It was a good day

[prodigalson12]

I’ve been extremely frustrated with the church lately, it always seemed like I never get noticed by anybody there. I go to mass, early for prayer, then leave, again, after lengthy prayer, showing real reverence, yet it’s been very difficult, since everybody is chatting away, before and after. I have attempted to join in with some of them, only to be rejected every single time, even during the sign of peace, I’m treated like an outsider, people reluctant to even shake my hand.

I’ve felt like a complete outsider, so much so, that I’ve started to not even bother with my appearance there, I go in what ever t shirt I have, and shaving is optional, for there is absolutely no reason anymore to try to be presentable for the others, and this element is not going to change.

Today, after attending mass, after praying after it, I got up and noticed people actually kneeling and praying, I noticed the normal volume of chatter greatly diminished, and even people lighting candles at Mary’s and our Lords statues as well. This made me very happy, and for the first time in a long time, instead of leaving mass, rather p–ed off about being dealt with so coldly and by people that show zero reverence, I was delighted instead, even though nobody gave me the time of day, outside of the usher looking at me, when I explained to him that I was happy others were sticking around to pray.

It gets better, at the end of confirmation class, I asked the instructor if I can get confirmed without a sponsor, that out of all three parishes, nobody ever gives me the time of day, much less me being able to have one as my sponsor. He told me it’s against cannon law, so I drafted him for the job on the spot. He reluctantly told me that it’s ok, but I could tell he wasn’t happy with it. Well, afterwards, we chatted for a while, he realized how much zeal I have for the church and all it teaches and stands for, and how I really do know what he means and is talking about. Guys, this class is way below my level of understanding, so instead of learning, outside of a few tidbits, it’s going to be a test of my patience to attend. At the end of our conversation, he tells me that he will be honored to be my sponsor. So, elated, that I have one person in the church I can connect with, upon leaving, I ended up bumping into the usher, and we ended up having a very lengthy conversation as well, I now have two friends there.

I decided to register through that parish for confirmation, I’m also going to be placing involvement there on every level, church wise, the first and top priority, and stop trying to get involved with the local one, for the local one, they just don’t have what it takes, or should I say, I have not luke warmed myself down enough to their level to relate with, that and I don’t portray an exterior of affluence, nor do I have family of any kind with me there. So, instead of this sick feeling I get after mass, after being rejected by the members there, I finally have a church that at least, there are two people that know me and like me. It may not sound like a lot, but in my book, it’s huge.

I know, people are going to say, just go there for our Lord, but when you do so and face rejection so many times, it does get to you. We need people to acknowledge us, this is an important part of community, without it, you are utterly alone.

I decided to patronize another local church afterwards "I did two masses this weekend, and wasn’t about to go the that local parish, for I wanted the day to continue forward in a positive way. This local one, even though they know me, I could clearly tell, they absolutely do not want me around, it’s my faith as a Catholic they consider a threat, even though I’m not overbearing with it, I don’t keep quiet about the fact that I am Catholic when we are meeting new people, and are told to mingle. I mainly went to that church to be entertained, not consider it worship of any kind “just like most protestant churches I visit”, but in the end, I was made to feel like an outcast. I have decided to let that one go, I could do a great deal better job of pastoring that place, for my knowledge base is superior to theirs “thanks to the Catholic church of course”, and I think they are concerned, for they do have to take into account, if they say or teach something anti catholic of any way, while I’m there, they know I will speak up. It was kind of sad as well, for we had a study on the Lords prayer, and I could have contributed more, but could not because I was not the one holding the mic…

So, I guess, that’s going to likely be the last protestant church I visit, it was a good day when it comes down to it, and I feel I’ve greatly felt Gods grace, he is so good.

 

[Chris1112]

Hi, I’m currently learning about Catholicism with hopes to convert and I find your post kind of confusing. I wouldn’t judge Catholicism by a single member’s views/actions and I certainly have no place to judge anyone off a single post… so I hope I won’t be misinterpreted in asking a honest question, okay? (I’m not a regular forum poster and don’t want to offend in any way.)

