Joining Church-Pruning Friends YIKES!

[DakiniArtist]

And here we go…

I wasn’t advertising coming into full communion with the Church Saturday (yay! I’m getting to, long story short.)

My in-laws found out (mind you, they are cradle Catholics). They are angry with me and I got a cacophony of anger and emotion the other day. I got called a couple of four-letter words. I got told about “the history of violence and hate” the Church has. One of my parents-in-law snipped at me, “Oh just move to Indiana with the rest of the gay haters.” Another in-law said, “I can’t believe you hate women and gays so much.”

I posted a new rosary I made Monday on Facebook and that pruned out some friends who didn’t realize hubby is Catholic and asked if we were. I said, “Yes.” One friend said, “Oh. Catholics aren’t tolerant” and dumped me. I keep getting sent stories about the high rate of HIV infection in rural Indiana because the Planned Parenthoods closed because of pro-life people because of religion, so there you go. Ad nauseum.

Holy week, according to the RCIA Core Team, was, ideally, my down time for spring cleaning, praying, contemplation. I’m a stay-at-home mom currently. I was hanging out with kids, going to parish services, reading, etc. I did not anticipate this absolute landslide of hate and viciousness. At all.

Oddly, among my truest supporters, not my open-minded, oldest and dearest friend who was there when one of my kids was born (she dumped me), but are many of my gay male friends, one of whom is Buddhist and asked me sweetly to make him a rosary. They realize I’m thoughtful and, hey, there must be something amazing about the Church if Catherine is joining.

There is so much hurt, anger, and divisiveness right now and it hurts my heart. One of my in-laws was red-faced and yelling at me (because my husband was not there) over this and adamant how awful the Church was to him/her growing up. What a “huge, horrible mistake” I’m making. How awful there is that feeling! I wanted to cried for my family member.

I didn’t expect this.

Also, my brother-in-law’s wedding is soon, and he’s a lapsed Catholic marrying a non-Catholic in a ceremony presided over by a Catholic priest who is constantly in trouble for being outspoken. So, this weekend, Sunday Easter dinner should be fun!

Thanks for letting me vent. I’m gobsmacked that such a beautiful, amazing week I’ve been so looking forward to is now so wracked with so much sorrow and hate. Just wow.

Blessings,
Catie

 

[Della]

All this is the devil’s last kick in the pants before you are reconciled to the Church. He’s furious and he’s prompting your nearest and dearest to turn on you. Jesus said this would happen, but it’s not fun when it happens. See it as a badge of honor, for Jesus was similarly abused and reviled by his own, too. You are suffering with and for Our Lord. :console:

God bless you and your family and welcome home to your true family–Christ’s Church.

 

[PJM]

=DakiniArtist;12865704]And here we go…

I wasn’t advertising coming into full communion with the Church Saturday (yay! I’m getting to, long story short.)

My in-laws found out (mind you, they are cradle Catholics). They are angry with me and I got a cacophony of anger and emotion the other day. I got called a couple of four-letter words. I got told about “the history of violence and hate” the Church has. One of my parents-in-law snipped at me, “Oh just move to Indiana with the rest of the gay haters.” Another in-law said, “I can’t believe you hate women and gays so much.”

I posted a new rosary I made Monday on Facebook and that pruned out some friends who didn’t realize hubby is Catholic and asked if we were. I said, “Yes.” One friend said, “Oh. Catholics aren’t tolerant” and dumped me. I keep getting sent stories about the high rate of HIV infection in rural Indiana because the Planned Parenthoods closed because of pro-life people because of religion, so there you go. Ad nauseum.

Holy week, according to the RCIA Core Team, was, ideally, my down time for spring cleaning, praying, contemplation. I’m a stay-at-home mom currently. I was hanging out with kids, going to parish services, reading, etc. I did not anticipate this absolute landslide of hate and viciousness. At all.

Oddly, among my truest supporters, not my open-minded, oldest and dearest friend who was there when one of my kids was born (she dumped me), but are many of my gay male friends, one of whom is Buddhist and asked me sweetly to make him a rosary. They realize I’m thoughtful and, hey, there must be something amazing about the Church if Catherine is joining.

There is so much hurt, anger, and divisiveness right now and it hurts my heart. One of my in-laws was red-faced and yelling at me (because my husband was not there) over this and adamant how awful the Church was to him/her growing up. What a “huge, horrible mistake” I’m making. How awful there is that feeling! I wanted to cried for my family member.

