ABLE to actually listen and discuss the issues; then try. If they have chosen to “do there own thing” just PRAY ALOT for them that at some point they WILL be able to accept God’s geace and open up to the Singular truth.

Someting I like to point out [not that it works that well bevause people MUST be open to the truth [God’s territority:D], is to point out that "In the Entire Bible God [both Yahweh and Jesus] never even ONE TIME approved of more than One God, More than One set of Faith beliefs [which He taught] and ALWAYS only one Ark, Temple or Church’…

Jesus gave the “keys to heaven” to ONLY Peter and the CC … NO ONE else and the Catholic Faith is the ONLY GOD founded faith in the entire World!

God Bless,
Pat
 
It sounds like you’re on the right path! 🙂

Those don’t sound like the best of friends. Maybe you should just keep trying to help the one you mentioned.
 
“…men have shown they prefer darkness to the light because their deeds were evil. And indeed, everybody who does wrong hates the light and avoids it, for fear his actions should be exposed…” (Jn. 3;19-20)

Sounds as tho your bright light is shinning in their eyes.
 
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