I guess what I was wondering from your post is about your knowledge of the Catholic faith but not being confirmed yet. I’m also not confirmed and you talk about the classes you are in being below your level so I’m guessing those may be the RCIA courses. I think, based on recent readings, that confirmation is a sacrament that grants a special strength of the Holy Spirit. So, would it be logical that without that sacrament your knowledge base might be vast but not complete? Just based off what I’m learning now (and its very limited, so be patient if I misunderstand) I was wondering if that might be relevant to your current frustrations? It sounds like the social aspect bothers you greatly, but do you predict that receiving the sacrament of confirmation will strengthen you?

I hope this questioning doesn’t add to your frustrations though, I’m just trying to learn and you sound like you are in the midst of a process that I hope to be at one day.

 

[Gertabelle]

I’ve been extremely frustrated with the church lately, it always seemed like I never get noticed by anybody there. I go to mass, early for prayer, then leave, again, after lengthy prayer, showing real reverence, yet it’s been very difficult, since everybody is chatting away, before and after. I have attempted to join in with some of them, only to be rejected every single time, even during the sign of peace, I’m treated like an outsider, people reluctant to even shake my hand.

Today, after attending mass, after praying after it, I got up and noticed people actually kneeling and praying, I noticed the normal volume of chatter greatly diminished, and even people lighting candles at Mary’s and our Lords statues as well. This made me very happy, and for the first time in a long time, instead of leaving mass, rather p–ed off about being dealt with so coldly and by people that show zero reverence, I was delighted instead, even though nobody gave me the time of day, outside of the usher looking at me, when I explained to him that I was happy others were sticking around to pray.

It gets better… I now have two friends there.

I decided to register through that parish for confirmation, I’m also going to be placing involvement there on every level, church wise, the first and top priority… So, instead of this sick feeling I get after mass, after being rejected by the members there, I finally have a church that at least, there are two people that know me and like me. It may not sound like a lot, but in my book, it’s huge.

…it was a good day when it comes down to it, and I feel I’ve greatly felt Gods grace, he is so good.

Thanks be to God for the graces He is affording you, particularly being able to recognize and use the gifts He is giving you May the commitments you are making – to being confirmed, to participating in a particular parish – continue to be a blessing in your life.

I have had similar experiences to yours, I mean, regarding feeling like an outcast in a particular parish. Like you, I tried different parishes as well. Eventually I found two wonderful parish homes – one where I play the piano, and the other where my son goes to school. It was well worth the effort to find the right “fit” in my parishes.

God bless you, dear one, and I will keep you in my prayers as you prepare for the sacrament of Confirmation.

Gertie

 

[prodigalson12]

Hi, I’m currently learning about Catholicism with hopes to convert and I find your post kind of confusing. I wouldn’t judge Catholicism by a single member’s views/actions and I certainly have no place to judge anyone off a single post… so I hope I won’t be misinterpreted in asking a honest question, okay? (I’m not a regular forum poster and don’t want to offend in any way.)

I guess what I was wondering from your post is about your knowledge of the Catholic faith but not being confirmed yet. I’m also not confirmed and you talk about the classes you are in being below your level so I’m guessing those may be the RCIA courses. I think, based on recent readings, that confirmation is a sacrament that grants a special strength of the Holy Spirit. So, would it be logical that without that sacrament your knowledge base might be vast but not complete? Just based off what I’m learning now (and its very limited, so be patient if I misunderstand) I was wondering if that might be relevant to your current frustrations? It sounds like the social aspect bothers you greatly, but do you predict that receiving the sacrament of confirmation will strengthen you?

I hope this questioning doesn’t add to your frustrations though, I’m just trying to learn and you sound like you are in the midst of a process that I hope to be at one day.

The questioning does not at all add to the frustration, and I understand what you are saying. I have put in a ton of time studying the faith far in excess of what was offered to me at any of the parishes, but there is something far more to it, just in my case then this, so my perspective and understanding is just not typical what so ever. To go into it in full detail, I’d have to literally write a thick book, and some day I very much will and it’s going to inspire many other people to delve more into our faith.

