It's Friday night and

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BioCatholic

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i worked about 8hrs in the morning shift, went to see Doom with “the rock”, and am now at station 15 covering until 5am, on the wireless modem just browsing here. its kind of slow, as the bars havent let out yet.

it’s friday night and invariably someone (a patient) on my shift is going to die. probably a car wreck on drunk driver, a shooting possibly too. any way you look at it and i am going to have to try to put someone back together, and miserably fail.

when i talk to a priest about it, they just kind of give me a blank look. they seem to have no idea what i am talking about. the most qualified people to help with CISD or job stress arent usually, if at all Catholic. and if i did find one itd probably be in montanna or somewhere far away.

-im tired of having to rescue people hurt or killed by drunk drivers. -im tired of having to treat abused women, men and children.
-ive had 3 gunshot wounds to the head in 5 weeks, and im sick of looking at brain matter
-federal money that was supposed to pay for new types of knifeproof AND better bulletproof vests rolled-in-one got cut.
-intelligence given to us suggests that armor piercing rounds are circulating higher than ever before. (see above concern)
-the regimen of antiboitics of Cipro, tetracycline, and vaccines i had to get after goint to/getting back from Katrina had to come out of MY pocket until the Feds decide to reimburse me.
-guess who’s on the DMAT list first and foremost to go to Wilma?

im thinking of moving to barbados and just becoming a lifeguard at a sunny, quiet beach resort. i think i need some encouragement as to why i should stay doing what i am doing. i know we are called to “take up our cross”, but sheesh, does than include armor piercing rounds?
 
I think it may be time for you to look for a new career.

PF
 
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BioCatholic:
i worked about 8hrs in the morning shift, went to see Doom with “the rock”, and am now at station 15 covering until 5am, on the wireless modem just browsing here. its kind of slow, as the bars havent let out yet.

it’s friday night and invariably someone (a patient) on my shift is going to die. probably a car wreck on drunk driver, a shooting possibly too. any way you look at it and i am going to have to try to put someone back together, and miserably fail.

when i talk to a priest about it, they just kind of give me a blank look. they seem to have no idea what i am talking about. the most qualified people to help with CISD or job stress arent usually, if at all Catholic. and if i did find one itd probably be in montanna or somewhere far away.

-im tired of having to rescue people hurt or killed by drunk drivers. -im tired of having to treat abused women, men and children.
-ive had 3 gunshot wounds to the head in 5 weeks, and im sick of looking at brain matter
-federal money that was supposed to pay for new types of knifeproof AND better bulletproof vests rolled-in-one got cut.
-intelligence given to us suggests that armor piercing rounds are circulating higher than ever before. (see above concern)
-the regimen of antiboitics of Cipro, tetracycline, and vaccines i had to get after goint to/getting back from Katrina had to come out of MY pocket until the Feds decide to reimburse me.
-guess who’s on the DMAT list first and foremost to go to Wilma?

im thinking of moving to barbados and just becoming a lifeguard at a sunny, quiet beach resort. i think i need some encouragement as to why i should stay doing what i am doing. i know we are called to “take up our cross”, but sheesh, does than include armor piercing rounds?
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I have to thank you for this post.

I never really thought of this.

I have worked as a paramedic and as a volunteer firefighter.

You have given me much to think about.

Maybe this is one of the paths my vocation should follow.

Maybe I should look into this sort of counseling while I am finishing my bachelors degree and then after I finish the seminary (God willing).

Again, I thank you for this post.
 
**Because if everybody who does what you do gave up, then we’d all be a mess! 🙂 You’re truly a life-saver, but of course even that title has its drawbacks (stress). Anybody who does your kind of work has my respect. Have you always felt this way from the begining of this career? If so, then maybe it wasn’t the right career to go with. If you didn’t always feel this way about it, maybe you’re just going through a more stressful time.
God bless you for the work you do!

~You are in my prayers~ **
👋
 
Thank You for your service you are truly answering God’s call to tend his sheep.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Remember what faith is, I have nowhere near your stress level but what I depend upon is trying to do God’s will in faith and he gives me the strength to move on.

