Jewish marriage

[Spirithound]

I would like some information on the Jewish idea of marriage. What is the essential parts of the rite? Is sexual intercourse (later on, of course, in private) considered to be the conclusion of the ceremony? Are you considered married even before you consummate the marriage? Also, in Genesis 2:24, where it says that a man leaves his parents and becomes one flesh with his wife, is this considered a divine command to engage in marital sexual activity?
Thank you all.

 

[Kaninchen]

For weddings:

jewfaq.org/marriage.htm

bnaimitzvahguide.com/jewish.weddings.traditions.php

somethingjewish.co.uk/articles/951_jewish_weddings.htm

For sex:

jewfaq.org/sex.htm

 

[Valke2]

I would like some information on the Jewish idea of marriage. What is the essential parts of the rite? Is sexual intercourse (later on, of course, in private) considered to be the conclusion of the ceremony? Are you considered married even before you consummate the marriage? Also, in Genesis 2:24, where it says that a man leaves his parents and becomes one flesh with his wife, is this considered a divine command to engage in marital sexual activity?
Thank you all.

Acceptance of a ring creates a binding marriage contract (more or less). Legally, their married. But their not getting busy in the bedroom yet. Stage two begins when the husband brings the wife home. Then the marriage is complete, or elevated, as described in the link Kan provided.

 

[Valke2]

To the second part of your question, Jewish law obligates the husband to not only engage in sexual relations with his spouse, but to make sure she’s having a good time. Personally, I think that’s a lot of pressure . We recoginze that intimacy and joy are two of the primary components of marriage. The Talmud refers to the verse in Genesis where God says “it’s not good for man to be alone.” THis is the reason woman was created, according to Judaism. (As opposed as primarily for procreation).

 

[KarenNC]

To the second part of your question, Jewish law obligates the husband to not only engage in sexual relations with his spouse, but to make sure she’s having a good time. Personally, I think that’s a lot of pressure . We recoginze that intimacy and joy are two of the primary components of marriage. The Talmud refers to the verse in Genesis where God says “it’s not good for man to be alone.” THis is the reason woman was created, according to Judaism. (As opposed as primarily for procreation).

I have been reading Maggie Anton’s historical fiction series “Rashi’s Daughters” and it has been fascinating to look at the Talmudic teachings through that lens. She seems to do a pretty thorough job of pointing out which parts are fictional and which parts are based on her research into the lives of Jews in medieval France. The ones regarding procreation and appropriate use of contraception were very interesting. I had not encountered them before, having only a rudimentary acquaintance with Talmud.

myjewishlearning.com/ideas_belief/sex_sexuality/Overview_Judaism_And_Sexuality/Purpose_And_Meaning/Sex_Contraception_Isaacs.htm

I had come across the teachings on sexual relations between husband and wife before. Very interesting, particularly that the right to sex is the woman’s right, not the man’s.

jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/sex.html is an article from the Orthodox perspective, but be aware it is very frank and may not be for younger readers.

 

[Valke2]

I have been reading Maggie Anton’s historical fiction series “Rashi’s Daughters” and it has been fascinating to look at the Talmudic teachings through that lens. She seems to do a pretty thorough job of pointing out which parts are fictional and which parts are based on her research into the lives of Jews in medieval France. The ones regarding procreation and appropriate use of contraception were very interesting. I had not encountered them before, having only a rudimentary acquaintance with Talmud.

myjewishlearning.com/ideas_belief/sex_sexuality/Overview_Judaism_And_Sexuality/Purpose_And_Meaning/Sex_Contraception_Isaacs.htm

I had come across the teachings on sexual relations between husband and wife before. Very interesting, particularly that the right to sex is the woman’s right, not the man’s.

jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/sex.html is an article from the Orthodox perspective, but be aware it is very frank and may not be for younger readers.

I’ve read her first book as well. She’s my friends cousin and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was just discussing it on Thanksgiving with a friend. I know her second book is out, focusing on the other daughter.

If you haven’t checked these out, you might want to try reading “The Red Tent”, and a trilogy by Orson Scott Card, “Rebecca”, “Sarah”, and “Leah”. All are, IMO, excellent historical fiction pieces told from the female’s POV.

 

[KarenNC]

I’ve read her first book as well. She’s my friends cousin and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was just discussing it on Thanksgiving with a friend. I know her second book is out, focusing on the other daughter.

If you haven’t checked these out, you might want to try reading “The Red Tent”, and a trilogy by Orson Scott Card, “Rebecca”, “Sarah”, and “Leah”. All are, IMO, excellent historical fiction pieces told from the female’s POV.

Thanks. I just finished the second book, “Miriam”, and very much enjoyed it. I have had “The Red Tent” suggested, but had missed the Orson Scott Card ones. Thanks for the recommendation.

I have read Blu Greenberg’s “How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household” and enjoyed it quite a lot but it’s been many years ago. Very informative about traditions and customs that might look quite odd to an outsider, but make a lot more sense when understood in the context of the religion and the culture. I think I remember that she touches on niddah and other things related to marital relations, but can’t remember for sure. So that I don’t mislead anyone, this is not a fiction title, but about the nuts and bolts of modern observant traditional Jewish life, written by the wife of a rabbi. She also lectures on contemporary Jewish subjects.
levinejudaica.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=0_35_53&products_id=97

 

[Valke2]

Thanks. I just finished the second book, “Miriam”, and very much enjoyed it. I have had “The Red Tent” suggested, but had missed the Orson Scott Card ones. Thanks for the recommendation.

I have read Blu Greenberg’s “How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household” and enjoyed it quite a lot but it’s been many years ago.

Yeah, that’s one that pretty much every Jewish wife gets from someone as a wedding/engagement gift. In fact, as I am typing this, I glanced over at my book shelf and its the first title that caught my eye.

 

[Spirithound]

For weddings:

Acceptance of a ring creates a binding marriage contract (more or less). Legally, their married. But their not getting busy in the bedroom yet. Stage two begins when the husband brings the wife home. Then the marriage is complete, or elevated, as described in the link Kan provided.

Thank you Kaninchen and Valke for your help.

 

[Future_Prodigy]

To the second part of your question, Jewish law obligates the husband to not only engage in sexual relations with his spouse, but to make sure she’s having a good time. Personally, I think that’s a lot of pressure .

IS this correct? The husband is obligated to engage in sexual intercourse? I ask because on another thread concerning this issue in relation to Joesph’s marriage to Mary, a poster stated: “The 2 salient points are that sexual intercourse was only 1 of 3 possible ways that a legal marriage could be enacted, and sexual intercourse is the woman’s right, not the mutual right that we in Catholicism are familiar with. So, sex was not necessary for Mary and Joseph to actually be married, and it would be totally up to Mary as to whether they would engage in that activity.”

 

[Valke2]

IS this correct? The husband is obligated to engage in sexual intercourse? I ask because on another thread concerning this issue in relation to Joesph’s marriage to Mary, a poster stated: “The 2 salient points are that sexual intercourse was only 1 of 3 possible ways that a legal marriage could be enacted, and sexual intercourse is the woman’s right, not the mutual right that we in Catholicism are familiar with. So, sex was not necessary for Mary and Joseph to actually be married, and it would be totally up to Mary as to whether they would engage in that activity.”

It is true that a valid marriage can be commenced in any of the 3 ways. But once enacted, the husband is obligated to engage in sexaul intercourse with his wife, with her permission of course.