When the class “graduates”, they are in the very, very beginning stages of grace, it’s obvious due to their reactions and lack of involvement, to them, this is all new information being presented, to me, the instructor is preaching to the choir, and my direction and focus is more along helping him and the rest of the class, not just myself, for I’ve already studied what he’s teaching at great length.

This is not to say it’s all going to be completely stuff I have super analyzed, there are some tidbits I’m picking up along the way, there also very likely are going to be some tidbits he’ll learn from me along the way, but elements such as the gifts of the Holy Spirit, God has already been very generous to me with, even though it’s something taught to be bestowed afterwards, at least from what he’s telling me, and that is due to God’s generosity to me as an individual. He did for me because he knew I really needed them now, rather then later, is all I can think of, not because I deserved them or that I’m special or something.

I’m not judging by a single persons actions, nor a single churches actions, and to take it further, not by even religious affiliations, for I’ve frequented many, many different churches, and this is a problem with most of them. I can choose to sit and complain, I can choose to just accept it for what it is, or I can decide to take action, and since the running theme always is to get involved with a group already formed, I’ve decided to form my own to aid in this area for the church. I only need to lead through example on this one, with this one place, I shouldn’t have to single handedly do it for every one, but it may require more then one for this to affect change along a broader scope. It’s not judgment when it comes down to it, it’s fixing something that is broken, that’s all.

 

[prodigalson12]

Thanks be to God for the graces He is affording you, particularly being able to recognize and use the gifts He is giving you May the commitments you are making – to being confirmed, to participating in a particular parish – continue to be a blessing in your life.

I have had similar experiences to yours, I mean, regarding feeling like an outcast in a particular parish. Like you, I tried different parishes as well. Eventually I found two wonderful parish homes – one where I play the piano, and the other where my son goes to school. It was well worth the effort to find the right “fit” in my parishes.

God bless you, dear one, and I will keep you in my prayers as you prepare for the sacrament of Confirmation.

Gertie

Thanks Gertie. It is amazing how many graces we all receive daily, they are hard to recognize sometimes, and even things that seem bad, are in fact, good when it comes down to it, it’s all about perspective and the likely results that ensure afterwards.

Something came to mind with me along this particular church, it’s located in Vancouver, yet right next to Portland, which means there are people from Portland in the mix on it which adds to the variety of members there, and that’s a good thing when it comes down to it. It made me feel good doing what I could at the other place, I enjoyed those few moments, so I very much look forward to what’s in store with this one.

 

[Chris1112]

Thank you for your kind reply; its a lot for me to think on. If you go through confirmation and something does change (ie. a greater blessing of the Holy Ghost), please let me know if you feel comfortable doing so. No pressure – faith can be a very private experience and I wouldn’t want to take away from that by asking such questions. You’ve been generous so far in your openness and I am grateful for firsthand explanations about how this process of RCIA affects different people.

Best wishes, I hope in the future your good days will be so common that you’ll only be posting about the very rare bad days.

 

[prodigalson12]

Thanks for your politeness and response. It’s a journey, with no real end to it, and we are all on it, in different levels, more like layers are unfolded similar to an onion skin. The volume of gifts I’ve received are overwhelming, so much so, I often think of life itself, as being a character in a play and I’m simply observing it from the outside, this is how much God is working in my life, and I feel, all of our lives, we just aren’t aware of it much of the time. The one element that I can think of is Mary, for she gets downplayed too often. I think part of this is due to the stigma we face from protestants for venerating her. Yet, she really can have a tremendous role in your life if you decide to let her in, she does so I feel for all of us as well, but it seems to me, that things started accellorating forward much faster since I’ve placed prayer and thought with her.

Perhaps, you might want to do the same. Look up the Miraculous Medal and Lady of Guadalupe and Lady of Fatima if you want the main three aparitions of her that I’m more fluent with, just for starts.

Today, again, great, and I like where you mention having more of them. During Adoration at the other church, I was approached by one of the churches Charismatic group members/leaders, and he handed me a rosary, mentioned to me how he liked the fact I was there, showing clear reverence and was in deep prayer and meditation. When I’m there for that, it has been of tremendous impact along the quality of the latter. We chatted for a little bit, it was just the two of us at the moment for the rest that were there left a few minutes ago. We ended up chatting in the hallway afterwards for some time, and now, looks like I made a new friend with this other church as well. Amazing here to me, God does work miracles, even if this seems small, it’s not for me at all.