God Bless
 
You are doing some tremendous work and truly serving Christ in what you do. It sounds like you’re experiencing compassion fatigue quite heavily, and likely some secondary trauma given the work you do. Does your department have any counselors or social workers set up to debrief you and your colleagues? That’s so important to your well-being, and critical for you to continue the work you do. Just last week the staff at my agency had a training to do certify us to do debriefings with people experiencing crises as well as the providers who are first responding to the crisis (ie, police, red cross, etc. etc.) Is there anyway to advocate for that assistance if your department doesn’t have it?

Here’s a “self-test” to determine more if this is what you’re experiencing: ace-network.com/cftest.htm The website also has a lot of info on compassion fatigue. It’s really important, especially in your line of work, to have a way to process and feel supported in what you’re doing. If your department doesn’t offer counseling, find some in private practice or through a local community mental health center. Also check out www.catholictherapists.com and see if there might be anyone near you. Hang in there - you’re doing amazing work! I hope you can access the support you need.
 
Also, another quick thought - just because you’re feeling this way doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in the wrong career. Maybe you need a break; no one can answer that but you. But - there’s kind of a “triangle” that needs to be working effectively that revolves between you, the population you serve, and the administration you work for. If the administration is not getting you what you need to do your job, it’s natural to feel frustrated and somewhat helpless. You’re not able to do your job as well as it needs to be done, and you’re not getting as much positive feedback from the people you’re serving. The more frustrated we become with the lack of support, the less likely we are to really care and do our jobs to the best of our ability. It’s a vicious cycle that quickly leads to burn-out. Maybe that’s what you’re feeling from what I was reading in your post. Not that you’re not able to do the work, but you need adequate support and to get something out of your work instead of just giving all the time. I hope that helps.
 
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BioCatholic:
i worked about 8hrs in the morning shift, went to see Doom with “the rock”, and am now at station 15 covering until 5am, on the wireless modem just browsing here. its kind of slow, as the bars havent let out yet.

it’s friday night and invariably someone (a patient) on my shift is going to die. probably a car wreck on drunk driver, a shooting possibly too. any way you look at it and i am going to have to try to put someone back together, and miserably fail.

when i talk to a priest about it, they just kind of give me a blank look. they seem to have no idea what i am talking about. the most qualified people to help with CISD or job stress arent usually, if at all Catholic. and if i did find one itd probably be in montanna or somewhere far away.

-im tired of having to rescue people hurt or killed by drunk drivers. -im tired of having to treat abused women, men and children.
-ive had 3 gunshot wounds to the head in 5 weeks, and im sick of looking at brain matter
-federal money that was supposed to pay for new types of knifeproof AND better bulletproof vests rolled-in-one got cut.
-intelligence given to us suggests that armor piercing rounds are circulating higher than ever before. (see above concern)
-the regimen of antiboitics of Cipro, tetracycline, and vaccines i had to get after goint to/getting back from Katrina had to come out of MY pocket until the Feds decide to reimburse me.
-guess who’s on the DMAT list first and foremost to go to Wilma?

im thinking of moving to barbados and just becoming a lifeguard at a sunny, quiet beach resort. i think i need some encouragement as to why i should stay doing what i am doing. i know we are called to “take up our cross”, but sheesh, does than include armor piercing rounds?
Click to expand...
If my job bothered me that much, I would consider a change. Life is too short to be that miserable.
 
That is why I’m only a volunteer EMT, not making medicine my career. I have enormous respect for those who can deal with EMS day in and day out; I know I am not capable of that. Fortunately, since in my case it is not my career if the stress ever became overwhelming, I could walk away for a month, year, or however long I needed to.

You do sound like you could benefit from both prayers and something like CISD, though I can understand why you’d prefer a Catholic perspective. You may want to try to get into contact with a missionary priest. (There might be a retired one close to you, who would be willing to talk with you.) Depending where they’ve served as a missionary, they may understand much of what you are going through, where a parish priest wouldn’t.
 
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