I didn’t expect this.

Also, my brother-in-law’s wedding is soon, and he’s a lapsed Catholic marrying a non-Catholic in a ceremony presided over by a Catholic priest who is constantly in trouble for being outspoken. So, this weekend, Sunday Easter dinner should be fun!

Thanks for letting me vent. I’m gobsmacked that such a beautiful, amazing week I’ve been so looking forward to is now so wracked with so much sorrow and hate. Just wow.

Blessings,
Catie

I AM sooo sorry

But keep in mind how much Christ suffered.

Take Up your Cross and Follow Me

Phil.2: 8 “And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross Luke.9 :23 And he said to all, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.**Mark.8: 34 **And he called to him the multitude with his disciples, and said to them, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. **Luke.9: 23 **And he said to all, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. **Luke.14: 7 **Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”

KNOW that God will OFFER each of us sufficient GRACE as needed for OUR personal sacrifice.

And FOR THE RECORD:

we ARE taught to LOVE the sinner BUT to hate the sin:thumbsup:

Their is very much wrong understanding of our ACTUAL Catholic beliefs.

As a FYI:

I offer a totally FREE of ALL cost home study course with weekly e-mailed lessons, if you’d care to really learn what we Do believe and why WE PRACTICE our faith as we do. I provide the evidence that will enable you you to share the TRUTHS of our Catholic Faith with the evidence to prove it

God Bless you,

Patrick

Send me a private message if interested.

 

[AKDee]

Oh, that sounds so hard. I tend to agree with Della- this is an attempt by the Devil to stop you from joining the Church. I am also being baptized/confirmed on Saturday and have had one of the most difficult periods of my life since joining RCIA. My mother has stopped speaking to me over something I didn’t even do but she imagines I did, my Father-In-Law got upset because his first wife was Catholic and he said she chose the Church over him and he was disappointed in me for joining the Church (I love my Father in Law, so this was very hurtful). My employers are a husband/wife owners of a small business that are devout Baptists and he told me that Catholics aren’t saved and she looks at me like I grew horns and where we used to be able to have nice conversations about Christ now she treats everything I have to say as suspect. I had two of my pets require surgery in one week which significantly affected my finances. And as I learn more about the Church I feel like I won’t possibly be able to follow all the rules and that I’m in more danger of being sent to hell now than I was before I began the conversion process. I’ve suffered from dryness in prayer and acedia through this process. It’s been really hard. But I remember reading up front that the Devil will not want us to join the Church and that we should expect that things will happen and so I’m trying to keep my chin up and believe that after Easter things will improve. Plus, there have been a lot of good things on this journey. I do feel the Church is correct, I have made some good friends in RCIA, and I do feel I’ve been drawn closer to the Lord.

In your case the only thing I can suggest is to ensure you never react to these attacks in anger. Stay charitable and kind so that the things you do and say remain above reproach. Let them see Christ working in you, and they may well be drawn back to the Church through you.

 

[DakiniArtist]

AKDee,

Ugh! I am so sorry you’re dealing with it!

Yes, I am keeping my composure with everyone. I admit, it’s draining. A friend reminded me, it speaks more about them than it does me. It’s sad.

Thanks everyone for the bolstering.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

The other posters have given you good, practical answers, so you should listen to them.

I’m just going to follow it up with a hearty “good riddance.” If a person respects me so little that they’d turn on me simply for stating my beliefs, then I don’t really need them in my life.

People who live in the lies of our culture can’t stand it when the lies are brought to light, and they’ll do whatever mental gymnastics it takes to make themselves feel better. (Seriously, closing planned parenthood increases HIV cases??? If they didn’t actually believe that I’d laugh at the thought; instead, it’s just depressing.) The “culture of tolerance” is itself intolerant of anyone that doesn’t adhere to their dogmas. Alternate viewpoints can not be tolerated because those view are intolerant. It’s sad, really, that so many people buy into that mindset. Catholics don’t hate gays, or women, or anyone. We -Love- everyone. The problem is that our culture equates love with license, rather than with desiring what is truly right and good…

Please know that, even if those people turn on you, Christ never well. Turn to Him with your troubles, and remember that even though he promised us great hardship for following him, he also promised that he’d be with us every step of the way, and that he’d never give us more than we can take.

Welcome to the Church! I pray that your ceremony is beautiful and full of God’s grace and love!