 

[Mike_Dye]

I’ve been extremely frustrated with the church lately, it always seemed like I never get noticed by anybody there. I go to mass, early for prayer, then leave, again, after lengthy prayer, showing real reverence, yet it’s been very difficult, since everybody is chatting away, before and after. I have attempted to join in with some of them, only to be rejected every single time, even during the sign of peace, I’m treated like an outsider, people reluctant to even shake my hand.

I’ve felt like a complete outsider, so much so, that I’ve started to not even bother with my appearance there, I go in what ever t shirt I have, and shaving is optional, for there is absolutely no reason anymore to try to be presentable for the others, and this element is not going to change.

Today, after attending mass, after praying after it, I got up and noticed people actually kneeling and praying, I noticed the normal volume of chatter greatly diminished, and even people lighting candles at Mary’s and our Lords statues as well. This made me very happy, and for the first time in a long time, instead of leaving mass, rather p–ed off about being dealt with so coldly and by people that show zero reverence, I was delighted instead, even though nobody gave me the time of day, outside of the usher looking at me, when I explained to him that I was happy others were sticking around to pray.

It gets better, at the end of confirmation class, I asked the instructor if I can get confirmed without a sponsor, that out of all three parishes, nobody ever gives me the time of day, much less me being able to have one as my sponsor. He told me it’s against cannon law, so I drafted him for the job on the spot. He reluctantly told me that it’s ok, but I could tell he wasn’t happy with it. Well, afterwards, we chatted for a while, he realized how much zeal I have for the church and all it teaches and stands for, and how I really do know what he means and is talking about. Guys, this class is way below my level of understanding, so instead of learning, outside of a few tidbits, it’s going to be a test of my patience to attend. At the end of our conversation, he tells me that he will be honored to be my sponsor. So, elated, that I have one person in the church I can connect with, upon leaving, I ended up bumping into the usher, and we ended up having a very lengthy conversation as well, I now have two friends there.

I decided to register through that parish for confirmation, I’m also going to be placing involvement there on every level, church wise, the first and top priority, and stop trying to get involved with the local one, for the local one, they just don’t have what it takes, or should I say, I have not luke warmed myself down enough to their level to relate with, that and I don’t portray an exterior of affluence, nor do I have family of any kind with me there. So, instead of this sick feeling I get after mass, after being rejected by the members there, I finally have a church that at least, there are two people that know me and like me. It may not sound like a lot, but in my book, it’s huge.

I know, people are going to say, just go there for our Lord, but when you do so and face rejection so many times, it does get to you. We need people to acknowledge us, this is an important part of community, without it, you are utterly alone.

I decided to patronize another local church afterwards "I did two masses this weekend, and wasn’t about to go the that local parish, for I wanted the day to continue forward in a positive way. This local one, even though they know me, I could clearly tell, they absolutely do not want me around, it’s my faith as a Catholic they consider a threat, even though I’m not overbearing with it, I don’t keep quiet about the fact that I am Catholic when we are meeting new people, and are told to mingle. I mainly went to that church to be entertained, not consider it worship of any kind “just like most protestant churches I visit”, but in the end, I was made to feel like an outcast. I have decided to let that one go, I could do a great deal better job of pastoring that place, for my knowledge base is superior to theirs “thanks to the Catholic church of course”, and I think they are concerned, for they do have to take into account, if they say or teach something anti catholic of any way, while I’m there, they know I will speak up. It was kind of sad as well, for we had a study on the Lords prayer, and I could have contributed more, but could not because I was not the one holding the mic…

So, I guess, that’s going to likely be the last protestant church I visit, it was a good day when it comes down to it, and I feel I’ve greatly felt Gods grace, he is so good.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!
I am a parish leader and very involved in many aspects of our parish life and you have just reminded me of something that I have just let fall by the wayside. We need to be welcoming at all times to all that are seeking our risen Lord. I THANK YOU. There is one person I need to approach this weekend and I will thanks to your inspiration.