It does not move me, my God, to love you

[Abba]

I translated this most beautiful prayer/poem for all of you. My spanish is just as bad as my english, but I tried.

This is a most beautiful prayer, anonymously written and it is believed to have been written by a Franciscan. It has been proposed to have been written by Saint John of the Cross, Saint Theresa of Avila, Father Panes (a Franciscan who belonged to the province of Valencia), etc… This prayer is considered one of the top 100 poems of the Spanish language because of it’s structure and melody which is most likely all lost in this translation but you will get the idea.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit:

NO ME MUEVE, MI DIOS, PARA QUERERTE

IT DOES NOT MOVE ME, MY GOD, TO LOVE YOU

No me mueve, mi Dios, para quererte
el cielo que me tienes prometido,
ni me mueve el infierno tan temido
para dejar por eso de ofenderte.

It does not move me, my God, to love you
the sky that you have promised me
nor does it move me the inferno so feared
to for that stop ofending you.

Tú me mueves, Señor, muéveme el verte
clavado en una cruz y escarnecido,
muéveme ver tu cuerpo tan herido,
muévenme tus afrentas y tu muerte.

You move me, Lord, you move be when I see you
nailed in a cross and mocked,
I am moved to see your body so wounded,
I am moved by the insults and your death

Muéveme, en fin, tu amor, y en tal manera,
que aunque no hubiera cielo, yo te amara,
y aunque no hubiera infierno, te temiera.

I am moved, at the end, by your love, and in such a way,
that even if there would be no heaven, I would love you,
and if there would be no hell, I would fear you.

No me tienes que dar porque te quiera,
pues aunque lo que espero no esperara,
lo mismo que te quiero te quisiera.

You do not have to give me to love you,
for even if what I await I would not await,
the same that I love you, I would love you.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[Stylites]

No me mueve, mi Dios, para quererte
el cielo que me tienes prometido,
ni me mueve el infierno tan temido
para dejar por eso de ofenderte.

It does not move me, my God, to love you
the sky that you have promised me
nor does it move me the inferno so feared
to for that stop ofending you.

Thanks! ‘Cielo’ can mean ‘sky,’ but also ‘heaven.’ ‘Infierno’ can mean ‘inferno,’ but also ‘hell.’

 

[Abba]

Thanks! ‘Cielo’ can mean ‘sky,’ but also ‘heaven.’ ‘Infierno’ can mean ‘inferno,’ but also ‘hell.’

Right. I was going to re-post it with a correction but, thought I give people time to read it. Notice that I used ‘heaven’ for ‘cielo’ and ‘hell’ for ‘infierno’ later on. I also thought to change so the words are translated the same way throughout.

Here it is:

NO ME MUEVE, MI DIOS, PARA QUERERTE

IT DOES NOT MOVE ME, MY GOD, TO LOVE YOU

No me mueve, mi Dios, para quererte
el cielo que me tienes prometido,
ni me mueve el infierno tan temido
para dejar por eso de ofenderte.

It does not move me, my God, to love you
the heaven that you have promised me
nor does it move me the hell so feared
to for that stop ofending you.

Tú me mueves, Señor, muéveme el verte
clavado en una cruz y escarnecido,
muéveme ver tu cuerpo tan herido,
muévenme tus afrentas y tu muerte.

You move me, Lord, you move be when I see you
nailed in a cross and mocked,
I am moved to see your body so wounded,
I am moved by the insults and your death

Muéveme, en fin, tu amor, y en tal manera,
que aunque no hubiera cielo, yo te amara,
y aunque no hubiera infierno, te temiera.

I am moved, at the end, by your love, and in such a way,
that even if there would be no heaven, I would love you,
and if there would be no hell, I would fear you.

No me tienes que dar porque te quiera,
pues aunque lo que espero no esperara,
lo mismo que te quiero te quisiera.

You do not have to give me to love you,
for even if what I await I would not await,
the same that I love you, I would love you.

I was thinking that in the first stanza (?) I could right ‘thee’ instead of ‘you’ so it would be more rhythmic. This was a translation after my morning prayer, I really did not use my brain. I am sure it can be improved and even translated still keeping true to the text in a more melodious and artistic way. But, as I said, this is at least for people to get the experience and know that it exists and it is true to the original text. As it is, I am not eloquent and the last thing I am is a poet.

 

[Abba]

Hello everyone reading this thread.

I actually googled the title as I translated it and a website comes up with a collection of translations of this same poem. I was surprised to note that my favorite translation is my own. This, because it is closer to the text than all the other ones. The others add imagery that are not on the original or add descriptions or comparisons or make connections that the original author did not allude to nor made. I like mine. It’s nice to see, however, that others have tried to make it available to the English speaking world. Here is the link to a collection of translations by different authors through time. users.ipfw.edu/jehle/poesia/ACRISTEN.HTM

(Abba’s translation):

IT DOES NOT MOVE ME, MY GOD, TO LOVE YOU

It does not move me, my God, to love you
the heaven that you have promised me
nor does it move me the hell so feared
to for that stop ofending you.

You move me, Lord, you move be when I see you
nailed in a cross and mocked,
I am moved to see your body so wounded,
I am moved by the insults and your death.

I am moved, at the end, by your love, and in such a way,
that even if there would be no heaven, I would love you,
and if there would be no hell, I would fear you.

You do not have to give me to love you,
for even if what I await I would not await,
the same that I love you, I would love you.

