It Comes To A Head On Wednesday

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lonegreywolf20

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Don’t know if any of you will remember, but I was served with child support modification papers back in July 2019. It has taken till now for a final hearing. It was supposed to be May, but Covid happened. Her lawyer asked that a motion for continuance be granted because anything other than an in-person hearing would prejudice my ex-wife. Wednesday’s hearing will be virtual anyway. I am still representing myself.

I just received her exhibits on Thursday and the lawyer is going to ask for me to pay $553 a month. That effectively leaves me with under $600 a month to live off of. It will increase her income to almost $1800 a month clear as she receives disability for her income. The lawyer has it in her bed that she’ll be able to have the kids removed from my insurance and that will free up income for me. She’s failing to understand that the plan through my employer remains the same premium whether there is one kid or twenty kids on the plan. It does not change when a child has been removed. That makes my income higher than what it truly is.

To give you an idea of what intake home per year, because of my insurance I grossed 23k last year, but only brought home a little over 16k net income. That was before my insurance went up back in December. So far this year, I have grossed $17,200 and only brought home a little under $8,000.

If she was to win, I would make less from that point forward per year than I have so far this year.

I just don’t know what to do. If the judge awards her what they are asking for, I cannot survive on that little per month. It almost makes me not want to work at all because all I am doing is working to pay my ex-wife money for child support. I won’t do that because all it will do is land me in jail and my driver’s license taken from me.

Everyone who is a friend of mine, co-worker, family or girlfriend’s family say that she won’t be able to get that much. The judge will see that makes me destitute and put her at much more advantaged. I just don’t know.

I am scared, very scared!
 
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I will pray for you this evening. I’m sorry that you are going through this.
 
I will pray for you tonight.

Would you be able to hire your own lawyer to petition for more custody in the near future, like 50/50 so you wouldn’t have to pay child support at all? Maybe this site could help connect you with your own representation for little or no fee. https://www.lawhelp.org
 
Thank you for your reply.

I have already tried the legal aid route. Was told that I gross too much per year to qualify. They wouldn’t help me.
 
Yes, he cannot pay for a lawyer because half his paycheck goes to insurance. So his income looks too high for legal aid (reduced cost or free lawyer) but since so much goes for insurance, he has very little discretionary income to pay a lawyer with.
 
I’m sorry and I will pray for you…

I know this is late to suggest this to you, but have you tried to contract an attorney directly and ask for help (not legal aid), but straight phoning a few and asking for help? Sometimes they will do this for free and write it off. Maybe if you know an attorney or someone at your parish is an attorney?

I know this sounds lame, but I know of a few that do this from time to time.
 
It’s not lame at all.

I have done that and no, they too wouldn’t help. All I got is “we would need $2500 up front. Don’t have that? I’m sorry cannot help you. Good luck!”

The thing I didn’t mention in the OP is her lawyer is asking me to pay her lawyer fees because my ex-wife has been deemed indigent.
 
In that case , I would really want to talk to an attorney. If you have never had legal counsel on this case, could you request a continuance to speak with an attorney and simply explain in your request that you are in over your head. (So to speak) ?

You can find one for an initial consult less than 2500.

$2500 was probably the fee to take the case and represent you … Which I understand is part of the dilemma.

I have seen some that will accept trade (in certain extenuating circumstances ) as in if someone does a/c hvac, plumbing, disposal or hauling off every now and then., this Is rare though… that’s all I can think of…

Praying for you.
 
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I am unable to obtain a lawyer. I simply do not have the money to pay one. I think the lowest cost one was $2000. I don’t bring home that much in a month. I know the consult would be free, but what does that gain me? They will not represent me for free.

I will have to do this on my own. I also do not have the time now. I work the next two days, from 4 am till 5 pm. I have no way to file anything and There has been one continuance already and this has been ongoing since July of 2019. The last thing I received was that there will not be any continuances at this point anyway.

I know you’re trying to help and I greatly appreciate it!
 
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It’s okay.

I guess the moral of the story is, really get to know who you’re marrying and don’t marry them unless your absolutely sure they aren’t greedy people who would use their own kids for financial gain at the other parent’s expense.

I should have listened to her family when they tried to warn me and my family who said not to marry her!

Good thing is I have a good one now. Her family has been emotionally supportive of me during this, my family loves her to death. She herself builds me up rather than tear me down.

Sorry, it’s 4:30, I am at work already in the ambulance and on the go. My mind is all over the place.
 
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I am not American, so I am not completely clear on the insurance side with work. Just wondering why you are paying so much in insurance. Can you not find a cheaper insurance company where the payments don’t take half of your pay? I come from a country with free access to healthcare, so I not totally sure how hiked these insurance premiums can be.

In my country we have legal advisors, they can give over the phone free legal advise. Normally they can give you advise over the phone. Explain that half of your money goes in insurance. That your bring home pay is only 8 grand. I don’t know what the average wage is in America but your take home pay is not a lot to live on. I did find a few websites in the US that may help you:

https://www.freelegalanswers.org/

https://www.legaladvice.com/


https://www.lawyers.com/ask-a-lawyer-question/

Best to take with you to court legal documentation of your take home pay - perhaps get this written by work. Your rent/mortgage and other out necessity outgoings. Include your current insurance policy and required payments.

I pray that the judge has his/her head on their shoulders and is realistic in reviewing your financial situation.

I hope you find something helpful. Pax Christi.
 
The judge had continued the hearing it to October so that there department of revenue can have a say if she is on food stamps.
 
Is this a good thing for your case or not?

Is the main problem here is that the disablity pension your wife received is not enough to cover her special needs?

I think I remember that she is remarried. And her new husband is unable to provide for her?

Of course, an ex husband should help financially his children and ex wife, but we can’t ask him to pay so much that it would let him indigent…

My opinion is that a disability should be covered by the society not by the family…

Is the attorney and the judge are unable to see the absurdity of this situation? Is there something that can do to explain, defend yourself?

I am sorry that you can’t find a lawyer, because it seems that you need one.

I am sorry that you face such an injust system.
 
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