 

[Avila123]

Dear DakiniArtist and AKDee,

My prayers go out to you. I hope that you feel you can raise any questions you have here? Sad to say that there are a lot of people who neither understand the faith or want to (and some are Catholics). Even if you think the question may have been asked before but can’t find it, ask away as it can be helpful for us to refresh our knowledge or learn with you.

May God bless you abundantly.

 

[Isca]

May God bless you as you come home. I’m so sorry you’ve had all this difficulty, people can be so unkind at times.

 

[without]

I didn’t expect this.

Why not you were explicitly told what to expect as a result of your choice…

MATTHEW 10
34
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword.
35
For I have come to set
a man ‘against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
36
and one’s enemies will be those of his household."

 

[Xantippe]

I found the Indiana story:

huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/31/indiana-planned-parenthood_n_6977232.html

“Now, the state is scrambling to erect pop-up clinics to combat an unprecedented HIV epidemic caused by intravenous drug use.”

I’m having a lot of trouble connecting the dots here.

“Overall, the provider’s 25 remaining clinics in Kentucky and Indiana gave more than 8,000 HIV tests in 2014, about 1,000 more than the previous year. And the numbers would certainly be higher if the five shuttered clinics in Indiana had been able to continue to operate.”

To me, 8,000 HIV tests in a two state area sounds like a pitiful drop in the bucket (Indiana’s population is 6.6 million and Kentucky’s is 4.4 million). PP has been doing less than one HIV test for every 1,000 residents. Or, to look at it differently, they’ve tested 8,000 people in two states. 9,992,000 people or so did not get tested. Woo hoo!

It would be way more plausible to blame an intravenous-drug caused HIV outbreak on lack of needle exchange programs, legal issues with buying clean needles, whatever.

 

[casslean]

This is part of the process, I think. I’m so thankful to have an amazingly supportive RCIA team and sponsor/godfather (who I met when I joined RCIA), as well as a parish community that has embraced me wholeheartedly. They have really been a blessing, and never more than now. I won’t have any family or friends (from outside the church) with me on Saturday when I’m baptised. My family disagrees with my decision and will not be attending. My friends - save for two who are both too far away to attend - either disagree or refuse to try to understand how important this is to me.

I raised this issue with my sponsor and the RCIA leaders just after Christmas (as my attending Christmas services had caused tension in my family). As they pointed out, my “old” life - the one where God was not my priority, where living a Christian life was not my priority - was like any other bad habit. And as you break bad habits - like giving up smoking or drinking - the people who surrounded you with those habits tend to fall away. They don’t disappear, particularly when they are family, but they assume new roles in your life as you adopt your new habits. And hopefully, as they see how happy you are in this new life, they might be drawn to you and that happiness as well, and be compelled to accept your choice and maybe even follow it.

 

[DakiniArtist]

Xantippe,

Thanks so much! I always enjoy reading your responses. I get oodles from them. This helps tremendously. My sister-in-law works in HIV/AIDS care and with a high gay male population and this is near and dear to her and I understand her anger at me, though very peripheral and, um, without education on the Church and Her teachings. This is great information.

Casslean,

Thanks for the wisdom. Sorry you also have family disagreements; it’s a bummer. I’m so excited for us though!

:grouphug:

 

[Erich]

I’m just going to follow it up with a hearty “good riddance.” If a person respects me so little that they’d turn on me simply for stating my beliefs, then I don’t really need them in my life.

Those FB “friends” weren’t true friends to begin with.

 

[Xantippe]

Xantippe,

Thanks so much! I always enjoy reading your responses. I get oodles from them. This helps tremendously. My sister-in-law works in HIV/AIDS care and with a high gay male population and this is near and dear to her and I understand her anger at me, though very peripheral and, um, without education on the Church and Her teachings. This is great information.

Casslean,

Thanks for the wisdom. Sorry you also have family disagreements; it’s a bummer. I’m so excited for us though!

:grouphug:

Thanks!

It’s actually even worse than that (I just knew I was going to screw the math up). It’s 11 million residents in the two states (not 10 million), so they tested 8,000 and didn’t test 10,992,000 residents. If they’d had the five closed clinics and the five closed clinics tested at the same rate as the 25 that are open, that would yield 1,600 more tests. Again, that’s kind of underwhelming, and not really what you need to stop an “epidemic”.

My feeling is that these days, a lot of us get our news primarily from hastily read headlines seen in passing on the internet. A lot of stuff circulates around without anybody ever managing to read the actual articles in any sort of detail.