The only thing that I would change, but, I am not because as it is it is truer to the original as it is, is in the last stanza; ‘await’ for ‘hope’. In Spanish, the author uses ‘espero’ which could be translated with ‘hope’ or ‘await’ and I; sticking to the content, the spirit and the text (without thinking) translated as ‘await’ and this is much better. Since, the author is exactly saying although not explicit, but that is what the whole poem expresses; that he loves God not for heaven nor hell but, because of His love for us and the great sacrifice He made for our salvation. So, the author is not expressing hope for heaven but, instead, heaven is something he awaits. Although ‘hope’ may be more poetical, I prefer ‘await’.

Peace,

Abba

 

[Rejoice_Always]

Great stuff! Thanks for posting!

I liked how the first two translators kept the original’s sonnet form (Italian sonnet) when translating, but using a free verse approach can be interesting as well and open up possibilities.

Often a word-for-word translation can give you the denotative meaning(s), but it can miss the more subtle contextual connotative ones. And, as you know, words can change meanings over time – and then there are considerations of how a poet will use certain words (and translators will often spend time working through many poems to get the right feel), which can completely demolish the dictionary approach.

Still, very nice work. I’ve enjoyed reading your approach!

 

[Abba]

Great stuff! Thanks for posting!

I liked how the first two translators kept the original’s sonnet form (Italian sonnet) when translating, but using a free verse approach can be interesting as well and open up possibilities.

Often a word-for-word translation can give you the denotative meaning(s), but it can miss the more subtle contextual connotative ones. And, as you know, words can change meanings over time – and then there are considerations of how a poet will use certain words (and translators will often spend time working through many poems to get the right feel), which can completely demolish the dictionary approach.

Still, very nice work. I’ve enjoyed reading your approach!

Thank you for your kindness.

Actually, I did not use a dictionary. I am multi-cutural and quinti-lingual but, I do not command any of the languages (je me débrouille). I really just get by in all of them.

I am beginning to wonder if anyone out there appreciates my appreciation for a translation that is true to the original. When I read a translation of a work from a language specially one that I can not even decipher, e.g. Chinese, Japanese, Russian etc… I want to read what the author wrote.

If for some reason, we were missing for centuries the section of the book of Mathew and Luke with the Our Father and it was finally found; I do not want to read the type of translations provided in the link above. I want to know what Jesus actually said and what he alluded to if anything and the imagery He used etc… not the translator. I don’t know if this type of translation has a name, but it’s the one I like.

Now, given this type of translation, then someone can write a poem based or inspired on the original. That is, try to write an equivalent poem based on the same theme, but, that’s not really a translation. I am not saying that my translation is great but it is faithful to the original. Mind you, I did it in the post screen in two minutes - the color of the shirt is different but it fits the same person with no added embroidery etc…

Better get back to work. Thanks for reading.

Peace,

Abba

P.s.
Are you B from G who hopes: I hope that some day when I enter His presence He will laugh and hug me tight. ?

 

[nordicjohannes]

I translated this most beautiful prayer/poem for all of you. My spanish is just as bad as my english, but I tried.

This is a most beautiful prayer, anonymously written and it is believed to have been written by a Franciscan. It has been proposed to have been written by Saint John of the Cross, Saint Theresa of Avila, Father Panes (a Franciscan who belonged to the province of Valencia), etc… This prayer is considered one of the top 100 poems of the Spanish language because of it’s structure and melody which is most likely all lost in this translation but you will get the idea.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit:

NO ME MUEVE, MI DIOS, PARA QUERERTE

IT DOES NOT MOVE ME, MY GOD, TO LOVE YOU

No me mueve, mi Dios, para quererte
el cielo que me tienes prometido,
ni me mueve el infierno tan temido
para dejar por eso de ofenderte.

It does not move me, my God, to love you
the sky that you have promised me
nor does it move me the inferno so feared
to for that stop ofending you.

Tú me mueves, Señor, muéveme el verte
clavado en una cruz y escarnecido,
muéveme ver tu cuerpo tan herido,
muévenme tus afrentas y tu muerte.

You move me, Lord, you move be when I see you
nailed in a cross and mocked,
I am moved to see your body so wounded,
I am moved by the insults and your death

Muéveme, en fin, tu amor, y en tal manera,
que aunque no hubiera cielo, yo te amara,
y aunque no hubiera infierno, te temiera.

I am moved, at the end, by your love, and in such a way,
that even if there would be no heaven, I would love you,
and if there would be no hell, I would fear you.

No me tienes que dar porque te quiera,
pues aunque lo que espero no esperara,
lo mismo que te quiero te quisiera.

You do not have to give me to love you,
for even if what I await I would not await,
the same that I love you, I would love you.

http://www.franciscanos.org/oracion/rubens245.jpg

 

[nordicjohannes]

I want to thank ABBA for his/her translation, but with all respect for it, I have not found äny better translation into English than the one by Art Eschenlauer, Easter 1996, which I copy here för the joy and pleasure of all readers:

To Christ Crucified

My God, it does not move me to befriend Thee
that Thou hast promised heavenly salvation,
and terror of eternal condemnation
is not what moves my ceasing to offend Thee.

To see Thee moves me, Lord, as nails suspend Thee
upon the Cross, in great humiliation;
Thy wounded body shows Thy tribulation
as we to cruel disgrace and death do send Thee!

Thy love so moves me naught to prize above Thee
that were there not a Hell I yet would fear Thee
and were there not a Heaven I would love Thee.

Thou needst not give me more to have me love Thee,
for, had I not such hope of being near Thee,
I yet would love Thee just as now I love Thee.

            —Translation by Art Eschenlauer, Easter 1996
           (reproduced here with permission)