It's been almost 10 years since I was cyber-bullied & over four years since the bully died

  • Thread starter Thread starter Godforever87
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

Godforever87

Guest
Ten years ago, I became friends with someone on Myspace and I once tried to offer him some good advice on how constructive criticism can help you in a lot of ways. He replied back in the MEANEST way imaginable. I never bothered him again, but I had to spend years in psychiatric therapy to recover from what he said to me. I know that I probably shouldn’t use an example from media like fictional movies to compare my real-life siutation. However, as someone with high-functioning Autism, who grew up Catholic but also loved fairy tales and fantasy, this was the first thing that came to my mind. The more I thought about the guy’s personality he really came across as arrogant, shallow and superficial just like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast . Like Belle, I was the only person to see him for who he truly was while so many others thought he was the greatest guy in the entire world. That made me love the character of Belle and the film Beauty and the Beast even more than I did before. I shared my story to Paige O’Hara, Belle’s voice actress, and she was so touched by it. Four years ago, I found out that the cyber-bully died. I obviously didn’t rejoice or anything like that, but I still had mixed feelings about it all. The man affected my life in a very bad way, but he obviously didn’t deserve to die. I have mostly moved on, but with the 10 year anniversary of me being cyber-bullied coming up, this obviously came to my mind again. I still think I should pray for the man, but if my old resentful feelings against him return, then what should I do next?
 
Blessings
Life gives us episodes to learn about God and our relationship w him. We touch other ppl on this journey.
To clarify, you are a high level autistic girl. You made friends w a boy in the Internet.Were you at the time wanting more than a friendship w him.???
You gave him constructive criticism or told him that constructive criticism exists???
Something you said, upset him. He replied w words of rejection to you?? I’m sorry, ppl can be cruel. It can get better as we get older.
It’s good you prayed for him & forgave him. Being different makes some ppl uncomfortable. What they don’t understand, they push away.
God gave me the capacity to love others w their imperfections. That’s why I’m still married after 51 yrs! Chuckle…
Give ppl permission to not understand you at first. Then, make them feel comfortable w your smile. Explain your differences to those who ask. BE COMFORTABLE IN WHOM YOU ARE!
If you had a crooked nose & ppl look at you funny, say,”HI! I know, my nose is funny.” Chuckle. Humor is a great defense mechanism. Shakespeare said, “We are all fools on the stage of life.” I think…
Recall what he said to you! Take each word and write it on a small piece of paper. 10 names=10 papers. Pray healing over them and forgiveness for him. Ask your Mom if you can burn them. If not burned, tear them up and let them blow away on a good wind.
Have your Mom aware of this so she can help you.
Then, say,”I realease these hurtful words to You, God”
Now, replace w good positive words. Write them in your journal. Reread them each day. When you say morning prayers.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” ~ **[John 14:27]
6. Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – [Matthew 11:28-29]

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
So, remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. How could there be anything ugly about you? You are a Kings Kid. A beautiful creation.
Let her Spirit be free, Jesus, unencombered by unhappiness of the past. Each new day is a new experience w You, God. Help her walk w You.
In Jesus name
Amen
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
Id say a simple prayer for him, God will know your feelings about this. If you find anger arising during prayer I’d ask for forgiveness. Then move on. He will have had to account for his behaviour to The Almighty already.
It sounds as though this person has caused you far too much trouble, why let it continue to spoil your peace.

God bless.
 
Last edited:
I think you definitely should pray for him. I was taught recently in a homily that if someone acts really annoying to you, that is God’s way of letting you know that the person needs your prayers.

Also, while I understand the feeling of “I was the only person to see him for who he truly was while so many others thought he was the greatest guy in the whole world”, the reality is that for many of these situations, there is no “good guy” and no “bad guy”, there are just two people who are really not on the same page. The person may not have understood the effect his words would have on you; most people don’t have to spend years in therapy and have their whole lives affected because someone gave them a “mean” reply on social media, most people would not consider one mean response to be “cyber-bullying”, and many people do not understand the special issues faced by a person who is autistic or even someone who isn’t autistic but may have social anxieties. This person may get along just fine with others who are more on his wavelength, and to them he really may be a good person. I have had a similar past experience with someone who is generally considered to be a super nice guy by most of the people he meets, but with me he just happened to be a complete jerk due to a situation we were both involved in and me getting to see a little different side of the man that he does not go around showing to the world at large.

Keep in mind that God knows this person very intimately and that He loves this person that you think is a bully, just as much as God loves you. Ask God to help you forgive and love your “enemy” just as Jesus forgave all his enemies from the cross. This should be made easier by the fact that the person is no longer on this earth so you are not going to have to be dealing with seeing them around online or in person.
 
To clarify, you are a high level autistic girl. You made friends w a boy in the Internet.Were you at the time wanting more than a friendship w him.???
Click to expand...
I am actually a guy. I admired the man who cyber-bullied me and I was hoping we could be friends.
 
Perhaps you should continue to seek professional council. Your comparison to Belle gives you a bit of a martyr complex and that is very concerning.
 
OK! Thanks for providing that info. The suggestions still stand and the scripture verses. It’s hard to prepare kids for life. Even adults get hurt. We just have to forgive and move on. Each new person, we wish to befriend, is a risk of getting hurt. Just reevaluate, & change approach as you grow in social skills.
Go w God…
 
If it was ten years ago and it is still affecting you the way you say it is, I think you need professional help to move on past this.
 
Godforever87 said:
I obviously didn’t rejoice or anything like that, but I still had mixed feelings about it all.
Click to expand...
“I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” -Mark Twain (attributed)
 
Irishmom2 said:
If it was ten years ago and it is still affecting you the way you say it is, I think you need professional help to move on past this.
Click to expand...
When I started working at a job full-time I did move-on. However, one of the challenges of high-functioning Autism is that when something bothers you, it’s hard to let go of it. When I decided to stop comparing the man to Gaston, especially after he had died, I had a dream that bothered me. The dream would often come up whenever I tried to watch Beauty and the Beast or listen to the soundtrack. To quote Stan and Jan Berenstain, whose Bernstain Bears books occasionally had themes of religion, I was letting my imagination take control of me. The only way I thought to take control of it was to once again pretend that the now deceased bully was Gaston. So far, it has worked. Meeting Paige O’Hara this year and the upcoming 10th anniversary of the event of where I was bullied is also happening around a time where Paige O’Hara is reprising her role as Belle for a certain project at Disney. When I met O’Hara, she was very kind and understanding of how this situation was so similar to her character’s. I didn’t think telling her that the bully died prematurely like Gaston was a good idea, so I wisely left that part out.
 
Last edited:
Tonight I said a prayer for the man who cyber-bullied me. I truly hope he is at peace wherever he was because I remembered reading that the last few days of his life here on Earth were very troubling. He and his wife had separated and the only comfort he found was alcohol, which was one of the contributors to his death.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top