Job dilemma working in Healthcare

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ThereByGraceIGo

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So I work for a community healthcare system and have found myself in some rather sticky territory. I don’t think I need to go into the details of how worldly views that support same sex marriage and parenting, abortion and contraception. And I do my best to speak up for family and moral values when I can.

But today I was asked to do something that has me thinking it’s time to move on to an organization that is more in line with my morals and values. Today I was asked to remove the term “Father” from an online registration form for birthing classes because someone found the “stigma of that term to be outdated.”

The request sent me spinning and I recommended to say “Fathers and support persons” to be more inclusive. Removing the term “Father” felt demoralizing and demeaning because a gay woman who has been artificially inseminated has decided that the term “father” has too much stigma to it.

Frankly, I was ready to pull my badge, slap my key on the desk and walk out.

This is not the first time something like this has happened as we pander to those who scream for “equality.” It’s disheartening and I hate my job because I have to play along.

So I’m asking for thoughts on the topic. I can’t win this fight because all the powers that be are pandering to the populous.

I would LOVE to find a new job in Catholic Healthcare, but that might require a move…if God wills it, I would go.

I feel like I’m wallowing in sin every time I go to work. Sins of omission perhaps. Give me your thoughts.
 
Thank you for the encouragement @Jesuslover.

Something that makes me violently sad is seeing “Catholic” physicians credentialed to perform abortions. Something we don’t advertise, but I’m sure happens at our facility. Why else be credentialed?
 
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I am so sorry it happened to you! My heart breaks for you.

What you faces is what already many people faces, and much more would face it until it would become unscapable.

Before accepting to moove to a Catholic healthcare, you should be sure that they don’t have the same rules.
 
Honestly, I don’t think this is the hill I would die on.

It is not immoral to have something other than “father” on a form. Parent 1, Parent 2, Birthing Coach, whatever.

My sister became pregnant out of wedlock and gave the baby up for adoption. In her birthing classes there was no “father” because he turned out to be a deadbeat who left my sister high and dry. Our mother was her support person at the birthing classes. And I’m sure there was a moment of pain for her if she had a form that said “father” and had to put n/a or put my mom in or whatever.

Not everyone has their husband as their birthing coach even when they have a husband. Because some husbands are freaked out by that role.

So, yeah, I don’t see the problem actually.
 
ThereByGraceIGo said:
The request sent me spinning and I recommended to say “Fathers and support persons” to be more inclusive.
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So I’m going out on a limb to disagree respectfully. There are situations when a father can’t or won’t be there. Sudden widowhood or divorce during pregnancy, a father off serving in the military, a boyfriend abandoning a woman when he learns she’s pregnant, and a woman escaping a domestic violence situation are just a few scenarios that come to mind. The term “father” may only serve to alienate such women.

“Support person” is indeed more inclusive because it allows for someone else to come support the mother, such as a doula or the baby’s grandparent.
 
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At the very least, such formulations like parent 1, parent 2 from birthing class and school are deshumnizing. Catholics organisations and parents usually don’t promote them and avoid to use them if possible.
 
Agree to disagree.

I was raised by my grandparents. One of my brothers was raised by my dad and his stepmother.

Families come in many configurations and trying to be sensitive to those families doesn’t “dehumanize” anyone.
 
ThereByGraceIGo said:
Removing the term “Father” felt demoralizing and demeaning because a gay woman who has been artificially inseminated has decided that the term “father” has too much stigma to it.
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This also stood out for me. Are you uncomfortable working with lesbians? We follow the teachings of a man healed others indiscriminately, without first screening them for their moral standing. You have an obligation to do likewise as a health care professional.

Welcome to CAF, by the way! 😁
 
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This rules are recent and don’t come from a desire to be sensitive to the configuration of broken families you describe, that exists from a long time ago.
But to the new specificity to homosexual people who wants to have children.

To include them, we use neutral and deshumanized terms such as parent 1…
 
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Still not the hill I’d die on, but you spend most of your waking hours at work and if you aren’t happy then I hope you do find an employer you can be happy with!
 
ThereByGraceIGo said:
But today I was asked to do something that has me thinking it’s time to move on to an organization that is more in line with my morals and values. Today I was asked to remove the term “Father” from an online registration form for birthing classes because someone found the “stigma of that term to be outdated.”

The request sent me spinning and I recommended to say “Fathers and support persons” to be more inclusive. Removing the term “Father” felt demoralizing and demeaning because a gay woman who has been artificially inseminated has decided that the term “father” has too much stigma to it.
Click to expand...
Removing the word father from a form isn’t a moral issue.
 
I work in healthcare as well, but thankfully it is a Catholic organization and I haven’t been specifically put in this type of situation.

God knows what is in your heart. Those of us in healthcare, as in other jobs, need to show compassion even when we don’t agree with what others do. I would pray about this and I hope your prayers lead you to the right answer.
 
I am very sorry you are dealing with this idiocy in your work. As a paralegal, I had to work on divorces and as evidence, would often have to read and view pornography to prepare cases. It is likely no coincidence that the offices where I did this work had poor moral standards generally. I was treated terribly as we’re my colleagues. A little evil invites more evil.

In one firm a woman I worked for (a partner) threw a sandwich across the room because the receptionist ordered it with different condiments than were preferred. So dumb. This same person yelled at me using the “F” word (I had misspelled a name in an email), as did her other female partner.

In another firm, my male boss spoke of clients based on a "hotness"score. Some female clients were deemed “butterheads”, meaning they had a nice figure and unattractive face (everything attractive “but her head”).

I then went to work in a charity hoping it would be better but it wasn’t. More Godless people …cheating, lying, abusing each other and me.

I am now seeking work among practicing Catholics, or at least practicing Christians, but don"t know how to find it. I pray daily to St. Michael to keep me away from evil work places and lead me to good people and I will pray for you, too. What has been asked of you is insanely unreasonable.
 
Labels are generally not a hill worth dying on…reminds me of “Call me what you want, just don’t call me late for dinner”.
 
It is increasingly difficult to live as a catholic in this world, especially if one has to work under ‘secular’ employer.
 
I work in a facility that is part of Catholic Charities, and we definitely have to call trans people their preferred gender pronouns, when they come along, for example. They also now list their birth sex, which makes sense medically to do. The point is, all Catholic hospitals deal with the public and treat them no matter what they believe or do. Just because a facility is Catholic doesn’t mean anything. If you’re hoping for a grass is greener scenario you may be disappointed.
 
I really appreciate the different perspectives on this topic. There is no perfect place. It’s difficult to discern sometimeS what is just purely evil and what is a necessary accommodation. And I bristle from the bully mentality and lack of respect. It’s difficult to hang onto my Catholic identity some days.

More to take to prayer.
 
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If you do quit, make sure you outline the exact reason you are quitting. In that way, you can stand up and be counted at the very least.
 
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