Joining Third Orders

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shogun69

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Good afternoon

I just joined the forum ; I hope you can clarify my doubt.

It is now quite few years that I think to join a third order. I have visited few times a Benedictine Monastery and I thought to become an Oblate of the Monastery . I love pass my time praying and sharing for few days the spiritual life of the monks ; however the Monastery is far from where I live and it is not feasible for me attend regularly the Oblates meetings of the Monastery.
Few months ago I read about the Carmelite orders and as I am devote to the Virgin Mary And I read quite a lot about Carmelite charisma and spirituality I contacted the Friars and I met them ; it was great and there is a third order group 12 min from where I live. I love both orders in terms of history, charism and spirituality can I join both?
I have the chance to see the Benedictine congregation only in summer while I can join the Carmelite group and attend instead every month and regularly

Thanks

F
 
Which Carmelite Order, O’Carm or Discalced Carmelites ?

If you join the Discalced Carmelites, Secular, OCDS, it will take about five years of aspirancy and formation before you make temporary promises. After three years you can make definitive promises.

However, you can not join another order or even a group like the Knights of Columbus, once you made your promises with the Discalced Carmelites.

It is a life time commitment and even if you can not attend a group meeting, you still follow the Constitution in your daily life.

My wife and myself made vows about 10 years ago, but our group dissolved. However, we still pray the Liturgy of the Hours and have a half hour of mental prayer, daily. We also live according to the spirit of poverty, chastity and obedience.

I can’t answer for what’s involved with the Oblates or O’Carm.

Jim
 
You can only be a member of one order, but you can try several before settling on one.

I think all of the third orders have the same process for becoming a member. First, attend for a few months as a visitor to become familiar with the order, Then a 6 - 12 month newcomer/postulant period where you learn about the order and are accepted into the order at the end. Next a novice period of 1 - 2 years where you make a temporary promise at the end. Then a period of 3 years or so before making a final promise.

You may find that the order close to you is a perfect fit, or you may decide it’s worth it to find a way to make it to the monastery!
 
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Only one should hold the attraction for you. As we say here in the states, with the Carmelites being so close, this is almost a “no-brainer”. Bloom where you are planted.

There’s nothing wrong with studying and appreciating Benedictine spirituality. I know of one Benedictine sister who read up on St. Teresa of Avila, and started integrating the mystic’s teachings into her own prayer life.

Teresa and John’s writings are for everyone, not just Carmelites.

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with having your “major” – the actual third order/oblature that you are attracted to, and your “minor” – adapting bits from the other.

If there are other third orders in the area, please do look at them, as well.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
 
Hi thanks very much for your constructive replies.
Jim is the second one so yours…

Ok I will attend the OCDS meetings and see how it goes
 
Hi Cloisters

absolutely what you said is exactly what I thought.

Yes the Carmelites order is so near where I live , both Benedictine monks and Discalced Carmelites friars are very nice

F
 
Fauken said:
I don’t believe you can, you can only be a part of one religious order.
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This is correct. They are two different charisms. But you certainly might see if you can visit each one before deciding which to apply to.
 
Cloisters said:
Only one should hold the attraction for you. As we say here in the states, with the Carmelites being so close, this is almost a “no-brainer”. Bloom where you are planted.
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I originally thought the same, spent a year with a community about 5 minutes from the house, now I drive 30 minutes to a different chapter that is a much better “fit”.
Cloisters said:
If there are other third orders in the area, please do look at them, as well.
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Definitely! There are many similarities between the different orders, but one will probably resonate with you more than the others.
 
Just thinking…

The Benedictine Oblates are not a third order so in theory I would not join two third orders but I will be more a friends of the Monastery and instead part of the Carmelite third order
 
shogun69 said:
Just thinking…

The Benedictine Oblates are not a third order so in theory I would not join two third orders but I will be more a friends of the Monastery and instead part of the Carmelite third order
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No, the Carmelites would not allow this.
 
This is technically true, but not entirely. Let me explain. I know a Sister of Mercy who is a Benedictine Oblate, and a Redemptorist priest who is an Associate of a congregation of Sisters. These are just two examples; I could cite others. While it is true that one cannot be a member of two Third Orders Secular (and, of course, Benedictine Oblates are not a Third Order), it is perfectly possible to affiliate with more than one community in other regards. Furthermore, many congregations permit non-Catholics as Associates, and there are non-Catholic Oblates (the distinguisted author, Kathleen Norris, comes to mind).
 
St. Clement Hofbauer was a 3rd order Franciscan before he became a Redemptorist. Of course, he died in 1820.
 
You cannot because it isn’t possible to fully live out the spiritualties of both, at least adequately. However, discernment is all about finding which spirituality is the right “fit” for you. If you feel drawn to being a Carmelite, discern with them. In time, the Holy Spirit will reveal his will for you.
If I was you, in addition to attending the meetings, I’d make a list of why you like these orders. A list can help you find clarity over this decision.

Btw, God’s favorite order is the Dominicans, just sayin’ 😉
 
I am a Franciscan, without a doubt. However, I have not been formed or taken vows in the secular order.

I think those who pursue formation in any third order, are honorable people…but for myself, I see it as not being a necessity.

In the case of the Secular Order of Franciscans, I view living the gospel the best I can, as a good Catholic, is no different from the rule of the secular order.

Spend time discerning, and asking for the help of Christ in making your commitment.

You will be in my prayers.

Pax et bonum!
 
Discalced Carmelites, 3rd order and Secular, are the only one’s who can make vows.

The others make promises, but one is not better than the other, just a different spirituality.

You need to pray and ask for God’s guidance on where He wants you. It may be, He doesn’t want you to be part of a 3rd order right now.

Jim
 
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