Here’s some more stuff:

"Years ago, William Cooke sensed a crisis building. The only doctor in rural Austin, Ind., noticed that intravenous drug use was soaring in his town of roughly 4,300, where 23 percent of residents live below the poverty line. He feared that people addicted to injectible painkillers might be plucking used needles off lawns, shooting up — and passing them on.

"A surge of drug overdoses hit Cooke’s family practice, where he’d treat anyone with $10. More Hepatitis C infections followed. Next came an HIV diagnosis in December, rare in southeastern Scott County. By Friday, the number of new cases had climbed toward 80.

“Last week, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence declared the outbreak a public health emergency, the worst in state history, authorizing a short-term needle exchange program. The announcement came as a surprise: Rates of new HIV transmission have been declining in Indiana for years, from 463 reported in 2002 to 205 in 2012.”

“Patients came to him already sick. Most had illegally used Opana, a prescription painkiller that delivers a potent high, especially when ground into water and injected into veins, CDC investigators found. The nearest hospital with social services and HIV testing, Cooke said, was only five miles away. But many of Austin’s drug users lacked transportation.”

“Cooke, who opened his practice in Austin 10 years ago, never expected to battle an HIV outbreak. Now he’s on the frontlines, driving from house to house, offering free testing. He’s educating residents about both painkiller addiction and HIV treatment. He’s thinking through ways to implement telemedicine, bring treatment and counseling to residents’ living rooms.”

washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/03/30/how-an-hiv-outbreak-hit-rural-indiana-and-why-we-should-be-paying-attention/

 

[DakiniArtist]

Thanks again. Washington Post is pretty left-leaning so even better for citation purposes.

I agree about the headline reading. Myself, I read something and if it piques my curiosity I try and get more info from another source, liberal or conservative, as well as Reuters or BBC, just to get a more complete picture.

Frankly, I get the topical alarm by many of my friends. Prolifers get abortion clinics closed, therefore other services are gone, therefore rates of X-problem go up. However… as a wise Jewish man I heard speak once said (probably Dennis Prager), there is no “necessary evil.” If something is evil, it is not necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be evil. So, we have to dig deeper and make sure these needed services are provided by places that do not furnish abortions, in my estimation. (I try to be thoughtful and not for my opinions from internet memes and soundbites.) I do understand how many of my friends get on the partyline and reach the conclusions they have; Ido wish they would be more forward-thinking about the matter.

Thanks a million for this; I’m quite sure I’ll be using it many times!

 

[Colorad007]

The hostility towards Catholics and the Church will most likely only grow through time, so what you are experiencing may become more of a norm into the future. It is a horrible thing, and it is very sad. But it is indeed the cross that our Lord asked us to carry, and so carry on.

The best thing you can do is provide the most passionate, holy, and virtuous witness of Christ’s love in your life. It will scandalize some, attract others, and maybe silence most.

 

[DakiniArtist]

The hostility towards Catholics and the Church will most likely only grow through time, so what you are experiencing may become more of a norm into the future. It is a horrible thing, and it is very sad. But it is indeed the cross that our Lord asked us to carry, and so carry on.

The best thing you can do is provide the most passionate, holy, and virtuous witness of Christ’s love in your life. It will scandalize some, attract others, and maybe silence most.

True, and thanks for the reminder.

I thought I’d heard it all over the last four years. Seems like this week it’s reached a fever pitch of a child abuse comments (I can’t even repeat the crassness of the comments here), a flippant comment by a friend of “Oh! Well don’t burn me a the stake after Saturday!,” and the other canards of awfulness.

I’m always gobsmacked. I’m aware of the failings of the folks in the Church over the years, but sometimes I think, “Are we even talking about the same thing here?”

 

[pensmama87]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Even though we’re to expect it as Christians, it stings to realize that people you thought loved and cared about you are willing to be so ugly (over something they supposedly think is so unimportant!) It teaches you a lot about who your friends really are!

(And oddly enough, my gay friends were the ones who stuck around, too. We discuss our differences now and then, but we know underneath that we all care deeply about one another and that’s at the root of our convictions, even though they’re different.)

Praying for you! I’m happy you are going to be received into the Church after all. Welcome home!

 

[DakiniArtist]

:hug1:

Thanks, PensMama!

 

[kkollwitz]

Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. 42 And every day in the temple and at home they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.